Social Media Self Love: What’s the Connection? How Can Social Media Be Harming You?
Self Love Social Media
Are you glued to your social media? Do friends and family complain that the only interaction from you is online and not in person? Is your day shaped by the number of likes and love you get? Are you looking for ways to be organized and efficient with your posts? Learn tips to have a healthy relationship with social media.
- Keep track of how much time you spend on social media.
- Observe your feelings before and after you spend time on social media. Do you notice a difference?
- Make a list of what you will gain when you unplug.
- Pay attention and see if being on social media brings up negative feelings such as jealousy.
- Create a plan to reduce the amount of time you spend on social media.
- Consider using something like Hootsuite if you need to be on social media.
Certified life coach, author & award-winning professional life organizer Julie Coraccio shares steps and tips to support you in creating the life you choose, deserve and desire through decluttering your life, mindfulness and how to organize your life.
About Clearing the Clutter Inside & Out
Clutter is stuck stagnant energy and prevents you from creating the life you choose, desire and deserve. We discuss clutter in all its forms: energetic, spiritual, emotional, mental & physical, relationships, health, finances and more. We share tips and take action steps for clutter free living and how to organize your life. We’re thinking outside the box on areas where people might not realize where clutter is blocking them. When we remove clutter from our lives we can discover our passions, lead the extraordinary lives we are all meant to live and share our gifts with the world.
TRANSCRIPT SELF LOVE SOCIAL MEDIA
Julie Coraccio 0:00
Day on clearing the clutter inside and out. We’re talking about social media. Are you glued to your social media? Do friends and family complain that the only interaction from you is online and not in person? Is your day shaped by the number of likes and love you get? Are you looking for ways to be organized and efficient with your social media? Learn tips to have a healthy relationship with social media as we continue our month focusing on love.
Are you ready to clear your clutter and share your gifts with the world? I teach you how to navigate the waters to declutter your life. Get organized and become more mindful Every episode I’ll give you take action steps that you can easily apply to your life. Come on, let’s get started.
Today’s episode was inspired by request from a reviewer. I chose to do today’s episode from the perspective of love loving yourself and others because I’ve seen a lot of the negative effects of social media. I have a few tips at the end of the episode on handling social media as well which may have been what the listener viewer was going for. But I think if we kind of clean it up and have a different perspective on social media that might help. One of my goals for this year is to put down the iPad Mini because I own my own business there. is a tendency for me to want to stay connected 24 seven. I’ve been a lot better about that. The hubs and I went out to dinner a few nights ago didn’t bring out the many in the car not once during dinner and not once driving home. Yay me. Even if you aren’t a small business owner like me, you could still be addicted to social media. I wanted to share some stats and this is from brand watch.com from November 2017. Facebook and Snapchat now see 8 billion average daily video views. US adults spend an average of an hour and 16 minutes each watching video on digital devices. Now remember, this is just video. This doesn’t count your Facebook surfing time. In the US there were 175.4 million people watching digital video content intent 55% watch videos every day. According to social media today, we would spend five years and four months on social media. Think about that. I remember so I started my business in 2009. And social media was kind of getting started I knew that I had I shouldn’t say not gay was it was going but coming into business, there were things you had to do and it’s just grown since then. Instagram has come out since I started my business Snapchat bunch of things have just exploded can be really overwhelming. I don’t know about you, but the thought at the end of my life that I’d spent five years on four months on social media depresses me. downside to using social media, it can be addictive. And I really want you all to consider these things. Especially if you are addicted. I read somewhere that Instagram doles out the likes meaning you might have 10 people who like your post at once, but Instagram is not going to show you that there’s two likes here, and then maybe an hour later, three likes, and so it’s kind of like to keep you hooked up. They want you to keep checking your Instagram count. There was a study at Nottingham Trent University that looked back over earlier research on the psychological characteristics, Personality and Social Media use. The authors concluded, it may be plausible to speak specifically of Facebook addiction disorder, because addiction criteria such as neglect of personal life, mental preoccupation, escapism, mood, modifying experiences, tolerance and concealing the addictive behavior appear to be present and some who use social networks excessively. It can also trigger sadness less well being. One study back in 2013 from the plus journal found that