Self Doubt: Slaying this Beast and Staying the Course
Self Doubt Destroyer: How to Keep On Moving Forward
Not believing in yourself can prevent you from sharing your gifts with the world. Learn how to slay the doubt you may have about yourself.
- Determine if self doubt has had a negative impact on your mental or physical health
- Examine why you have self doubt
- List all of your past achievements
- Visualize your goals
- Do small steps daily
- Be aware of your mindset
- Share your dreams with people who support you
- Check in to make sure you’re really motivated to do what you’re doing
- Encourage others to believe in themselves.
Julie Coraccio 0:01
Today on clear your clutter inside and out. We’re talking about believing in yourself. Have you stopped pursuing a dream because you didn’t think you could do it? have comments from others made you question whether or not you can achieve something? Are you ready to throw out your doubt and share your gifts with the world? Learn how to kick out to the curb as we continue our month focusing on clarity. Do you control your clutter? Or does your clutter control you? unclear your clutter inside now. We’ll teach you awareness as well as action steps to create change in your life. Come on. Let’s get started. Today’s episode was inspired about my journey in self publishing, I trust in divine timing. And through this process, I really felt like giving up at times. I was just clearing some email this morning. I was trying to find something. No, if you have a Mac, and you upgrade to not Sierra, I don’t know what it is Catalina you can lose programs like apparently my Microsoft bundle was a 32 bit and now they won’t take anything under 64 so just a heads up you just sometimes can’t immediately upload So anyway, it was a three day journey. I lost some computer programs and was trying to find the receipt for one so I can get the upgraded needed and not have to pay for it anyhow. So I’m looking through emails, and I realized I had started I thought had been two years actually started on the books four years ago. I had found a email on email from 2015 when I had sent the beginning of the book draft to someone, I was like, Holy moly, I can’t believe that I started it that long ago. And so I’d obviously been percolating on these books for a while. When I think about it, first, I trust in divine timing. If I’m honest, I think that my hesitation came from putting myself out on a bigger market. now have the books on my website, that Amazon I mean, I do the podcast, I’m on YouTube. And if people are looking for me, they’re going to find me and again, same with Amazon. But Amazon exposes me to a bigger market. I’m very fortunate that you all who listen and share your comments, you all are awesome. But sometimes people are downright mean. The majority of time I don’t take it personally. But guess what? I’m still human. I’m a human being happy. A spiritual experience and if I wouldn’t do it to someone else, I would hope that I would get the same consideration but again, I have no control over everyone the majority of comments and feedback I receive are really good. And I can’t remember if I shared this on the first episode, but for instance I had someone just attacked me on youtube just how much how awful I was and blah blah blah blah blah. And they did it as like hey, it’s organized 1234 this is what you should have not and I responded and you know ultimately feel sorry for them because it went completely over their head because I was like, well please share your podcast or your video and show me how it’s done. I said in a way or give me an example of video and and they were upset with my mantra said I didn’t announce correctly and I should practice it. I did. I would listen. Someone got upset when I did the one on the Japanese art. N am I even tried it begins with an online we try to pronounce it because it’s Before I found that I went, you can find Google sounds like I hear it again and again again for pronounce it. And they just were crappy. And you know, I’m not a fan of keyboard warriors who do that. And so my whole point with this is so now getting books on Amazon and other places, puts me in front of a bigger crowd, people are going to be anonymous. And I take reviews with a grain of salt, like I know when I’m looking and deciding whether to purchase things. And my brother told me, I remember years ago, he’s in marketing. And he said, Here’s how you can tell our review is fake. And I remember I was asked to review something. And I said to him, I said, I’m going to give you four stars. I said, I’d give you five stars. But reading your reviews, it looks like everyone only reviews you have or people that you gave the product to because you have to disclose that. Well,
