To Thine Ownself Be True: Where Are You Not Honoring Yourself?
Honor Yourself & Be in Integrity
Do you regularly honor your needs? Who in your life makes you do something that is out of integrity? Are you constantly wondering how to respect yourself more? Learn about where you may not be honoring yourself.
Certified life coach, author & award-winning professional life organizer Julie Coraccio shares steps and tips to support you in creating the life you choose, deserve and desire through decluttering your life, mindfulness and how to organize your life.
About Clear Your Clutter Inside & Out
Clutter is stuck stagnant energy and prevents you from creating the life you choose, desire and deserve. We discuss clutter in all its forms: energetic, spiritual, emotional, mental & physical, relationships, health, finances and more. We share tips and take action steps for clutter free living and how to organize your life and death with end of life planning. We’re thinking outside the box on areas where people might not realize where clutter is blocking them. When we remove clutter from our lives we can discover our passions, lead the extraordinary lives we are all meant to live and share our gifts with the world.
Julie Coraccio 0:01
Today on clear your clutter inside and out, we’re talking about when and where you’re not honoring yourself. Do you regularly honor your needs? Who in your life challenges you to do something that’s out of integrity? Are you constantly wondering how to respect yourself more? Learn to be aware of where you’re not honoring yourself as we continue our month focusing on paying attention. Do you control your clutter? Or does your clutter control you? unclear your clutter inside and out. We’ll teach you awareness as well as action steps to create change in your life. Come on, let’s get started. Third time to charm first time I recorded this it just disappeared it didn’t come in a little video audio it was all jacked up and I couldn’t access it it had I don’t know how to describe it when your files when you don’t have like we have a little w for word or a little p for PowerPoint it has like a little character little thumbnail that didn’t have any of it and then I’ll take two I’d started and nini we have a big it’s not a little robot, I don’t know what’s called it’s big mechanical thing that dumps a letter and then nini decided to go to the bathroom and even though I love my cat, my little cat. Wait, she got in the third time’s a charm. I’m hoping I will be able to deliver the message that the universe wants you to hear because apparently I wasn’t able to do it in the first two tries. Today’s episode was inspired because I used to be a doormat and I’m being generous there. I would just I had no, I didn’t have very many boundaries, I didn’t have healthy boundaries, I was out of integrity. I also see this in my clients who try to twist their lives to fit the expectation and needs of others, instead of checking in, where they’re not honoring themselves, I see this online a lot. I read this post just the other day in a financial freedom group I’m in and there was definitely financial abuse, meaning that she was on. She had asked for money, he kept track of any Penny, just you know, in a very, and I would consider emotionally abusive and there probably was additional abuse, completely out of integrity when you allow someone to control your life like that. Now being out of integrity or not honoring yourself doesn’t have to be extreme, like abuse. If you’re a vegetarian, and you go to someone’s house and I say, Oh, you know They spent all this time cooking for you, and try to guilt you into having a bite of meat. And if you do that you wouldn’t be honoring yourself. Again, don’t judge yourself if that’s happen, but that’s an example. I had a friend that had an affair. And she told me that she had used me as an excuse. We were living in different states at the time, and I had a boundary and I said, don’t ever use me as an excuse, again, you do what you’re going to do. But don’t bring me into that because I’m not comfortable with that. And she honored that. Had I not spoken up, I would have been really upset. Because I would have not been honoring myself and I would have known it. Especially when I had an opportunity to say, hey, this isn’t okay. I’m going to encourage you. Look at all areas of your life, where you may be out of integrity. And remember all this month is spending 10 or 15 minutes a day, focusing on the subject of the week to increase licks our awareness are paying attention muscles. That’s the purpose. Awesome. It’s great. If you can do more than that, get some wise ha moments or if you’re able to take action. Remember, I’m going up. Coming up is my break in July or I take my six week break. So if you spend this entire month, just working on the awareness, you’ll have six weeks where you don’t have an episode and that’ll allow you some time if you choose to, to take some actions physically. Do you listen when your body needs a break? In my March episode with my friend Wendy, she had brain cancer and she shared how she ignored again and again, the signs her body was sharing with her She’s out of integrity that when I worked at USC and got mono, and I was exhausted all the time kept pushing and pushing and pushing. My body’s like Hulu, I’m tired. There’s something wrong Me,
and then it, it broke. No well kept playing my body was trying to tell me I was out of integrity that do you not go to the gym? Perhaps your body really needs to exercise and get moving. And instead you’re watching TV, not honoring yourself then maybe someone asks you to move something and you have a weak lower back and you know that couch is too heavy for me to help. It’s too much. You say yes. You’re not honoring yourself, mentally. Do you listen to yourself when you need to relax and retreat and recharge? Are you able to honor that? I’m a firm believer in taking mental health days I’ve been working on my husband told him you know what you should allow yourself one mental health day a month. I always did that when I was working. And that’s hard for him right? Because Go go go move and move. I was really proud of them the other day He’s on a 410. He worked 45 hours in three days. And he took the fourth day off. It was just too much. I was like, you know, your body can’t do this, your mind can’t do that. And he listened. Can you step away from work when you need to the forum at my husband, I could work 24 seven. It wasn’t good for me. And I figured I’m not in a relationship. Well, I’m in a relationship with myself and I wasn’t being too kind to myself and I was out of integrity. Do you honor yourself by quieting your mind by giving yourself a mental break through a mindfulness practice? Do you feel anyone who might have too much influence over you? Someone that makes you question your