Facebook use was linked to both less moment to moment happiness and less life satisfaction. The team looked at how many people use 11 social media sites including Facebook, Twitter, Google Plus YouTube, LinkedIn, Instagram, Pinterest, Tumblr, Vine, Snapchat and Reddit, and correlate this with their perceived social isolation. Not surprisingly, it turned out that the more time people spent on these sites, the more socially isolated they perceive themselves to be. When I was researching and read that it reminds me of the keyboard warriors. they perceive themselves as isolated and I think they get a lot of frustration of just being mean and nasty on social media. getting trapped in comparison. I did a 10 minute decluttering episode last July about comparing. When we scroll through our feed, we are more likely to compare ourselves and make unrealistic judgments
about ourselves. And I wonder, are we secretly in some kind of competition with who has a better whatever, or who has the most likes? I saw a story once about a big instagrammer and I don’t want to say it was fake, but they had a lot of work behind the scenes to create this lifestyle that I’m wasn’t sure was accurate. And you know, they think people are like, Hey, I’m about to go on my private plane and it’s a stock photo or some other such why are we doing that? Why do we feel the need to make ourselves look better? The green eyed monster comes out As well as depression. Studies have shown that social media use triggers feelings of jealousy. How can it not, it can become a vicious cycle. feeling jealous can make a person want to make their life look better, and post jealousy inducing posts are their own in an endless cycle of one upping and feeling jealous. Researchers have also found that heavy Facebook use may make certain people experience feelings of envy, which in turn, could lead to depression. We found that Facebook users experience envy of the activities and lifestyles of their friends on Facebook. They’re much more likely to report feeling so depression study co author Dr. Margaret Duffy, a University of Missouri journalism professor said in a press release, Facebook can be a very positive resource for many people. If it is used as a way to size up one’s own accomplishments against others, it can have a negative effect. We’re tricked into thinking we are connected, and it’s positive. But it really isn’t. Part of the unhealthy cycle is that we keep coming back to social media, even though it doesn’t make us feel really good. This is probably because of what’s known as a forecasting error. Like a drug. We think getting a fixed will help, but it actually makes us feel worse, which comes down to an error in our ability to protect our own response. More friends on social media doesn’t mean much, doesn’t necessarily mean you have a better social life. Being social on Facebook isn’t really being social. Social loneliness is linked to a variety of health and mental health problem. problems including early death. So real social support is very important. Virtual friendships don’t have the therapeutic effect is time with real friends. And finally, the need for more and more and more and more and more. mimetic desire is defined as the act of wanting something simply because someone else has it. on social media, this behavior is often taken to the extreme. Entire groups are formed based on the need to collect all of a certain item. The desire to have the latest and greatest, whatever the group is whole is interested in. benefits to unplugging. You are more present. And as I’ve talked about before, the present moment is the point of power to change your life. You can actually enjoy the moment instead of Snapchatting about it. reposting a video. How crazy is it? We can’t enjoy a meal, a birthday party without someone texting, snapping and posting? Are we sharing our experiences? Or are we trying to present ourselves in a certain way? Are we more concerned connecting online with some what fake friendships than the people who are really in our lives right in front of us? We’re not present when we’re worried about getting the best shot. So when you unplug, you’re more present. Be authentic. Is it really you on social media, or whoever you want people to think you are. I keep it real by sharing who I am my mistakes and struggles. Because I know when I do that I can give someone else permission to do so. I think for many, especially younger kids They can’t be authentic because they want to be seen in a certain way. Taking a break, lets more room for the real you to come out, drop that mask, better relationships.
unplugging also enhances our relationships. We can spend quality focused time with people. Instead of glancing at our messages every 10 seconds, we can focus on who is right in front of us, instead of who isn’t. Social media also lends us more to making snap judgments on people. There might be someone you would connect with in real life that you wouldn’t give a second glance to based on their social media profile. That reduces stress. We aren’t meant to be going 24 seven and always answering a phone or reading a status update on Facebook. Take the time to think about what you will gain from unplugging
Can you easily navigate the ups and downs of life? Are you tired of feeling stuck and the journey of 1000 miles begins with one step. If you are ready to take that first step, go to reawaken your brilliance calm to learn how I can support you in creating the life you desire.