you’re supposed to not everyone does that anyway, I said and if I was reading your reviews, I think if I was at a five star and my critiques are like I would offer in different colors, and one other one, but I said I think it Does yourself a disservice I get it in your business and trying to get out there and you have to compete with SEO. And if you have a company that has a huge marketing budget, then you can’t compete with that when they can spend millions of dollars using Google. I read somewhere recently that Marie condos, husband is a marketing genius. I think that he did Mark now you know, hats off to her. I really like her energy and she’s helped a lot of people and supported them. So I think that’s good. And back to the conclusion again, so I’m a little nervous, okay, you’re putting yourself on Amazon. They’re going to be more people out there. And so I think that that was a hesitation. I really No, I’m good writer, I believe in my skills, and I also stink at grammar. I also am just, I’m consistent, though, guys. I’ve been bad at grammar since childhood. And all the comments were when I I won one award in college. It was for creative writing. And he was awesome. He was an old school professor. But he’s like, yeah, your grammar grammatically challenged. So anyway, at least I’m consistent. One of the things I’ve committed to is I will read every response on Amazon and respond. But if someone’s really critical, especially if it’s someone who hasn’t purchased the book, because you see that quite often I’m going to call them out because I don’t want other people who would like to write a book and haven’t because they’re afraid of the criticism. I’ve committed to that because if you have a book, or a sculpture or painting, get out there, there are going to be people that criticize you. But stay the course. This was also inspired because I reached out to an alum, I went to a small women’s college I graduated with less people in college and I didn’t High School, and if anyone from my school contacts me, I always respond, because I just think that one is a courtesy and two, because we’re alone on Sunday, it was kind of disappointing. Even if she would have said this is the dumbest idea ever. I would have preferred that than radio silence and that I had to buckle down so Okay, and then I could have spent a lot more time sending out my More query letters. And I thought, You know what? I had a potential connection here. I’m willing to try it. But that just encouraged me again, you know what I’m going to self publish? Because that was two years ago when I wrote that. So how do you keep going? When you maybe have a long project like this, or the dream seems not achievable, because maybe someone’s planted something in your head. I’ll never forget. When I was living in Los Angeles, I first moved there and got a facial Don, and the woman was telling me I want to be an actress. But when I moved here, early on, someone told me I wasn’t pretty enough or talented enough. And she believed that she held on to that and so she deferred her dream she put pursuing acting. And I hope that you never allow someone to do that. It’s hard. It is hard. I was really fortunate. I’m just going to share this the story of my father’s I turn and look, I have it framed up here in my office to remind me, I was living in Los Angeles, I took a screenwriting course And the guy said, this script needs work, but you have real potential. And you can work one on one with me as a professor at UCLA. The cost is five grand. Okay, so this is 2025 years ago. So yeah, you know, inflation. You guys are smarter than me what 10,000 maybe even no Who knows? big chunk of change. So I shared this with my father, my father had said, This is my savings. I want you to pursue your dream, and I believe in you. And he was willing to write me a check for $5,000. And I am very fortunate to have parents that believed in me, because not everyone is. Now we’re fortunate that my uncle had a connection with someone who’s a writer was like now, just don’t do it. And so I didn’t. And when I look back and think about things because that was a dream that didn’t happen. I really wanted to be a screenwriter had some interest, it never happened. And now I can say, I’m fulfilling that dream through this writing because I’m choosing to make a difference. In a world I want you to heal. I want you to reawaken your brilliance, I want you to share your gifts with the world. And I’m going to be able to do that and support people much better through these books and doing a screenplay. Now don’t get me wrong if a star says, hey, you’re awesome write me a screenplay. I would definitely take a shot at that. But I now understand that and why it didn’t work out I needed to leave Los Angeles and need to be in nature. I needed to come out here and meet Tony again, you know, again, with years and years perspectives. It’s just important to stay the course and to trust and all of that. And, and my hope is with today’s podcast, that it will allow you to keep moving forward that maybe perhaps reignite a passion and understand you’ve got what it takes.
