Are you aware of your emotional wounds and how they are affecting you? Have you ever thought about examining your emotional wounds? Do you find yourself biting your tongue when someone has hurt you because you’re afraid of how they’ll respond? Are you concerned you’ll look powerless if you share your vulnerability? Learn about examining your emotional wounds and open up to looking at the not-so-good stuff.
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Certified life coach, author & award-winning professional life organizer Julie Coraccio shares steps and tips to support you in creating the life you choose, deserve and desire through decluttering your life, mindfulness and how to organize your life.
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Clutter is stuck stagnant energy and prevents you from creating the life you choose, desire and deserve. We discuss clutter in all its forms: energetic, spiritual, emotional, mental & physical, relationships, health, finances and more. We share tips and take action steps for clutter free living and how to organize your life and death with end of life planning. We’re thinking outside the box on areas where people might not realize where clutter is blocking them. When we remove clutter from our lives we can discover our passions, lead the extraordinary lives we are all meant to live and share our gifts with the world.
Julie Coraccio 0:02
Today on Clear Your Clutter inside now, we’re talking about the bad and the ugly. Are you aware of your emotional wounds and how they’re affecting you?
Do you find yourself biting your tongue when someone has hurt you? Because you’re afraid of how they’ll respond? Are you concerned you’ll look powerless if you share your vulnerability? Learn to open up to examining the not so good stuff. As we continue our month focusing on growing into who you’re meant to be? Do you control your clutter? Or does your clutter control you? Unclear your clutter inside now. We’ll teach you awareness as well as action steps to create change in your life. Come on, let’s get started. Today’s episode was inspired. I’ve used this for several episodes almost should give it credit for inspiring the entire month of March, when a podcast reviewer got angry at me when I brought up how a toxic relationship can be abusive. This is your A to the podcast. And naturally we’re going to go deeper. When we shy away from the muck and the Yuck, it keeps us stuck. I sound like Dr. Seuss there. It’ll can’t go forward. And I might have mentioned this, because I feel really strongly about it. If I ever stopped growing and learning and sharing my challenges, and going deeper, stop listening, or watching. I’d be really unhappy with myself if this podcast had stayed the same as it was eight years ago, not about the surfers, my friends. The world needs us now more than ever sharing our gifts. And we’re not going to be able to get to that if we don’t deal with the not so good stuff. But again, I don’t like talking good and bad and coming from a place of duality. When you clear that motto? Is it bad if you are able to heal, because healing is good. So I’m going to encourage you to kind of shift your perspective a little bit and look at it as something positive. Today’s episode was also inspired by my reawaken your brilliance interviews. And from my own experience, it is easier to examine your wounds than holding back all that energy and shoving them down not acknowledging them. When I look back on a lot of my life that supported me in clearing clutter work. When I did all those interviews with reawaken your brilliance, I believe that allowed me to meet Tony doing all that work was preparation for meeting him, I wanted to be the best version of me to attract a really awesome guy. I just had my annual reading healing with my mentor, Judy, and I’ve had a couple of podcast episodes with her. And I’d encourage you to check that out. And I want to remember to validate all your feelings because she was having a moment and she said all feelings are valid. And I want to remind you that she said but then we want to take the next step. Remember rise above I just know momentary need to go and purge it all up. So don’t make any emotion you’re feeling. Good, bad, right? Wrong. How letting our wounds fester causes clutter, energetically, it affects us people pick up on things, even if you aren’t able to express it. You’re attracted to certain people know you’ve all met somebody like ooh, I just know don’t want to be around that person. You might not be able to articulate why but you’re picking up on the energetic cluster. And if people are kind of like a garbage dump, because I keep stuffing stuff down and are owning and acknowledging you’re not going to want to be around that. You feel good when your chakras are clear. I’ve done a sound healing before and it is been one of the most amazing experiences I’ve had in my life. And you can really tell a difference if you get someone who is really good sound healer, like I said, half the body when it was done and the other guy was like a feather and a lead ball. Create physical clutter, because you’re buying a lot to plug up something instead of examining well I won’t examine why I’m sad and I’ll just buy a lot of close creates emotional exhaustion with the drip, drip drip at the back of your head. You know what’s going on. You know, there are things to examine that you’re not fooling doing that but they’re not going away. So they’re still involved at some level. It can create mental clutter, because it’s at the back of your way in some way shape or form.
