It can be challenging to say no, so today I’ll share tips to nicely and effectively say no and get your point across and your boundary set.

Don’t forget to check out the first part of this blog. I talk about some of the reasons you might not be able to say no. Today I’ll get into the nitty-gritty of how to say no.

How to Say No

BE CLEAR AND DIRECT. Say no. Don’t hem and haw.

Be brief—you do not need to explain why you are saying no.

I am not able to commit to that right now.

Tips for Saying No Easily!
Photo Unsplash

I really appreciate/am honored you asked me, but I can’t do it.

I have to say no for now but will let you know if something changes.

If you do want to share, be honest about why.  If you lie you will probably get caught—especially with social media these days! And you will probably have guilt.

There are some people who won’t take no for an answer, so be prepared that you might have to do it a few times.  I would really think hard about someone who doesn’t honor your request the first time.

You can ask someone to support you. I once had a friend hold my hand when I had to make a difficult call.

Practice in the mirror. Write out what you are going to say, even if it’s, “No, I am not able to.”

Don’t apologize—it is your right to say no.  I used to start so many sentences with I am sorry because of the guilt I felt. You are allowed to choose what you would like to do and whom you would like to help.

Learn how to effectively say no! Photo Unsplash

Have a rule. For example, someone asks you for free advice.  I wish I could, but as a rule, I don’t offer advice outside of a coaching session.

If open and want to do, propose something else.

Consider suggesting someone else. Not pass the buck, but if you know someone how.

Gratitude.  So grateful you asked me.

Pass the buck. I tell this to my clients all the time

Already booked.

Overstretched at the moment, to make it less personal and let know you are taking care of yourself and putting yourself first.

You have the choice to set boundaries and have good self-care. You can say no.

You can unfollow, unfriend, unlike, and (gasp!) get off social media.

You can let friendships fade, renegotiate or quit them entirely.

You can tell someone to pound sand, say hasta la vista or buh-bye.

You are allowed to be healthy and you are allowed to take care of yourself. You are good enough, you are worthy and you are loved.

Just say no! Photo Unspash

When people show you who they are, believe them. You then get to make the choice of what you will allow.

Remember that your self-worth does not depend on how much you do for other people.

Take Actions from both blogs on tips to nicely and effectively say no:

  • Say no to one person, event, thing, item this week…. whatever you do NOT want to do!
  • Take it a little deeper. Can you figure out WHY you struggle to say no?
  • Know your triggers. What or who is it hard for you to say no to?
  • Practice the different ways you can say no and see what is most comfortable for you. 

What do you need to say no to right now? How can you most effectively say no? How can you practice saying no?

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