Positive Self Talk: How Do You Talk to Yourself?
Got Positive Self Talk?
How do you talk to yourself? Are you even aware of what you are telling yourself? Is your self-talk kind… until you make a mistake? Learn tips change the way you speak to yourself and get positive self talk.
- Become aware of how you talk to yourself. Is it loving and encouraging or harsh and critical?
- Create affirmations you can say daily.
- Visualize achieving your dreams and goals.
- Examine your relationships. What steps can you take if you have negative relationships
- Focus on the good stuff.
- Keep at it!
Certified life coach, author & award-winning professional life organizer Julie Coraccio shares steps and tips to support you in creating the life you choose, deserve and desire through decluttering your life, mindfulness and how to organize your life.
About Clearing the Clutter Inside & Out
Clutter is stuck stagnant energy and prevents you from creating the life you choose, desire and deserve. We discuss clutter in all its forms: energetic, spiritual, emotional, mental & physical, relationships, health, finances and more. We share tips and take action steps for clutter free living and how to organize your life. We’re thinking outside the box on areas where people might not realize where clutter is blocking them. When we remove clutter from our lives we can discover our passions, lead the extraordinary lives we are all meant to live and share our gifts with the world.
TRANSCRIPT SELF TALK
Positive Self Talk
Julie Coraccio 0:00
Today on clearing the clutter inside and out, we’re talking about self talk. How do you talk to yourself? Are you even aware of what you are telling yourself? Is your self talk kind? until you make a mistake? Learn tips to change the way you speak to yourself as we begin our month focusing on love.
Are you ready to clear your clutter and share your gifts with the world? I teach you how to navigate the waters to declutter your life, get organized and become more mindful. Every episode I’ll give you take action steps that you can easily apply to your life. Come on, let’s get started.
Today’s episode was inspired Because I used to speak really horribly to myself, I would break myself when I would make a mistake. Like when I was learning Excel, and I would get angry. If it was my friend who was just learning something, I would never talk to her like that. So why would I be so unkind to myself? It’s also important because I was saying these awful things out loud. We have thousands of thoughts a day, and most likely the way we consciously talk to ourselves, is the way we unconsciously talk to ourselves. I chose with a lot of practice, and I’m still a work in progress, to be my own best friend, instead of my own worst enemy. For most of us, the pattern of self talk we’ve developed is negative. One more kids we soak up stuff like sponges, and most of us are probably Probably clinging on to the not so great things we were told by our parents, siblings or teachers. I can still tell you about the main parent who yelled at me in fourth grade. And all the unkind teachers had an art teacher who basically said I sucked. My mom discovered in her 50s she was a really good painter. In my 20s, I took a painting class at an adult ed school and discovered I’m pretty decent. Maybe when I retire, I’ll discover real talent. The art teacher sure put the kibosh on it very early though. badly. We also remember the negative reactions from other children that diminished how we felt about ourselves. I was dumped by friends when transitioning to junior high from elementary school. I have to include On a side note, my father big Jay once said to me, it was one of the best things that ever happened to me. Because it forced me to make new friends. And the people that dumped me weren’t kind people. And ultimately, I knew that that wasn’t who I wanted to hang out with. That’s a great example of finding the golden nugget. If we haven’t cut the cord, or resolve these messages, they’ve played subconsciously and consciously, over and over and over in our minds, adding to feelings of anger, fear, guilt, and hopelessness. I want to be very clear about something. Talking kindly to yourself is not lying to yourself. positive self talk is about recognizing the truth in situations and in yourself. How to create positive self talk. I know I sound like a broken record, but the first thing is awareness. How can you take action if you don’t know what you need to change? A common negative talk involves telling yourself, I can’t. One of the things that my brother does, which I think is awesome, is he does not let my nieces or my nephew say they can’t. When you say to yourself, I can’t, or it’s too difficult. You create resistance. Carl Jung said it best. What you resist persists. This thought can prevent you from achieving what you would like to do. Think about what my art teacher told me early on. I couldn’t be an artist because I sucked. I thought I couldn’t. And for many years, I didn’t try. Anytime you catch yourself saying I can’t turn around and challenge your own claim with Why can I What else is possible? When I was doing research, I had to laugh because someone else wrote about saying, cancel, cancel whenever they said something that wasn’t positive. I view it as telling the universe to cancel that thought. Because what we put out there we get back. Hats off to my friend Jeff who taught me this. Every time I see Jeff, I have a chuckle and say cancel, cancel. There are times when we are challenged and our negative self talk can really take a downward spiral. What about when something bad happens? Because let’s face it, it happens to all of us. I know of no one whose escape challenge or negative things happening to them in life. First, when the little setbacks of life happen, don’t turn a molehill
into a mountain. Say it is a pain in the butt. For a first world problem is one of my friends likes to post on Facebook and then move forward. For example, it’s flu season right now. If you get the flu don’t complain, I always get sick. Remember where the attention goes the energy flows. Say, it’s flu season, lots of people are getting sick. What action can I take to shorten the flu or take care of myself? What about when good things happen? Do you acknowledge your hard work? Or do you chalk it up to luck? internalize that success with some praise. He thinks I’m beautiful. Has he had his vision checked recently? Instead, I hope he asked me out because I think he is handsome. Sometimes in social situations, we can become self deprecating. I used to do this a lot. So deprecation is not an attractive quality as my self esteem improved, so did my comfort in social situations. I used to say this a lot. I am not a fan of parties because I get so uncomfortable. I can turn it around with. I did feel a bit shy and awkward, but I met a potential client.