How are you not believing in yourself? How is it showing up in your life because it can be in in different ways. I first want to talk about some of the negative. When you don’t believe in like self doubt, you think like, okay, it prevents you from doing that sculpture during that painting. But over time, self doubt can lead to anxiety and depression. And of course, we can have physical complications from that weight gain, high blood pressure, chronic fatigue, and increased mortality rates. I encourage you there was a great article. Since I had he did a self doubt article for Huffington Post. And how self doubt destroys the heart, mind, body and soul. It’s a really good article. encourage you to check it out. I want you to think about this for a second. How has self doubt affected you? negatively? Has it made you more anxious Maybe it’s made you distrustful of people. I’m afraid if I open myself up and it just doesn’t have to be about producing something, it can be about falling in love. If you have doubts about your ability to find a healthy relationship, if you have your doubts of being a good partner, then you might keep your heart closed. You might have that self doubt affect you in that way. I know that self doubt allowed me to drag my heels for a while. It’s mixed in with doing things like having a family and maintaining a business. It takes time to write it takes time to edit these aren’t things that you know can be done in five minutes, but self that was definitely in there. But the longer you have self doubt, the more it’s going to harm you. And and I really am a firm believer in the body mind connection. I know that traditional medicine is really acknowledging that more, and seeing how those things affect your the body mind connection. I know here in the area where I live Duke has a whole Integrative Medicine Department I think they’ve been around for for quite some time. And seeing how that self doubt can create the anxiousness can create the anxiety and how that affects you. If you have something, it’s like taking a little micro blade right every day and wearing at you in some way until it becomes a big issue. So I want you to take the time to examine and think how self doubt is affecting you on a body mind spirit level. Hopefully that will serve not only as motivation, but for you to say, Hey, you know what, this is important enough that if it’s affecting my health, it’s affecting my mind, my spirit that I need to address it. And again, we’re all gonna have have self doubt. I had self doubt there’s moments when I’m like, What am I doing this podcast for? Not as much because I’ve been doing it for quite some time now, but it’s definitely there with the book. No, my gosh, what if they hate me? What if they think I stink? But don’t take for years like I did. Own and discover how are you not believing in yourself and how is it showing up in your life? Why don’t you believe in yourself? uncertainty right again, like we’re creatures of habit. Most of us don’t like not knowing what’s gonna happen. I think that’s why there’s a fear of death in our culture and society because what happens when we die? Now I personally believe that everything’s energy so this physical body will crumble, that my spirit will move on, it’ll go forward. And I still have some anxiety over dying because what if I’m wrong? What if that’s it or just boom, done? Black fadeaway can be the same thing when putting your heart out there or taking the step of producing a work of art. You might be wondering, and it just isn’t with failure. Right? I mean, a lot of times I think we focus on oh my gosh, what if I fail, and everyone will think I’m a loser, and I put myself out there and you know all that, but it’s also true success. What if I succeed, and then maybe my marriage won’t make it? Maybe my relationship won’t make it. Maybe people will come out of the woodwork and all they want is money from me and Gosh, I don’t want to deal with all that. Right. So there’s uncertainty on both sides of the coin. What will happen? How will my life change? Will I be able to handle that? Is that something I really want?
Ask yourself, where are you uncertain? Where’s uncertainty causing doubt for you? You simply might not believe it’s true or possible. I was taught by a coach to ask myself what else is possible? You truly deep down might not believe it can happen. Like take screenwriting, for example. It’s a really competitive market. I had no contacts, which if you went to certain schools are no certain people. That definitely gets you a leg up. Now it’s become a little more kind of like Amazon allowing you to self publish. It’s kind of not even the playing field but it has allowed for people like me who maybe don’t know anyone to put their works out there. I know for instance with screenwriting there is there’s some kind of cool thing and they talk about the screenplays that didn’t make it that really awesome that maybe got optioned and made and here’s a little sidebar for you to remember. We have been watching we just ended Season Two of succession. It’s on HBO a highly recommended it is about a news person and His family in his lust for power and control and kind of just crazy family dynamics, you know, encourage you to say, Wow, my family might have some challenges, but it’s not as crazy as anyhow, the guy had written a script. And we’re like, man, the script is really good. And if I’m remembering the story correctly, didn’t get made well, okay, fast forward. Now he’s got this incredibly great show on TV. And if you are a writer, definitely check it out. Because the writing is outstanding. They have these come sometimes these singers are I just at the end last episode, this season that the man is expressing he I don’t want to even try to remember it. But the gist of it was, I’m trying to figure out if I’m more sad with you, or without you anyway, it was just such an eloquent sentence. So if you’re writing on credit, check it out. Okay, so it didn’t work out with this guy for the script. And I got this TV show, who just remember that when you have self doubt, because maybe his self doubt was like, Man They’re telling me it’s a good script. Why can it get made? I can’t this isn’t possible. So check in with yourself about that. Do you really believe it to be possible? Like I’m also about keeping it real? Am I ever going to be an Olympic basketball player No, never was in my reality. But I can be a pretty successful writer, author. So just keep it real on that. But know that it can happen, your dreams can come true. And then we have to work at them. That’s another part of the equation. It takes time to edit guys. And there were throughout the process again, we’ll have to give up. And I’m also fortunate that I have a great support team. I had Kati look at the first edit, which I’m telling you, oh my gosh, those of you that look at first drafts, hats off to you. But she believed in me, she believed in it and just said, Yeah, you just needed some massaging and suggestions. So keep it real. If it is something and you have the talents for examine, why don’t I believe it’s true possible, figure out how you can get through those obstacles. If I really wanted to be a screenwriter, I would have figured out a way. I really truly believe that. Just trust, you don’t trust the process. Not to me comes from a place of fear can say, You know what? They’re going to pick someone else anyway. So why am I going to bother? But that keeps you in your comfort zone, it keeps you prevents you from having to put yourself out there. And you’ve immediately doubted yourself because I think the bigger issue, it’s easier to say, Oh, you know, the screenwriting system is rigged. They would never pick me anyway, then to put yourself out there, right? Because then you’re not dealing directly with the self doubt you’re putting it out on someone else, right has nothing to do with you. It’s the phony process. So where are you just trusting and again, that goes into not only believing in yourself But trusting the process, okay, well, maybe if it didn’t work out with the script, then down the road, I got a TV show. And it’s critically acclaimed and pretty successful. So ended up working okay, might not have had that same success with the movie. And again, you know everything I think there’s timing to consider here. Like you have the great script, but maybe it’s 10 years earlier, I was reading about a movie. And they said, you know, when it came out, people were just like, Yeah, but 15 years later, 10 years down the road and be like, well, how this was a really good movie. So ask yourself, where are you distrustful? Where are you using that as an excuse as a defense? And that that’s how it’s manifesting your self doubt.