How to Get off social media, delete the apps from your phone. When you’re waiting in line, do some deep breathing. You’re not going to automatically check your Twitter app or your Facebook app. If it’s deleted. You can still access it on your computer. Of course, some apps like Instagram which are only on the phone, turn off the notifications. Set a timer. How many times have two or three hours gone by that you’ve been fooling around on Facebook. Set a timer to remind you when it’s time to get off, try 15 minutes first start. If you can’t follow the timer, get an app that will force you off like self control. Edit ruthlessly. Think before you post. My rule is anything I post has to be acceptable. Being on the front page of the New York Times. really helps me a lot. Unplug. Try getting off for an entire day. Can’t do that. Try a few hours. Start building your own plugging muscles. If you feel the urge to check social media, take a deep breath and ask yourself some questions. Are you afraid you’ll miss something? Is your habit fulfilling a need? Being so plugged into social media can serve as a distraction? What are you distracting yourself from? pain? anger, sadness. Remember, be gentle with yourself. We’re on autopilot most likely with these habits. The good news is once you start building your muscles, it’ll be easier with time. Can you continue to carve out 1015 minutes half an hour each day away from social media, or limit your time? Is there a better habit you could replace it with such as breathing or meditation, taking a walk or stretching? Find another built in distraction. Social media is a distraction for most of us. Read a book watch a documentary Or you could work on achieving your dream and write the great American novel. Or how about volunteering. Lots of animal shelters and rescue groups could use your help. Contact people in different ways. If it’s your friend’s birthday, add it to your calendar and call instead of writing on the wall. Notice a friend you haven’t seen a while and your newsfeed. Write an email. You can stay in touch with social media, or Gosh, consider actually using the phone and set a date for coffee. Create a list of all the things you’ll gain when you take a break from social media. better relationships, more time for solitude. Saving money because you won’t be purchasing everything in your feed. reading more books, engaging in hobbies keep a list You can see it. heard your friends and group list unfollow the drama of the fewer posts and images you have to slog through, the better off you’ll be. One place to start is by calling your list of friends and groups. Start with friends of friends of friends who really don’t have a close connection to then people who tend to create Facebook drama. Finally, take a look at the groups you join. If you aren’t an active participant, then unsubscribe. I did this at the end of the year, it felt great. I was like, Oh my gosh, I have a billion things on here. And I also have people who’ve asked me to like their page, but then we belong in a group and it was like multiple posts the same thing. So I quit that. I’ve also unfollowed a lot of people and it felt great. I don’t have to be engaged in their drama. And finally ask for support. Let family and friends know. You’re reducing your on social media and ask for their support, most likely they’ll be happy to hear about your commitment using Hootsuite. If you’re a small business owner, or if you still want to keep engaged with social media, something like Hootsuite can be very helpful.