Because you know It’s there. And obviously, it’s going to create spiritual clutter because you don’t grow your block. Had I not dealt with some of the bigger issues in my life, I couldn’t have written about it. I couldn’t have started the next adventure. I’m in the planning stages and very excited. And, and just I’m really excited. But I had to do that deep down work, I had to clear that clutter. Remember, it’s a process before, I believe that, oh, there’s this end. I wouldn’t say that I thought I’d become enlightened. But I always thought you know what, there’s going to be this break. It’s going to happen, we’re not going to have to worry about it. I’m going to reach this place, and then the grown is done. How has not examining your wounds created clutter for you? First, what are some of your emotional wounds? You know, I talk often about that, I believe it’s when you dig deep. It’s about feeling not good enough. not worthy enough for love. And that’s how I’d personally sum it up and you might use different language. Maybe
you feel disapproval, invalidated. Rejected. misunder. misunderstood, not listened to and visible and adequate. Or perhaps you feel defective, and salted, disparage or discounted.
Maybe you feel like a failure or a loser. Or that you’re undeserving guilt, or shame or that you’re a bad person. What resonates with you of that list that I just shared, marinate on that for a bit. Why are we afraid to exam the hard stuff? We’re afraid of pain. That’s understandable, mentioned earlier about all the energy to hold back on all of that. You really aren’t aware of it until you release it. It is free, feel lighter. I got my hair cut yesterday for a year of not getting it cut. And I should have taken a picture because pile of hair that she thinned out. She was like, Yeah, you have to care. I felt like I lost 20 pounds yesterday because there was so much hair removed. And it’s the same way with healing. When you free up that energy, you feel lighter. And it’s been my experience yourself ego, whatever term you use, really won’t give you more than you can handle. I did the clearsight program, which was 14 months. And it wasn’t until the end of that time. I could say out loud the trauma that happened to me. I had also done enough work that saying it out loud didn’t make my head explode. And there are a bunch of other reasons why no that I could not have owned it or recognized it until that point in my life. And I was okay with that. But boy, was that free. And then the next step after that was okay, I have this knowledge now how do I heal? What do I have to do to release it? The thing is you have to do the work, you can’t not do the work. And you have lots of people lots of resources to support you on that journey. You do not have to do this alone. Think especially in America like Oh, rugged individualism. Now you need your support team. I personally believe I have angels guides other whole support team from the other side, helping me and you know, depending on what your religious or spiritual beliefs are, I encourage you, you know, right out your team who’s got your back, I also one year did an exercise where I created my mastermind and I took pictures from they were living or dead people. I’m like, You know what, I want to consult with them. And as I’m saying this, I think when I get settled, that would be another really good idea. And that I would just talk to this team. So maybe that’s something that will support you in moving forward and being willing to heal. You might be afraid that you’ll look weak, and that you’ll be powerless. You know, when before Athena crossed, and I was talking to the animal communicator, you know, it’s fascinating to me how our animal supportive, but she was said to me, you have this pattern and which I’m in the process of breaking. And it was around the feeling of powerlessness that I had and that’s a big thing that I started working on last year and I know I’ve got some more work to do on that. But it’s been very frustrating to feel powerless and then I’d get into this kind of circle feeling bummed out and depressed about it. And so I’m working on how do I break that cycle? What action can I take to feel empowered now don’t get me wrong, I’ve taken action last year and it didn’t turn out hide wanted and it kind of I was like wow, but I have to remember okay. This was your part to play in it. You did it. Nothing and I say this all the time. Nothing is done for not meaning Whatever you do, like I remember I was like, Oh, I did all this work. And I, you know, no one bought the course or whatever it was, I just taught an example off the top of my head. But that was something I could easily build on to create the books. So it’s not wasted work so on encourage you, you won’t look weak, you won’t be powerless. And that’s why it’s really important to have a team of good people and people that support you, on your journey around you.