Fear, right? We’re either coming from love or fear. It’s a great book called feel the fear and do it anyway. So what are you afraid of? That you’ll be mocked. I’ve had people Say your voice stinks. I think maybe more than once. I’ve had people criticize the podcast. I’ve had people criticize the YouTube video, I’m trying to think what else people have been critical of. That’s no one’s job to please everyone. And remember, life is an inside job. But what are you afraid of? And then it’s manifest as self doubt, talked about fear succeeding or failure a little bit earlier. But what else might be going on with that? Be afraid you can’t handle the pressure. You don’t want to be deadline driven. What is it? I know that for a while, you know, I got married later in life. I wish that Tony and I would have met like maybe 20 years earlier, but I know I was always afraid that if I had any success that I couldn’t find a relationship where a guy would be okay and could handle any success I have and Tony’s a complete opposite And he’s like, yeah, I hope your book succeed. I will retire early. So he completely supports the process. all seriousness, there are some people, men and women. It’s not just a man thing that just wouldn’t want to see their partner succeed. So what are your fears? What is really driving the self doubt and again, I think when you really boil it down, you know, I talked about feeling good enough or worthy enough in love. And also it’s we’re either coming from fear or love. I fear I’m not good enough. If you’re I’m not worthy. I’m not lovable. So take some time. What is it you’re afraid of? your self doubt might come from a seed that someone else planted. I mentioned earlier in the podcast, the woman who did facials in LA someone told her as soon as she came there, you’ll never make it as an actress. They planted a seed in her head and it bloom fully. When I was in junior high, I had an art teacher who just was Basically, yeah, you’re not that good. So you know what, that’s one of the things that I’m committed to this year 2020. putting it out there is to paint more, I got some oil painting. And when I took a class has been forever, I’d like to find a local class to take, I’m actually kind of decent. But that see that that teacher planted in junior high, took a hold for 20 years, or 15, or whatever it was. So you have to ask yourself, whose voice is that? Is that my belief? Or is that someone else’s that decided to give me that unsolicited feedback? So be really aware of that because I think, especially when we’re kids, you can be an awesome parent, and someone else can plant a seed in your kid. There things over that you can always control and even if you say, you know what, ignore that person you know, it’s Kids don’t have the tools that we have as adults. So there are lots of things that can get planted to us in childhood. Know this Think about this for your child and if there’s a how you can support them and releasing that and it just may take some time talking with a friend the other night and, and with her daughter and she said, You know, I have to see the teenager she’s gonna have to figure something out on her own. I think there was a lot of truth to that she is a mother as much as she loves her wants to support her, the child was going to have to make a decision. Do I stay with this? Or do I release that move forward? And you know, sometimes you can’t do for someone else. But just be aware of that. And I think that that’s really important. Because family friends can say something relatives can say something. But examine is that your voice because maybe you’ve held on for years to this self doubt and it was from someone else. And maybe they’re they didn’t pursue their dream and so they want to make sure you I’m going to hold you back because I’d be really upset. If you Dream happen. And then this is something you got to check in with lack of conviction. Maybe you really don’t want to do something. Check in with that. On another podcast I mentioned a man who became an attorney because that’s what his family wanted. Maybe you’re in a family of artists and you really want to be an accountant. You just don’t maybe even your talents but you’re like, you know what?
