Relationship Closure: Clearing Your Relationship Clutter, Part 2
Where do you need to have some relationship closure?
If you haven’t already, check out part 1 of my blog on relationship closure.
After doing some of the exercises in the first part of the blog, take your awareness to a deeper level. Why have you held on? Why can you not let this relationship go? What role have you played in the relationship? Most of the time we like to play he victim and never see how we contributed to a less than ideal relationship. Have you been playing the victim? What has that given you? Do the best you can and be open to exploring. Perhaps be open to working with a professional.
Honor whatever you are feeling. I cried like an animal for 20 minutes when I knew a relationship was truly over. After that, I knew I was done. I felt an immediate peace. And I have nothing but gratitude for this man and our time together. He gave me some gifts that allowed me to be open to meeting my husband.
It might be getting rid of his favorite outfit, a painting she did for you (when I ended a relationship with a friend when I was living in LA I gave a painting she did to a co-worker. I loved that painting, but I loved being rid of her and her energy more. Maybe it is unfriending someone on Facebook. If there is drama, use the unfollow button.
If you are not letting go, do some digging.
Perhaps you would like to have a conversation for closure. I am purposefully not using the word NEED here. Closure is something you do for yourself, you don’t need another to accomplish this.
This is an option, but I encourage out you have ZERO expectations. I cannot emphasize this enough. Expecting someone else to give you what you are looking for is a recipe for disaster. You need to figure out how to get closure by and for yourself. Again, maybe no action needs to happen. I cried and after that got rid of a few remaining mementos I had from our time together.
What practice could you do to celebrate your closure on a relationship? I have heard of divorce parties, but you could also do a ceremony to honor what you learned from the person and the relationship. I Mentioned earlier I bear no ill will towards an ex and have gratitude because of what he allowed me to be open to. Could you celebrate that in some way?
Maybe you go to a restaurant you used to frequent and have one last meal and offer the person a toast. Bring joy into the ceremony because when you release what no longer serves you, you can bring in what you desire.
Takeaways for clearing relationship clutter:
- If you are unsure, of what relationship clutter you would like to get closure on, ask yourself some questions. Is there anyone you are holding a grudge against? When you hear a persons name or see them, do you get upset or angry? Is there someone who wronged you that has passed that you feel won’t allow you closure?
- Just because someone has passed, doesn’t mean that people do or easily release grudges. Even if someone isn’t here in physical form, you can still get closure. It might take some more work and maybe some creativity, but it can be done.
- It is an option to have a conversation for closure. If you do go this route, have zero expectations. Closure is something you do for yourself; you don’t need another to accomplish this.
What relationship closure will you seek? What steps will you take to have a healthy relationship for 2020? Sign up for our newsletter to receive quarterly tips to declutter your life.
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