Another thing you might be afraid of is that you’re going to upset the applecart people might react negatively, we don’t like to display our vulnerability, you know, Brene, Brown does this whole thing on vulnerability. I’m sure she has a YouTube channel, check it out. A lot of cultures, cultures tell us to suck it up, man up America does. Or we’re afraid that if we accept someone else, we’re going to have to manage their feelings. Now, that’s clutter, for sure. And you are in charge of you no one else. And I’ve been in that spot of people pleasing and wanting to manage others feelings. You can’t control it, you can do everything, quote unquote, right? And they can still get upset. So that’s something I want you to say, Okay, I’m in charge of me. And that’s all I need to worry about. Again, you know, it’s not saying go out and be cruel, if you have a child to take care of. But you know what I’m talking about, you know, when you’ve been in those situations where you’re trying to manage someone else’s feelings or walking on eggshells or not taking care are worried that you’re not taking care of them. That’s what you need to break doing. You also might be afraid it might stupid, weird, a really different. I’m kind of the weirdo in my family. They’ve come around a little bit. And I see in a good way. You know, I’m not so strange anymore. The things I do have become more mainstream, for lack of a better term. You know, you have someone like Dr. Oz, who’s a medical doctor talking about energetic medicine being the next frontier. So it’s becoming more mainstream. And you know what? Find your tribe? If someone thinks you’re weird. Oh, well, you know, I don’t have time for that. I really don’t. And I’m gonna encourage you learn that. Don’t wait until you’re old like me learn it. And if you put it out there when you release those people that aren’t good for you, people will naturally gravitate to you and come into your life that you need to feel stuck, but have no clue what you need to do to move forward. Would you like to feel energized and excited every day? Are you ready to create the life you desire? Julie’s crutches supports you and finding the answers within and then taking action to make changes happen. Visit reawaken your brilliance.com to learn how Julie can support you with life coaching.
How do we examine the bad and the ugly? First, name it to claim it. You have to acknowledge the wound is there, and we’re all wounded. I have yet to meet someone that isn’t.
When I first started my journey, I couldn’t have named it. I also found that there are layers. And it’s my current belief subject to change. Because I’m always trying to grow, learn that we’re either coming from fear or from love. And the false beliefs. I’m not good enough. I’m not worthy. I’m not loved, or I’m unlovable. So what is your wound? Now I want to do a really quick side note here. And I should do another podcast on this. Try not to get caught up in the story of the wound. The more healing that I do, the more often I’m told that I get it. And I also think you have to do what’s best for you. So if you have to understand how it happened, what’s behind it do that. But as I’ve grown and done more healing, I’m less interested in the why behind it. And I’m more interested in the How can I move forward? How can I release this? How can I let go. And that, you know, for me, it was a process before it was really important for me. But what happens is we can get caught up in the story and then not be able to move forward and we go down that other rabbit hole instead of focusing on healing. So that’s a little side note that I like to share. Flip your thinking, can you see your wounds as a building block to healthier relationships as one example, instead of something that prevents you from having a relationship by acknowledging them your wounds at leads to healthier relationships? That whole time when I was interviewing people for reawaken your brilliance which was three, four years. Every time people like well let’s use your you as an example. So I would share my personal life, I’d gain knowledge I’d get some healing I move forward. And again, I felt one of the main purposes for reawaken your brilliance was to meet Tony to clear my relationship clutter. Realize what others do is about them and how you respond is about you. I’m sorry if I sound like a broken record about this, but it’s true, because a lot of times we can’t, and I know this, and I fail at this, have to remind myself, make your healing the focus and quit laying the blame on others. As I draft this, starting, right, this, Hillary Baldwin, Alec Baldwin, wife in the hole claiming to be Spanish, and in an interview with The New York Times, she doesn’t own anything. It’s the journalists fault for Miss reporting. She never misspoke. Bla bla bla bla bla. And what I would say to her, is, you know why look at that wound first of all own that you were just