painting is not my thing. Numbers are my passion. That’s what make getting excited is I see it as a puzzle and want to figure it out. So check in Is it your dream? Is your self doubt? I don’t want to use the word justify because that doesn’t feel right. But is your self doubt really being useful here saying I just don’t have the drive to do it is you know, think about my, the guy that I knew. spent years studying how to preach Last thing in college and went to law school and practice law and didn’t want to do it that’s years of life to really check in with yourself. Is this my dream? Is this what I want to do? Or am I doing it for someone else? Or am I doing it because someone said hey, you’re good enough you should do this. feel stuck, but have no clue what you need to do to move forward. Would you like to feel energized and excited every day? Are you ready to create the life you desire? Julie’s crotches support you in finding the answers within and then taking action to make changes happen. Visit reawaken your brilliance calm to learn how Julie can support you with life coaching. How to believe in yourself right? Easier said than done. First believe it’s possible. You You hear those stories like Los Angeles, I live there for a decade, people can come without knowing anyone and just things fall into place. And it can’t You can’t be an Academy Award winning actor or actress or screenwriter or director believe it is possible. Believe it with every fiber and soul of your being and that’s a great place to start. I can’t believe that I’m successful as a self publisher was the I never read it the 50 Shades of Grey, I think she’s probably a multimillionaire and they did movies and all that. I haven’t read it. I quite frankly heard the writings really terrible. And what I say to that when people complain, I’m like, Okay, first of all, check in Are you jealous? And what I said is she fulfilled a need. There was something out there that women think mainly women read this. We’re longing for and she fulfilled that need. She did it all. on her own and she, to me is someone to be admired because they you know what? She did it so can I. So begin by believing it’s possible. So if you don’t think it’s possible, then it’s not be brave, create some thick skin, put yourself out there. You know what the reality is with social media and how it is today. And that’s one again one of the reasons I’m, I’m going to try this year to post something positive on Facebook, whether it’s a video or one of my little kind of thoughts, because I think it’s so needed I have I have definitely step back from it because it’s just been frustrating and maddening, but it’s also made me sad. Seeing how vicious and stinky people can be for me, because again, you open yourself up to criticism and 95% A time I’m pretty down with it and can handle it the 5% You know, it really hurts. For me, what helped me be brave was my desire to support people and help them clear their clutter outweighs the keyboard warriors. Because Yeah, people gonna be like, I’m sure write me one star, this sucks. But they’re going to be in the minority, the people that supports are going to be overwhelmingly in the majority. And even if it’s just one person that I support through the books that outweighed because that makes a difference. And that person clears their clutter and shares their gifts and moves forward. Then they allow other people to do it. So it’s not just it’s this ripple effect, right, like skipping the stones on the pond. For me, that’s how it allowed me to be brave. And maybe for you, your inspiration to be brave is to simply inspire others. It is to, maybe you believe whatever you do will open someone’s heart or mind. Now there are different ways that you can support yourself and being brave. But what’s my motivation here? How can I be brave? And you know what it’s like anything in life because I’m sure there are. I read this guy and I really like him Harlan Coben, and he writes,
I guess I’d call them psychological thrillers. And so I think I’ve read, I have to double check and guys written like 15 or 17 books, and I think I’ve read just about everyone. And one that I found was in a paperback kind of beat up at the library. And he was like, Look, he was republished, I think he needs to write this introduction, says, You know what, this was my first book out and, you know, don’t criticize it too harshly. And I thought, wow, that’s brave. Because I mean, he’s really I think I’ve read I think I thought wow, to like 15 out of 17 books and thought the other too, okay, well, you’re batting pretty well with me. As far as I’m concerned. I think that’s an awesome track record. But how brave of him to do that. And again, he’s well known. He’s got an audience and does movies and books and to be like, you know what, this was my first work, but I’m still I’m going to reissue it or put it out there again. To me, that’s pretty awesome. So he was brave in that way. Make a list of everything you’ve achieved. And don’t leave anything out of that. I want you to think we’re home. I have been an awesome pet mom, right. That’s an achievement. The cats get their litter boxes cleaned twice a day, they get their vet appointments, they’re fed. They actually rule me. Let’s just keep it real. I have opened my own business and run it for 10 years. That’s a pretty big accomplishment. I have a successful marriage that’s really important to me. I have good relationships with my relatives. Lots of things that I’ve done. On a good person in general, I