decisions? I told you all hopefully in five years, because it’s very personal very hard. I’m going to talk about how I was in this women’s group and the woman who led it and boy did I give my power away. boy did I allow her to influence me and One of the clues as I started to step back, I started to step back and then I saw one of the women about five months afterwards. And her entire thing was RoseMarie said this RoseMarie said that I came home and my husband’s that. Yep, that was you. I was like, Wow, that is way too much influence you’re giving your power away. So that might be something to pay attention to. Who is influencing you too much where you’re not honoring yourself? By listening to your own innate wisdom? emotionally? Do you respect your emotions or shut them down or lash out? How are you not honoring yourself when you do that? Can you easily express how you feel your family, friends, coworkers, most intimate relationships or to someone shame you or invalidate what you’re feeling? And you stop who takes you out of it? Tegrity in your emotions, where are you allowing that to happen? You know, people in different cultures, I would use a turmoil and you see on TV and wailing and expressing their grief, and we’re a little more buttoned up in America and I’ve heard people say to so that’s wrong or whatever. You know what I think when you express yourself to that, that deep and that connection to you, you’re able to move forward more easily because you really felt that at such a level, that you’re able to release it. How about spiritually? Are you doing what you love? Or have a job that pays the bills? Right, you’ve not honored yourself because you’re not following your passion. You are staying out of integrity because of fear. Most likely, I don’t know. Of course everything’s everyone’s different. Maybe you’ve had someone say, Oh, you know what, you’re disappointing me. If you Follow your dreams. If you leave our small town and go to the big city, you’re leaving your family behind. What are you doing? Why are you treating us like that and then you don’t go and then you regret it down the line. That’s happened to more than one person. When you do that you’re not honoring yourself. You’re not honoring what your soul needs. And again, remember, this isn’t about judgment. This is about becoming aware so that you can change that. Know you have all the answers you need within got clutter. 365 journal prompts, books, supports you in figuring out how to clear your clutter. get control of your clutter, so your clutter doesn’t control you. reclaim time, money, sanity and resources. Choose from physical, mental, emotional, spiritual holiday
Are compilation volumes One, two and three. Free mp3 meditation with purchase. Learn more at reawaken your brilliance, calm or purchase on Amazon. Prior to meeting my husband, I for a long time expected Well, I want to be in a relationship because I want them to make me happy. Well, no one can make me happy. No one can make me happy with me. And so that was a big aha lesson for me. Yeah, and I learned that probably in my 30s. But right but at least I learned it. That’s why I do this. I want you to know, hey, it’s never too late. You’re never learning too late and you can change your life. That’s why I share all my embarrassing stories with you. And so once I had that aha moment, I was like, Wow, it’s an inside job. It’s up to me. And so, my most important relationship is with me. If I keep myself happy and healthy, then of course that translates termini relationships. So it’s an inside job. And the most important relationship, I will posit is with yourself. So when you’re not honoring yourself and you’re out of integrity, the ultimate unkindness relationships, and I’m sure this one’s a biggie. You probably have people maybe hopefully not that won’t take no for an answer. They won’t honor your need to say, you know what, I can’t do this right now. So who’s that in your life? Or is it someone who’s always always asking, asking, asking, and never giving? Are you as well able to ask for support when you need it? Because that’s being told, You know what, I’m exhausted. Can you please do this for me? I really need some support. I don’t know what to do. I need a roadmap to get there. how well your relationships and you know, I encourage you to share Hey, you know what, this is what I’m doing. This week and how people respond is really going to tell you a lot. Believe I don’t know is it my Angelou that said, you know, people tell you who they are. They Ah, always always do is whether or not are you paying attention? Are you listening to what they are telling you? How about your health? Are you out of integrity if you’re sitting around eating junk food? Are you not honoring this temple, this body that you have, as you age, making sure you stretch enough? You know, I kept mentioning the excuse, we I’ve made excuse make excuse now like, okay, It’s time. It’s time. I don’t want to be a certain way when I’m older and I’ve not been treating this lovely machine too well. So how well are you taking care of your health? Are you brushing and flossing twice a day having regular dental appointments going to the doctor regularly and honors Also by listening to your intuition when I have a new doctor removed I really really liked her. And I said, you know, hey, I’m getting my mammogram. And actually, I think I don’t want to do mammograms anymore because I don’t have breast cancer and everything I read the mammograms seem to be worse and I need to do some more studies on that. But many things I’m worried about breast cancer is not one of them I can get cancer that’s one thing I’m not worried about. Anyway, so while I’m there Can we do a scan of my thyroid it’s just I just have this feeling it needs to be checked. So we do the scan great technician as whole dealing with this entire thyroid has been I feel very fortunate anyway so then huge thing got the biopsy you know cancer and then finally went to the surgeon who is great. And he said you know what they told me out four millimeter or centimeter whatever you size of a golf ball, I think And I’m already past that when I got scammed several months ago and he said, you know, we can do the biopsy, but it can’t get everything I don’t get I don’t have cancer, I just know. But what I appreciate is my intuition. Said, say something to your doctor, and I’m thrilled that my doctor said, Okay, we’re just going to go ahead and scan your thyroid. We’ll just trust your intuition. So I honored myself by speaking up and saying, I have this intuitive thought that we needed to get my thyroid checked out. She honored it. And you know what, I’m grateful because I’m grateful because it’s just starting to, you know, your wind pipes kind of straight up and down. It’s just starting to influence the wind pipe. So we will get it taken out.