honest, from everything I’ve read there multiple interviews of them on camera, him saying my wife is from Spain, and all that to say, I just think these, they should hire me, I’m a lot cheaper than a really expensive PR crisis management, I’d say tell the truth and own it. And here’s what else she could do, which would support healing herself and healing others. Why did she feel the name to claim she was Spanish and change her name? What’s up with that? You can identify with the culture. I love all things Italian and Hawaiian. And I can do those Julie without an accent. So what was she, what need was she trying to fill what wound was going on there. And if she were to say I own it, I’m sorry. And here’s why I did this. I’ve done a lot of self healing, also self work, people would embrace that. Most not all. Now, I’m not saying to give people a free pass. But blaming them is going to help you heal. Now, again,
I want you to be very clear, something might have happened and you might need to take legal action. But just as always doesn’t happen. Right? If you’ve been following the podcast for a while, you know, we should have won our lawsuit against the HOA. I’ve talked to lawyers and other people who have a broader understanding. And they were surprised we lost. You know, it’s the laws crazy are getting harassed right now and the legality around some of the stuff I just can’t wrap my head around. I hate injustice. And that’s a core issue for me. And in this year’s meeting, we had a meeting separate from the annual meeting, someone said, what do they need to do to support you do and I said, well, they can refund our money we lost because of them, but they’re not going to do that. And I know enough that I need to heal and let it go on my own. I can’t. No one else can do that for me. So the HOA doesn’t get a free pass, but I recognize I have to let it go. It has nothing to do with them at this point. And you know, it’s one of the things I have to step back and trust that what goes around comes around and you know, whatever you put out in life you get back and anyway, that I have to not spend my energy and time saying oh, I want them to to pay for what they did not go down that rabbit hole and be like, okay, nothing’s gonna change. You did what you did and have faith and trust that it’ll make a difference in some way, shape or form. Because what it helped me stand up for myself, it was good for both of us. That’s what I have to take away and move forward from there. But it’s up to me. What feelings come up around your womb? What is it you’re trying to get when you feel unfulfilled in some way? When that women’s group that I left I wasn’t feeling accepted. It reminded me when I was rejected by all my friends transitioning from grade school to junior high. So I know what do I need to do to make myself feel accepted? I one has to accept myself first. Warts and all the good, the bad, the ugly. That’s why we’re talking the bad and the ugly today. I’m not perfect. But I have to accept myself part and parcel all of me. Okay, I accept myself and the next step is what else can I do to feel accepted? Hang out, find people that like me find people that get me find people that are like, Wow, you’re really groovy. Imagine yourself healing the wounds. I started my journey back in my 20s with a therapist. And she once said to me, this was a great metaphor, and it’s something that stuck with me from all these years and she said, what I was doing like pick, pick, pick it the wound, and I’d never allowed to heal. Let it scab. Isn’t that a great metaphor? So it’s like instead of pick pick picking that the HOA board gets what they deserve, let it go. Let that scab over, right and then I can heal And then I can examine, alright, this injustice what else in my life? Is it bringing up when I’ve felt that I’ve stood up and justice hasn’t been served really important, great self care during this time, if you are doing the work, like to call them growth periods, it can be really mucky. Yucky. So how are you going to take care of yourself. And if you have to take a break, do that. I don’t work on myself. 24/7 I definitely take breaks, you know, I’ve taken a break from working one on one with someone to do in the plant medicine class. But that’s healing me, I can’t tell you I’m just so blown away. How doing this class is supporting me in healing. So I’m still doing my healing work in a different way. Get professional support, if you need no shame in that, you know, I think that there are still with some people, if you see a therapist or she coaches negative, like why can’t you figure it out on your own needs professional support, there’s no shame in that. It’s a okay, I want you to release the shame around that. I have some professional support, in many ways, shapes and forms. One foot in front of the other consistently, you can’t dabble a little bit here, and then quit or dab a little bit another area, I would here’s the home analogy I would use. Sometimes when people are decluttering. And organizing, maybe I’m looking at my office, we’ll start on the bookcase and maybe complete a shelf and like, Oh, I’m going to go to the filing cabinet. Maybe look at a couple folders. Oh, I’m going to go to the hutch and see what’s in there. And so they dabble, but they never go deep. They never really declutter, and they never really get organized. So it’s about being consistent. If you’re working on one thing, work on that