try to always do right by people. Do I succeed all the time? No. But I’ve accomplished a lot. To me, it’s an accomplishment if you smile at someone and make their day, its accomplishment to and our contest even if I don’t win, I took that chance and put it out there. So I want you to write all the awesome things that you’ve done because I know each and every one of you listening or watching have achieved something. And if you’re feeling stuck, then ask someone that you love and trust. Hey, help me come up with this list. And then I want you to put the list where you can see it. Like for instance, my list would be in my computer. For you. It might be in your bedroom. It might be on your bathroom mirror, but I want you to remind you know what? I did do this. push past your discomfort, right. I used to always be a behind the scenes person. And then when I did reawaken your brilliance Internet TV show, and I’ll never forget, I can still feel how and I probably had maybe 25 or 30 tuned in and her member, my producers, like that’s really good. He was like I was expecting zero. And I was like, oh, okay, and that’s, you know, 25 or 30 more than we are. So anyway, so nervous, because even though it was in a studio, and I’m just Skyping with the person and I’ve got the producer next to me, I’m in front of the camera. I was always behind the camera, so I had to push past that discomfort. I used to be terrified, and I’m not exaggerating, of public speaking. I remember having to do my first 30 seconds for my commercial laughter You see them people who could go on for an hour and be comfortable. Remember taking about saying my name and the name my business and then the women encouraged me keep on going, you can do this, you got this. So I had to push past that discomfort and that false belief that I couldn’t sleep publicly or I wasn’t a good public speaker, that self doubt well that I created that self doubt. But that wasn’t true. It wasn’t true. I can put my face out there. I haven’t I’ve been successful doing it. So push past any discomfort. Because then you might discover the gifts I would have never done the podcast. If I hadn’t have done the TV show. I would have never created books had I not done the podcast. So all these things. All these building blocks are layers that are going to support you in one way or the other. Visualize. Visualize, creating that sculpture in your mind. Visualize a happy, successful relationship. Visualize doing that painting. Just take a few minutes every day. I like to when I wake up, visualize the day going smoothly if I don’t have something I’m really concentrating on. I see getting the work done. I see spending Time with a cat’s eye See, if a challenge comes up fixing the solution easily. Remember, everything’s energy so you’re setting the stage. So visualize your self doubt maybe as a big marshmallow puff man and you taking a sword and saying big on self doubt and slashing the big marshmallow Muffin Man.
Visualize you handling the challenges and get in the habit of doing that. I’d like to try an experiment. spend a week 10 days if you can do it, visualizing each morning maybe is destroying your doubt. Maybe it’s about how your day goes. Maybe is about committing to writing 10 minutes a day, whatever it is, do something visualize so I can do for at least a week. And then I want you to do it not for a week and take notes because then we have quote unquote proof How did your weeks go differently? Did you notice something that things go more smoothly? Did you write more? Was life in general just better? and see for yourself the difference visualize and can make. Be very aware of your thoughts. I know you know this that we can get on autopilot. We have the subconscious thoughts like I couldn’t have told you that the art teacher planted that seed and I held on for it for so long. I didn’t realize it until I you know, 20 years later. And I had to push through the fear of taking an art class, because I was like, Well, what if I suck? But if people are like, Good Lord, you’re the worst person to and it was an adult ed class was in Boston when I was a nanny. But if you are like you’re the worst person that ever try painting in the history of mankind. I had held on to that seed that I wasn’t good enough. And that had created my doubt. So it was subconscious. I wasn’t even aware of it. When you do your inner work when you do your healing, that allow stuff to come up to be healed, and you say, Whoa, that’s not true. That wasn’t my belief. To be very aware, what are you thinking and take time, out of your day? Just stop. What am I thinking now? I mean, it’s crazy the amount of thoughts and number of thoughts that we have each day. So if you become more aware of that and checking in and digging and saying like, oh, or when you find yourself creeping up, okay, let’s stop. Let’s take a couple deep breaths. I like to do something where kind of a guided meditation I find that you’re really let’s have a dialogue of what I’m thinking when I’m feeling what I’m believing. Where’s that coming from? to kind of get into a meditative, meditative state? What are my thoughts? Then how can I change that? Can I blow it up? I like to put in rows and blow them up because a rose is a universal symbol love, and then it’s just energy that dissipates and can go back to doing whatever needs energy somewhere. Surround yourself with positive people again, I believe and people that keep it real. My mom I laugh at changed on Facebook changed my little thing and I hadn’t gotten the