Before all that happens, and I’m super grateful but I honored myself. That was the important part. And just FYI, if you didn’t know this is very common. You can have this and not can’t The good news is I won’t find out until about three weeks after surgery. 75% of people do not need meds for once a day, even if they get half their thyroid removed, so you can help put that out for me that I’m like going, I’m not gonna be mad take up the thyroid. The other half have got to get work done. She’s been a little lazy. Remember, honor yourself. And even when it’s it’s, you know, the fascinating thing is we all think, Oh, I’m kind of crazy. I have this crazy thought. And it’s my intuition. Intuition is there for a reason and even sounds nuts. Your intuition sorry to tell you something. Finances? Do you pay your bills and monitor and keep track of that? Or do you just go into the denial and stress mode, you’re not honoring yourself. And even if you think avoidance is working, it’s that drip, drip drip at the back of your head. It’s not supporting you, it’s stressing you out. Even more, you might not realize it though. Or if you said, Hey, you know what, I’m gonna clear my physical clutter and then you go out and buy a bunch of stuff. You don’t honor yourself, then if that’s causing you stress, and you said, I’m gonna make a plan, then you run out of integrity. Maybe you have people like, hey, I need some money. Can I borrow some money? And your intuition, your gut screaming, no, Will Rogers know Oh, Roger. danger signs everywhere. And then you loan the money. And maybe you don’t have a lot of money to spare, and you never get that money back, right? And then you’re angry and you’re upset, but you didn’t honor yourself or on your finances or you’re not honoring yourself. Look at all areas of your life. Now, I encourage you to pay attention and notice if you have any patterns. For example, maybe you are intimidated by someone and you just go into that immediate autopilot. I will do what you You say, and then you sit back from them say, wow, I never realized this. Every time Tom comes into the room, it’s I just snapped to attention. I do what he says. And why is that I’m afraid of I’m afraid of him. Oh, wow, I had forgotten this. Tom wants threatened me. And he’s such a big guy that I feel physically threatened by him. I didn’t realize it and every time Wow, that’s what I’m going into fear. I’m afraid he might harm me. Okay, well, let’s see if there’s something I can do about how can I make sure someone’s always with me when I’m in the room with Tom, can I have a conversation with Tom and my boss? What is it that I need to do? Again, we don’t need to go on the why we don’t need to go into taking action, but I just throw that out there. If you’re super motivated, and especially if you’ve been paying attention, and you’re like, wow, I have a solution. I can do it. Right. Now go for it. Go for it absolutely take action. Maybe you notice that you have a pattern of when you get reach a certain stress level and you’re stressed Mac, you take the path of least resistance even if it’s out of integrity. Again, no judgment here where the scientists or the archaeologist, but that’s a big Hots, Okay, wow. Then I can attack my stress and deal with it so that it doesn’t reach a level where I just go on autopilot and step out of integrity.
take actions from today’s podcast. Set the intention to discover where you’re not honoring yourself. Pay attention to where and with whom. You’re out of integrity. Notice any patterns when you find yourself stepping out of integrity. recognize any aha moments where why you’re not honoring yourself. Be in integrity. take any action if you desire. On our next episode, we’re focusing on what straining you go out. Clear your clutter to create the life you choose deserve and desire. When you clear your clutter, you can share your gifts with the world. Sign up for our free newsletter at reawaken your brilliance calm. If you’ve enjoyed clear your clutter inside now, please rate review and share us
Honoring Yourself Transcribed by https://otter.ai