and make progress. Again, everything’s layers. But if you just do a little minute on five minutes, and then switch, it’s not going to really create change. Reminders yourself, it’s a process all these layers, so it’s gonna take time, but that doesn’t mean you can go forward and think of it as a spiral. I’m really trying to continue to go up that spiral because I don’t see things as a direct linear path anymore because I go up and then sometimes I slide down, I don’t do so well. But I get back on the horse and I go up and then sometimes I reach past that I go a little more. And I keep moving and maybe slide down but um, but I’m continually moving forward up that spiral. The biggest one for me from childhood still comes up. But now I can recognize it most of time. You know, I talked a moment ago about feeling powerlessness and feeling like a victim and that’s why I still work on it. I’m also have been a new this I’m learning a little bit more, we probably have to do a podcast on this about generational wounds that are passed on. I read an article and it’s really interesting. And I didn’t relate it to something I knew. So that’s something I’m stewing on because that’s something I believe that in the work Gosh that I did all the way back and clear sight when you heal yourself. You can also heal the wounds from the ancestral, your lineage because everything’s energy we’re attached you know, even though we’ll shed this physical body although I have to tell you I did a virtual reality headset or whatever the call the other night. Oh, wow. That was crazy. And but for me, it was a perfect metaphor of my at the moment, subject to definitely change is again, I believe in reincarnation, but this multiverse like everything going on at once. fascinates me, but it it really brought home for me that like wow for having all these different lives at once. The Virtual Reality explains that like okay, all right, I lost I got killed or whatever. Go on to the next life anyway, it was just a very interesting experience. tools to deal with wounds as you move forward. I encourage you to have as many tools in your toolbox. But some things that can support you are to express how you’re feeling. someone hurt you tell them that keeps festering it builds upon that original wound. And even if someone has passed you can do this. If someone hurts you and they’ve died, talk with them. Have a conversation if you need to scream at them. That’s a okay. What is it that you need to express? And the more you do this, the easier it becomes if you have to go out in the middle of nowhere and scream do it. Don’t avoid your problems deal with them head on. Again. All this stuff builds all this stuff builds and I think as I’m taping this, I did a special didn’t edit it just put it right up this morning. As I’m recording the response to DC and reminding people it’s okay to take a break. But I believe that a lot of this stuff has festered for people I didn’t deal with their problems. I’ll express how they feel and now it’s exploded. So deal with your stuff head on, find support if you need it. I also believe healthy habits, such as gratitude, practicing empathy, self compassion, compassion for others, can really go a long way. And then remind yourself you’re not alone. No one is perfect. We all have our stuff. You aren’t bad, different. A loser because you’re dealing with stuff or haven’t dealt with stuff. We all
have our stuff. Take actions from today’s podcast. Recognize how your wounds have created clutter in your life.
examine why you’ve avoided the bad and ugly parts. Write a list of your emotional wounds. Slip your thinking about your hurts when you can. Take responsibility for your life, words, thoughts and actions. Don’t take on other people’s stuff. Understand how you can get your needs met in healthy ways.
heal your wounds. Understand healing as a process. Express your feelings. Face your challenges and problems head on. create healthy habits continue to work on self awareness, learning and self love.
On our next episode, we’re talking about where have you lost your humanity. Go out Clear Your Clutter to create the life you choose deserve and desire. When you clear your clutter, you can share your guests with the world. Sign up for our free newsletter at reawaken your brilliance calm. Even enjoy Clear Your Clutter inside now. Please rate review and share us
Transcribed by https://otter.ai