books out and she’s like, I’m so proud of you because I know you’ve worked so hard. And God loved my mother, my uncle, they’re my grammar groomers. Who are you surrounding yourself with? You want people that believe in you and support you and tell it to you like it is? And I think that that’s really important if you have people that are pollyannish or sycophants that I think of, you know, I’m a Steelers fan. Antonio Brown. I don’t know if he’s mentally ill, but he has surrounded himself with people who are feeding his ego. And he ultimately all comes down to him. He’s making his choices. But I don’t believe he surrounded himself with the people who would could still support him and say, Man, I love you, but you need some help. Have you considered talking to someone or you know what you’ve got to scrape off? Or do you really want to think through this and what you’re going to do? So positive people who are also real. Examine who you’re hanging out with? Are they supportive of your dreams or not? act like it’s already happened. Visualize walking into a bookstore and seeing your title on the shelf. Visualize holding hands with that romantic interest. Visualize sitting in your dream home. Visualize creating your makeup line. act as if it’s already happened. So when I first started my business, I won a Napa Los Angeles did awards and I’ve since then a couple years left neiko wasn’t just wasn’t the organization for me, I was disheartened by some things. And I thought, you know what, let me do my own thing.
People are like, there’s no way you’re gonna win, because I was up against it was for the Eco organizing award and how they did it, anyone can vote to for instance, my parents voted for me, it just didn’t have to be within the organizing world. And I’d worked really hard. I’ve done a lot of good things and that you’re also on a regional award for the triangle area where I live and it was a big deal because when you looked at the winners, like they had winners and I can’t rush like an honorable mention or something, I can actually see the award from here, but it was a big deal. The other no one had a business anything like mine. So they obviously had recognized as a small business owner and the contribution I was making anyway, I would walk around the house and I do my own voice. I am ego organizing winner. do that a couple times. And then I wouldn’t, you know, I’d forget it. But I did it daily. And I ended up winning. And I remember my father saying to me, he said, Wow, he said, I have to admit, I just didn’t think you’d win because you know, you weren’t in LA anymore, and you’re not as well known as the other people. But that was part of my routine. I acted like it already happened. So how can you act like it happen? And when that self doubt comes up, I am the CO organizing when pushed away by self doubt, see, wouldn’t want to be. So how can you act like it’s happen? Get outside yourself, right? That’s when you can become neutral. That’s probably another better way to phrase it. Let me look back as if I were talking to a friend or maybe I’m in the role of therapist and asking questions. What’s going on here? How can I examine my self doubt, from a non judgmental, a neutral point of view? And let me ask myself these questions. What do I discover when I do this? Because myself, I’ve got the ego, right? Because it’s really about the ego, your souls, got it going on your soul knows what to do, and how to make it happen. Your ego, let’s have a conversation. What can I learn from my ego? What is my self doubt really coming from and I’ll just throw this out here and might be a little too woo for some of you. But maybe it’s for something related to a past life. You know, that you’ve carried into this lifetime. I’ve had enough crazy things to happen that I believe personally believe in that now might be out there for others. But then if that doesn’t ring true to you, how can you become a neutral non judgmental party and have a contract With your ego and find out what’s going on around what you need ego, ah, you need reassurance that everything’s gonna be okay. You need reassurance that you’re still going to have a role to play when I’m completely in the zone and in touch with myself okay, we can work with that. Hey ego you are super useful because you keep me going you keep me on deadlines, you help me do my to do list of course you’ll still have a role ego, it’s okay. take actions. Small stat steps add up. If you spend 10 minutes daily on something that’s just over 60 hours, you’re locked on 60 hours you devote 20 minutes, you’re gonna have over 120 hours you can really do a lot with daily action again. daily action helps keep you on the path and so if you’re self doubt, saying You know what, you’re never going to succeed in an artist and you spend 10 minutes daily taking action and painting or sketching. That saying to yourself that, Ah, look, I’m here doing it, I’m doing the work. And that again, when you have a conversation, or you visualize or whatever, instead of self doubt, being that huge mountain, it’s like taking that little microfiber blade and just step by step, wearing down that self doubt. And I’m telling you, even people who you think, oh, they never have doubt they do. Even those are who are super successful, but they probably spent years doing it. They got someone like Michael Jordan, who was cut from his junior high basketball team. Now I used to watch I love Larry Bird and Magic Johnson and that rivalry and MJ is really alast that I’ve watched a basketball.