Now they’ve changed things when I signed up, you could have five free accounts. And now they’ve changed that you can only do 30 free posts at once. And I use this because it allows me to schedule so I have five accounts. And that means I can schedule posts for six days. They changed it a couple months ago. And it was really disappointing because I would do usually two to three weeks at once. So then I could put it down and once a month I would have to do post or twice a month and it really saved me a lot of time and aggravation. What’s great is you can use it and plan and always have a post. So you don’t have to get sucked into posting each day because you’re starting to post and then you’re like, oh I want to read about Johnny and Sue and then You know, you can lose an hour. So that way you can schedule all your posts. Now I try to answer every social media posts that have not always possible. I know on Facebook, I am dinged because I don’t respond immediately. And I’m like, I’m working. I can’t respond to the post all the time. And Facebook, if you follow me on Facebook, they’re changing things. And you know, Facebook is awful because I have multiple times throughout the day to like buy an ad, buy an ad, buy an ad, but Zuckerberg just announced the other day that they’re changing things. So you see more stuff from family and friends instead of business? And I wanted to ask, well, then you’re going to stop sending me multiple requests to do an ad on Facebook. So I don’t know how that’s gonna play out. Basically, it it almost thinks makes me think Facebook is gonna be obsolete. So if you have a business on Facebook, that’s something you’re going to want to investigate as more information comes out. Answer on the post. I’ve also taken the step I’ve deleted some posts and I thought I’d never do that, but there were just a couple on YouTube. And I thought you know what you’re just so nasty. I’m just not even try to be the better person say something nice say something that perhaps plants a seed I deleted it. So that’s something that I’ve done differently and made a difference. There are also other schedulers, like social backer sweet buffer, every post social proof and Sprout Social, those are paid. I don’t know if any of those have a free version. I’ve been with Hootsuite for years. And again, it changed but it’s still a free option. And my dream My dream is to not have to do so much social media, because I don’t like it. It’s just overwhelming and why the majority of posts are really great. Some are pretty awful. So I did a thing on Don’t be a social keyboard warrior. So please think about that. Also, and thinking about social media understand which networks work for you. I do really well. The podcast on YouTube, you know, with the changes coming to Facebook and like Twitter’s been kind of useless for me, I’m hoping I can get the strength to get off Twitter, Instagrams kind of hybrid for me because I like to post a ton of pictures of the cats. And that’s more fun for me and less about business and more focus kind of on coaching tips. You have to really understand where am I successful. So for something like Hootsuite, I’m like, okay, that I’m having a post there, so I’m not gonna worry about it. And I put my time and effort into the podcast and YouTube, because that’s where I see the most benefit. And then you’re also going to want to figure out what type of content you want to share. You know, do you want to do brand awareness? Do you want to promote events, the 8020 rule is good here, meaning like don’t promote your stuff all the time. Do that 20% and then post interesting things or facts or whatever has to relate to your business. Don’t make it all about you the advantage of using some Like Hootsuite is it allows you to schedule your posts. And you can block out time every week and say, Okay, I’m going to spend an hour working on social media. So again, you don’t get sucked down that drain of, Oh, just check out and see what other people are doing. It allows you to put a limit on social media. I’d also say, block out some time, and it usually doesn’t have to be a lot or you answer your social media. But don’t get like l knee jerk reaction. I’m going to respond as soon as someone posts something. As a small business owner, I don’t time for that. Unless you’re a big corporation, you have someone who’s on social media 24 seven, you won’t be able to do that. And then I would just say, be genuine, be honest. just respond from yourself. And don’t do these automated posts. I see a lot of the big companies that just you can tell don’t even read the posts are just copying and pasting. And that doesn’t help you out as well. block out the time to have fewer distractions on social media, but consider Something like a scheduling software. So again, you don’t get caught up and you’re going crazy having to do all of those social media posts. take actions. Keep track of how much time you spend on social media. Observe your feelings before and after you spend time on social media.
Do you notice a difference? Make a list of what you’ll gain when you take a break from social media. Pay attention and see if being on social media brings up negative feelings such as jealousy or depression. Create a plan to reduce the amount of time you spend on social media. Consider using something like Hootsuite if you need to be on social media. On our next episode, we’re talking about loving your unlovable self. Though out clear the clutter to create the life you choose, deserve and desire. Are you ready to live a more joyful and fulfilling life. Sign up for our newsletter at reawaken your brilliance calm and receive a free copy of 10 steps to clearing the clutter inside and out. If you enjoyed today’s episode, I would love it if you would rate and review the show because it really helps us in the search ranking. See you next Tuesday at one o’clock. Remember, when you clear your clutter, you can create the life you desire.
Self love social media.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai