Policing: It’s Not Your Job to Correct and Monitor the World
Policing: How is this Adding Clutter to your life?
I recently had a situation where I thought I should be policing. What I did instead was to examine how this was creating clutter for me and what wounds I needed to heal.
Finally, take actions so you can slow down policing the world:
- Examine where you police others
- Understand why you feel the need to get involved
- Ask if it’s a legal or moral obligation to get involved
- Look within to see what you can heal
- Take a deep breath
Julie Coraccio 0:01
Today on clear your clutter inside and out. We’re talking about not policing the world. Do you sometimes feel like you have to police people in real life? Or on social media? Are you unsure of when you should get involved? Does it frustrate you when you feel someone is getting away with something? learn why it’s not your job to police the world as we continue our month focusing on we are one.
do you control your clutter? Or does your clutter control you? unclear your clutter inside and out. We’ll teach you awareness as well as action steps to create change in your life. Come on. Let’s get started.
Today’s episode was inspired because someone asked asked me to remove a video on YouTube. Now, this was an interview I had done. And so I always try and I haven’t done it in a while and maybe I’ll do another month interviews. We’ll see it’s too early in the season for me to decide that and I do that one because the podcasts that I have is pretty popular and especially if people say to me I don’t get I don’t have numbers. People aren’t tuning in to listen then that’s my way to support someone you had me on your show, what can I do? So anyway, I and I talk at the beginning about why like the interview the person and so someone had asked me to remove the video on YouTube. Now, I get a an email from their quote unquote assistant and they’re claiming that he is a billionaire. Well, odds are that are pretty slim. And I’m going to keep it real that I think he’s running a con and so I did research and in case you’re wondering there over to Thousand billionaires in the world. He wasn’t listed. And then Kati who’s incredible that all this listing and she was like, these articles are self written and they have all these typos. And when you look at who owns the magazine, like this award was given, she did all this crazy research and then claiming to be out of the UK, but she said, it’s the websites not coming. They’re really amazing what you can do in an hour of research. And so I struggled with this because my reasoning was, I’m not interested in policing the world. But then I thought, you know, there are people like Bernie Madoff, they’re people who got all their money. Last right? They invested this guy. Now again, if you think you have an unrealistic return, there’s probably some a little bit of greed going on there that you deserve. So I really struggle with this because for me, it was a moral question. So I posted my women’s group and got a lot of great advice and kind of my reasoning was that I didn’t want if someone would do their due diligence and come across the interview, they might realize he’s a con again. My educated guess is that he is running a scam because he says he only works with super wealthy people. If there’s an article about a single mother that invested with them, which again, I don’t believe but just the thought of someone trying to get out of a hole or trying to do better in life and then be taken by con really bums me out. Ultimately, what happened was I made the video private, I refused to delete it. Because I thought if something ever happens, and they need something for court, then I have got that. And let’s just say that I sent an anonymous email to a regulatory agency in the country where they claim to be living. And after I did that, and what I did was I sent along all the research. This is what this person’s claimed. Although it was interesting on the site, they have like right away, it might be a scam if and they include a thing. I thought, How great is that? And, again, I don’t have things in other countries work. But I felt I had done my due diligence with that, because I felt a moral obligation. That what if I could have done this? In the big scheme of life, I believe we all make choices. We all said, Hey, I’m going to come to Earth at this time and I want to try this out and I want to learn these lessons and lessons that are stink and are painful or not fun. And if I were to lose all my money with a scam investor, I would be bombed out. Again, someone chooses to do that. Isn’t my job interfere? We’ll probably do a separate podcast on that. But because of those, because of that happening, and
and again, that was an intuitive thing, and it was all about how they approached me the assistant was really stinky and then they responded with well you know i have to see if I literally said I have to see if I have a moral obligation to the public and then they had their quote unquote lawyer contact me I’m like now come on like how that like from there it just anyway, it just wreaked of there’s no way this is real but again if you don’t know things you know I’m fortunate to have a good family fair amount of smart but that was really what inspired today’s episode because do I police the world or not? Where does my obligation begin and end? So what exactly am I talking about? In a nutshell, the need to police everything, and I have to say I was really proud of myself. Great cheers for fear song every buddy wants to move the world. Yes, I’m not gonna be winning any Grammys anytime soon. I just get excited when I can tie in an ad tune to the title. talked about at the beginning of the month, about the woman who was policing language. Is it her job to tell everyone that they’re wrong? How much do you need to police the world? Examine your life. Where have you done this? Or when? Are there certain people you tend to police? Like maybe that you people that you believe have a different view than you that’s wrong? Or maybe it’s people in your family, you think they don’t have good judgment. So it’s your responsibility to police their actions and how they respond and what they do. Where has this happened to you? Who tried to maybe police What are your beliefs? what you thought what you said? How did you feel? I’m betting it probably didn’t feel so good. You know, we want to be adults and take responsibility and not be told what to do. Least I do. I shared also I think in another episode, getting solar and the HOA, and this older woman was trying to police and not have solar happen without facts. And I was super proud of myself because I know myself well and I thought I had an edge to my voice and someone ended up emailing me the next day and say, Wow, you know, you should be on the board. You’re so articulate and sustained. And you got your point of view across and I was really impressed. And I’m thinking the entire time like, oh, is there an edge cuz I’m annoyed because it was crazy. At one point she said, Well, what if there’s A storm and the solar rep was there and she said, Well, there are protected up to golf sized hail. Well, if my solar panels panels are damaged, your roofs probably going to be damaged. I mean, they just became ridiculous. But I did not like being policed, able to center myself and stay calm. But it was not fun. So take some time. Where are you policing? Because really police’s kind of back control, isn’t it? Where do you feel the need to control? Where do you feel a moral obligation? Or that you’re the moral authority on something? Right, that’s kind of a interesting line to walk. And where have you had it done to you? How were you? How did you react in the moment? Would you have had to? Would you’ve tried to have a different outcome, be able to keep calm and cool like I was, or did you lose it? Why do we feel the need to please others? Right? Because we’re always driven by a need or desire or want. And very rarely do we do something out of the goodness of our heart. We’re moving towards there. I feel like as we’re getting they’re going through some of the sludge and muck right now. I feel that we’re getting there. Maybe you feel the need to please others because you have these high expectations of yourself of your importance of it’s your feeling like it’s a job or your responsibility to police people. I know the best language for humanity. So I will please everyone who uses you guys are other phrases that I deem incorrect.
Right? That’s not only a great expectation of yourself. It’s a feeling of superiority? Well, I know what’s best for others. So I must share my wisdom and bring them into the fold. feeling like you’re superior is not fun. They feel that way, you’re gonna be policing a lot, probably a lot of the time. Perhaps you’re people pleaser. I want everyone to like me. So I want to make sure no one is taken advantage of by this con man. So I’m going to make sure that I stop it before it starts. I want everyone to like me in the neighborhood. So I’m not going to install solar. And I will police others of the evils of solar. And I’m going to tell them what is wrong because that way, I’m saving the neighborhood. from shore disaster solar panels, I know it’s a little nutty. But truthfully, that’s kind of based on the comments where she was coming from. Or maybe police other because you fear you’ll get in some kind of trouble. Or if that doesn’t happen that someone else might see you less than my husband won’t see me as the Caped Crusader. If I remove this YouTube video, or if I don’t stand up to the injustice that I think this man is committing, he does not see me as a caped crusader at all those of you that listen to podcast or listen long time or watch, know that I write notes and then I kind of just say a little intention and for people to hear what they need to hear. And so these are just examples, probably somewhat obviously off the top of my head or like the person was solar. fear that our home values are going to get lowered if we allow so solar, and we’re going to be in trouble if we don’t get as much money for our homes. Actually, if you’re thinking about solar, I encourage you to do the research because that’s definitely not what the research says. And Fannie Mae just announced something about I believe is Fannie Mae. That’s one of the biggest loners in the country. So check that out. feel stuck, but have no clue what you need to do to move forward. Would you like to feel energized and excited every day? Are you ready to create the life you desire? Julie’s crotch to support you and finding the answers within and then taking action to make changes happen? Visit reawaken your brilliance calm to learn how Julie can support you with life coaching. A lot of times I think that the need to police comes from a very strong sense of what is right. And what is wrong. Very ethical. Once when I was living in Los Angeles, I don’t know what I was talking to about my Uncle Jim. And he said, You know, I’m not surprised you feel that way your parents are the two most ethical people I know. So it’s no surprise that you would respond in this way. I think for me, because I’ve seen people taken advantage of when I first started my business, I had an elderly client, and I was amazed at the number of scams that were throwing her way. And I don’t know if as you get older, that your capacity to understand I don’t know if it’s just part of the aging process or you’re not as you know, you don’t do due diligence or you don’t understand, I don’t know if it’s a sign of dementia, having a grandmother it’s all times I can understand that. Except that, you know, that’s just a fascinating disease. Anyway, I had to help this client I was hired to help her declare an organized, but I spent a lot of time getting her out of scams. And you know, that’s when I adopted all the things my father said to me as a child, we can do this easy way or the hard way. Look, I get it’s just a job for you. But we’re going to stop these. I want her credit card anyway, just an enormous amount of time. And so for something like that, when I see someone taking advantage of I definitely get feel very strongly Well, that’s quote unquote, wrong. Now, as I’ve developed spiritually, again, as I mentioned earlier in the episode, well, if someone chose to be scam,
where do I fit in that role? Is it because the truth of the matter is, and I believe this, even if I were to prevent it, it’s going to pop out at a later date. If you’ve decided I These lessons to learn and have chosen certain outcomes to pursue it’s going to happen doesn’t matter what I do. But I understand the ethical, like when the neighbor almost killed our our neighbor’s cat that really bothered me. You almost killed an innocent animal. You didn’t do your due diligence to find out if the animal is a cat belong to someone that really rankled my sense of right and wrong, especially when I’ve taught elderly, children, animals, people that are the most vulnerable and innocent of our society. Still going to get my hackles up. Do you might feel the need to control things that’s what it was. For me. It was an ethical thing. You I believe are scamming people out of money. I’m not okay with that. And sometimes Finally, people feel the need to try and police everything for free. false sense of safety, right? safety’s an illusion. We feel out of control in our lives. So there’s something we can control. Hi, I might be crazy in life, but I can control whether or not this guy has his business. In the UK, I can control whether or not this information remains public and can potentially stop someone from hiring him. Right? When you look at it, I have control. The only thing I have control over are my thoughts, my actions, my behaviors, that’s it. I can’t control anyone else. As much as I’d like to think that I have control over other things I don’t just ultimately those things and the moment and every moment I’m making a choice. That’s what I have control over. It really isn’t safe and trying to prevent someone else from potential financial ruin. isn’t in no way going to improve my life? Or make me feel safe? And if I do believe that then it’s it’s truly is false. How do you stop placing others? First of all, just take a deep breath. That kind of is my go to default thing to do. I feel the need to respond, I must adhere to a couple depress me think through this a little bit. How am I going to respond to this email? Is it really my job to get involved? What’s going on here? What should I do? Let me just take a couple deep breaths. Get centered get neutral about the subject. The question that you can ask yourself, will you be personally harmed? No. If I’m not going to invest with this guy, I’m not gonna be harmed What about people you love? No, they’re all too smart. No way they’d let that happen. No, no, the maybe it’s not my, my battle to get into who is it really going to affect that I know in love. And you know, it’s interesting I posted this in my women’s group and got a lot of great responses and I kind of you know, I’ve talked about this before I think need to kind of bar some things up and so this woman I couple paragraphs, and then she distinctly said, What did I was trying to say, but people were like, wouldn’t you want to remove the video so you aren’t associated with him if he is indeed a con man. And I was like, Oh, yeah, I never thought about it that way. So check in Is it something personal to you, and you know what, and maybe then, if you would be affected or somebody loved and absolutely stand up, you can only make that decision. But that’s something worth asking yourself because remember when you’re spending time time and energy on policing the world. That’s time and energy you’re taking away from yourself, whether it’s to better yourself, whether it’s giving yourself good care whether it’s spending time on your business with your family, being creative. Everything takes time and energy. So that’s something that you’re going to want to think about. Is it really worth your time and energy? Is it worth it? Because most times, it’s not like I didn’t spend an inordinate amount of time and truthfully, I’d had so much going on like, you know what I’ll deal with? Why it’s me later because I said, Okay, well what’s going on with you? What’s mood and I realized one of the things that had triggered me was my my grandma’s grandmother had Alzheimer’s.
And boy, did we hit the jackpot with the caregiver for her talk about someone that you believe is sent from heaven. God love Tracy. You were an incredible woman and credible Angel, one of the most amazing human beings I’ve had the honor to meet. And my other grandmother. Her mind was still sharp but her body deteriorated physically and she didn’t want to be at home and she wanted to stay at home. And so I had caregiver. Well, one of the caregivers were really blessed that we had one woman who was amazing. And then left and then we had people steal for her. My grandmother never treated herself to anything which bummed me out and someone stole a mink stole that she had. That’s probably the nicest article of clothing. We know that they stole money. We figured it out pretty quickly. I shouldn’t say we, I mean I’m not part of that. Because I wasn’t in Wheeling at the time but to take advantage my grandmother, that I love, that I had no control over. I couldn’t do anything. The mink was long gone. It was never found. We don’t know how much money was stolen. And my mother who and my grandmother smoked I mean, and I Lot of the caregivers smoked How often is it that you go to a place to let you smoke? And my grandmother was generous, unkind, and that really angered me that she was taken advantage of. So I figured out, like, okay, we’ll examine more of that later. But that was a big trigger for me. Like, what if it’s someone like my grandmother, and seeing her being taken advantage of and thankfully, you know, shouldn’t lose all our money wasn’t an investment. It’s just people that were who were supposed to take care of her stole from. Ask yourself, is there a legal reason you should do something? Again, showing my age here, like the last episode of Seinfeld when they didn’t stop to help someone and there was that new law and it put them in jail. I don’t have a didn’t have really a legal reason. I’m not in the same country. I’m not a financial investor. You know, it’s an interesting debate. Someone wanted to sue me doctor’s office because they call Child Services on them. And people were like, you know, yeah, they felt it was a civil rights issue. And people are like a doctor is obligated and I can’t remember what the term they use is. It’s mandatory, something that if they suspect something, and someone explained, you know, because it was a home birth, the child could have been kidnapped. They’re always saying they said, why someone might do it. And so the doctor, it looks like I don’t know, again, like just reading comments that she probably didn’t have a lawsuit. Because a doctor was a mandated reporter. I think that might have been the term. So perhaps if I was a financial person or investor, I would have kind of the same thing. I suspect that someone is a fraud and report it. But in this case, I didn’t. So ask yourself, Is there legal reason you should do something. Bring it back to you. Be like a reseller are non judgmental. I shared the story of my grandmother. That’s when I had to take a moment and say, Okay, this is really what’s triggering in me. And again, have compassion for yourself. How great is it that I love my grandmother that much that it hurt me to see her harm? I know many people I’ve seen these posts of people who don’t have family, heartbreaking post about someone not having mourn in my area, I’d invite her she didn’t live in this area that she had no one to spend the holidays with had. She cared for elderly relatives, they’re all gone now. And she didn’t have anyone. I’m grateful for everyone I have and I’m grateful that I had a grandmother and I’m pretty sure she’s grateful that she had such an amazing granddaughter. I know just bragging a little bit loved her dearly miss her every single day. So where are you hurt? What wound is it bro? Take some time to do some self examination. And finally, remember how it felt. If you have someone that police’s you doesn’t feel good to be caught out and say, ugh, when you use the term, you guys and it’s exhausting, it doesn’t feel good. So if it doesn’t feel good to you, it probably is not feeling good to others. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. How would it feel like
sit with that for a few minutes. If you felt shamed or angry or exhausted, how did it feel sit with those emotions, those aren’t fun. And remember that before you decide if you should take action, or make it your cause your cross to bear take actions from today’s podcast. Examine where you police others. Understand why you feel the need to get involved. Ask if you have a legal or moral obligation. Look within to see what you can heal. Ask if you or someone you love would be harmed. Take a deep breath. On our next episode we’re talking about are you please Ben Affleck? Go out, clear your clutter to create the life you choose. deserve and deserve Desire.
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Transcribed by https://otter.ai
Certified life coach, author & award-winning professional life organizer Julie Coraccio shares steps and tips to support you in creating the life you choose, deserve and desire through decluttering your life, end of life planning, mindfulness and how to organize your life.
About Clear Your Clutter Inside & Out
Clutter is stuck stagnant energy and prevents you from creating the life you choose, desire and deserve. We discuss clutter in all its forms: energetic, spiritual, emotional, mental & physical, relationships, health, finances and more. We share tips and take action steps for clutter free living and how to organize your life and death with end of life planning. We’re thinking outside the box on areas where people might not realize where clutter is blocking them. When we remove clutter from our lives we can discover our passions, lead the extraordinary lives we are all meant to live and share our gifts with the world.
DIY Options to Clear Clutter
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