But this guy was cut from his junior high team and probably one of the most successful basketball players of all time talk about having to overcome doubt. I mean, come on Junior High just stinks, right? Talk about probably your worst years of adolescence, he overcame that to be one of the most successful players of all time. So if you ever think, Oh, I can overcome this doubt, I want you to think of Michael Jordan, or find someone else that inspires you. Every day, take some type of action. And again, you know, go with the flow, take breaks as you need it. But maybe if you’re like, Ah, you know, and I get it, like the creative process, you know, looking back and like, Oh, good, gosh, Gigi, sorry. That’s what my nieces and nephew call me that just came out and say, okay, maybe I need a week or two off of writing, but then I’m gonna make up for it. And again, the creative process can be very when you need breaks, and so part of it over the years was taking breaks, obviously, but take small actions every single day. Remember, you are good. Enough, you are worthy enough, and you are loved. And if you think that that’s not true, and maybe you’re in a really challenging place in life right now think that’s not true. I have no friends. I have no family. I think you’re good enough. I think you’re worried enough and I love you. Please don’t forget that. I know at times that we can be in dark spaces and I think we’re in such a divisive time in history right now know that that’s not true because I believe in you. I believe you can do that. And if you have to listen to this 5000 time to really believe you’re in your soul and then I’m sincere do it. And when you remember that yourself that’s gonna hit the highway. And then finally, share the love. Thank people who have helped you overcome your doubt when the gratitude of the book that I did so I think obviously, Tony, the cats my parents, but There were other people along the way that helped me that I wanted to tank book that took more effort to write I thanked two teachers from junior high, who believed in me, I think a high school teacher who because when I went to college, I felt like, I don’t know if I was prepared enough, I was prepared to write a paper. Thanks to my high school teacher. That was one area I definitely had confidence in. And then a college professor, I think. So share the love, share people who supported you, and helped you and believed in you along the way and helps you conquer your self doubt. And not only through gratitude and thanking those people, but how can you encourage someone else I had mentioned at the beginning of the podcast, if people criticize me and again, like I am completely open to constructive criticism, but if it’s someone who hasn’t purchased the book and said, It stinks, I’m gonna flat out say, you know, I’m going to address this especially for those of you that might have a book you Want to publish or something you want to share with the world? Don’t let people like this get you down because I think that’s so important to encourage others. So when you’ve accomplished what you had doubts about how can you encourage someone else to do it? Take action from today’s podcast. Determine if self doubt has a negative impact on your mental, physical, emotional or spiritual health. examine why you have self doubt. list all of your past achievements and place it where you can see it daily. visualize your goals. do small steps daily towards your dreams. Be aware of your mindset. Share your dreams with people People who support you check in to make sure you’re really motivated to do what you’re doing. thank those who have helped you slow yourself down. in cursive encourage others to believe in themselves. Next month, we’re talking about the oneness. Go out, clear your clutter to create the life you choose deserve and desire. When you clear your clutter, you can share your gifts with the world. Sign up for our free newsletter at reawaken your brilliance calm. If you’ve enjoyed clear your clutter inside now, please rate review and share us
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
Certified life coach, author & award-winning professional life organizer Julie Coraccio shares steps and tips to support you in creating the life you choose, deserve and desire through decluttering your life, end of life planning, mindfulness and how to organize your life.
About Clear Your Clutter Inside & Out
Clutter is stuck stagnant energy and prevents you from creating the life you choose, desire and deserve. We discuss clutter in all its forms: energetic, spiritual, emotional, mental & physical, relationships, health, finances and more. We share tips and take action steps for clutter free living and how to organize your life and death with end of life planning. We’re thinking outside the box on areas where people might not realize where clutter is blocking them. When we remove clutter from our lives we can discover our passions, lead the extraordinary lives we are all meant to live and share our gifts with the world.
DIY Options to Clear Clutter
Purchase Julie’s books on how to clear clutter from your life: https://www.amazon.com/Julie-Coraccio/e/B07JGGL7ZL/ref=ntt_dp_epwbk_0
Subscribe to Clear Your Clutter Inside & Out Podcast https://reawakenyourbrilliance.com/resources-concierge-services/podcasts/self-help-podcast/
Check out more of my decluttering tips and how to get organized on my YouTube channel. https://www.youtube.com/user/SeibertRadio?feature=watch