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positive affirmations I have started doing positive affirmations again. After listening to some Tony Robbins, I try and say out loud and while I’m exercising, you are working on your subconscious mind when you say affirmations and allowing you the possibility to change your thoughts. Say your affirmations daily. Preferably repeatedly, I do an exercising and driving. Say it with feeling and emotions. Here are some affirmations that may work for you. Every day in every way I’m getting better and better. I am enough. I am worthy. I am loved. I am capable. I choose to be present and all that I do. I am coming confident. I always observe before reacting. Each step is taking me to where I want to be. your self talk creates your reality. Wouldn’t you like new thoughts and habits to help you bring what you do want as opposed to what you don’t want? visualize. One thing I try and do is when I think of someone who annoys me or hurts me, is visualize something better. Create a story with a positive outcome. build on this story every day. It could be about a goal you’d like to achieve, finding a romantic relationship or making better food choices. When you start playing the script over and over. It’s like you’ve already achieved it. Who are you surrounding yourself with When we become like whom we hang out with who has a negative influence on you? Maybe you need to change friends. Don’t share your dreams with dream stealers. Instead, surround yourself with thoughts and actions from people who will empower you. Don’t have friends physically near you. search online, find your tribe. What can you do right now? If you find yourself becoming stuck, stop and say, What can I do right now. Change your internal talk from a future anxiety ridden one to one is more about the manageable present. You can’t control what will happen in the future. But you can take the necessary steps now that will build a better tomorrow. taking the necessary steps require you to focus your thoughts It’s an inner talk on now. confront your fears. Ask yourself, what am I afraid of? What can be the worst thing that can happen? Take a step by step approach and breaking down your fears, and see if there is any way around looking at things more positively. When you confront your fears, you will often realize that the worst case scenario is not as bad as you think. In fact, the benefits of change are worth the risk. Your inner talk begins to change this point. Those voices that most often it’s not our voice as I talked about earlier, write down some of your negative messages. Be as specific as you’re able to be and include anyone you remember saying or telling you something next counteract those negative messages with positive truce in your life. It may take a while. Ask a trusted friend if you’re struggling. For every negative message, there is a positive truth. You may have had a negative message the replays in your head every time you make a mistake. I learned that someone I knew from high school was told as a child over and over by her mother that she would never amount to anything. She is now a nurse practitioner on a flight crew meaning if there’s an emergency medical emergency and they need a flight crew to come in and evac someone out, she does that. She obviously overcame the negative message her mother told her.
If you do this when you make a mistake, and remember, all of us are going to make mistakes, override that message. Remember, you have a choice to do all of this I choose to accept and grow from my mistakes. Or, as I learned from my mistakes, I’m becoming a better person. Mistakes then can become opportunities to replace negative views of who you are with positive options. Focus on the good stuff. It is much easier to have a positive self talk if you focus on the good stuff in life, rather than all the bad stuff. life consists of ups and downs and the good times are forged to the bad. I had a therapist once say to me, it’s about learning to ride the waves, because we’re all going to have waves in our life. Can you navigate it on your surfboard? Or do you crash on the beach? Learn how to ride the waves. Choose to fill your mind with positive images and thoughts. Make it a conscious habit. Simply bring your mind back every time it goes astray. It’s thoughts. Be grateful for what you have presently. your self talk will also change to be in alignment with one of joy. Like when someone mean pops in my head, I bring it back to another thought. Keep at it, like anything. It takes time. You have to build those positive self talk muscles. They aren’t going to appear overnight. No, you can change your thoughts. Yes, you will have off days, but you get right back up on the saddle. take actions. Become aware of how you talk to yourself. Is it loving and encouraging or harsh and critical? Create affirmations you can say daily. Visualize achieving your dreams and goals. Examine your relationships What steps can you take if you have negative relationships? focus on the good stuff. keep on keeping on, you can do it. On our next episode we’re talking about receiving. Go out, clear the clutter to create the life you choose, deserve and desire. Are you ready to live a more joyful and fulfilling life? Sign up for our newsletter at reawaken your brilliance calm and receive a free copy of 10 steps to clearing the clutter inside and out. If you enjoyed today’s episode, I would love it if you would rate and review the show because it really helps us in the search ranking. See you next Tuesday at one o’clock. Remember, when you clear your clutter, you can create the life you desire.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai