This is the second half of a podcast on life lessons. You don’t have to be 50 to learn from my “mistakes”. These life hacks are important reminders to me on how to live my best life.
Take actions for Life Lessons:
- Pamper yourself
- Know you can do anything
- Seize the moment
- Spend time or live alone
- Release others opinions
- Expect nothing
- Stop apologizing
- Have the difficult conversation
- Own your authentic self
- Accept failures as lessons
- Create a wisdom practice
Certified life coach, author & award-winning professional life organizer Julie Coraccio shares steps and tips to support you in creating the life you choose, deserve and desire through decluttering your life, end of life planning, mindfulness and how to organize your life.
Julie Coraccio 0:03
Today on clear your clutter inside now, we’re talking about what we hope you learn a lot sooner than we did. Do you really acknowledge and understand what you’re capable of doing? Are you guilty of putting your life on hold? Have you learned to stop doing this one thing that you probably do more than you realize? learn some more life lessons that we hope you’ve learned by 50 or even sooner as we finish up our month focusing on your future self. Do you control your clutter? Or does your clutter control you? unclear your clutter inside now. We’ll teach you awareness as well as action steps to create change in your life. Come on. Let’s get started. Hey everyone, another rainy day. This is a second half. I did the first podcast, the first episode this month on things I hope you learn by the time you’re 50. So here’s the second part. Just a quick, quick recap that someone had said, hey, let’s get together from high school and then when I followed up, they kind of ghosted me and my whole thinking was, by 50, you should be able to say no or not offer to hang out with someone if you don’t want to. And then share this on my women’s group in the area where I live over 50 and ask for women their thoughts. And again, this is men, women, anyone can learn this. And so these are the follow up. And the other thing I want you to think about this is the last episode for March. So we are now one third, though way through 2020. I want you to check in with yourself. Are you where you want to be? What do you need to course correct. You can still get it done but you need to be honest and aware
on with the show
number 11 pamper yourself. I am going to separate this out just a teeny bit. From self care, it is self care. But I want to talk about the physical we can talk about more than the physical the pampering. Think about that or the pampering yourself. spoiling yourself and spoiling I don’t even think is the word I want to use your Pampers much better but as foil could work, but some people might have an issue around that word like Oh, I can’t spoil myself. Because self care for you could mean a nap. And if you’re really willing to look you can find pampering and every single thing that you You do, and that’s great. But if you can’t, I want you to think about the deliciousness of ways that you can treat yourself. You know, I like Ulta beauty where I can not invest a ton of money I have very sensitive skin, I can try out a couple products but I like trying different masks on my skin. One of my goals for this year is to do more with essential oils and so when I run out a bubble bath, I’m making my own bubble bath. To me warm bubble bath with a candle and maybe some music or maybe I want to read a book that’s completely pampering myself. Putting on a luxurious moisturizer and really feeling it being in the moment is a way to pamper myself. As I mentioned a moment ago if you never take naps that is pampering yourself. Maybe pampering yourself means getting someone to come in and clean your house. Even if you do it all the time, and you’re able to swing it. pamper yourself that way. So really give yourself small luxuries, it doesn’t have to be this huge thing. Think of the deliciousness, the pampering that you can give yourself. Number 12. No, your capabilities are far greater than you imagined. I continue to discover this about myself. When I was writing the book, all the journal prompts and the and the clear, clear insight book. I included a line about this. And it was very purposeful. Because it was important for me to share with people as a whole kind of impetus behind it. You know, even if you’ve never cleared clutter, know that you can do this and you have the ability more than You think and I really wanted to make sure that I mentioned that because you might have worked with someone in clearing clutter getting organized, they told you you didn’t have skills, you didn’t have abilities. And that’s simply not true. I hope that I’ve mentioned this on the podcast, and if I haven’t, I’m telling you right now, you can do more than you realize. And I phrased it a different way. In the first part of this in the first episode of the month, and again, because so many people would like this particular suggestion and again, I took 21 suggestions from the group Some are mine. Some are others that people really responded to and had Oh, yes. Oh my gosh, yes, love love can’t like this enough. I can’t tell you the number of things I thought I couldn’t do my life. Public Speaking for sure. Books standing up for myself in a huge way. You This whole solar thing really taught me You know what? I am being true to myself, I can stand up for myself, I can make huge decisions for myself. I’m stronger than I give myself credit for. I’m more capable. Just because I don’t know how to do something that I don’t have a certain skill doesn’t mean that I’m dumb. It just means I need to learn something. Or if I can’t like the law, then I reach out to someone who does know who that is their area of expertise. Don’t so yourself short. We’re, as I mentioned a moment ago, we’re through the third quarter of 2020. I want to hear about all the exciting things you’re doing. I want you focused on whether it’s your business goals, your personal life, you can do it. You get that focus going. Know that you have the ability and trust yourself, if it’s a skill or you need support that Reach out for the people that can help you.
Number 13 don’t wait for others to do something you really enjoy. And I also might call this Don’t put your life on hold. I think that don’t put your life on hold. I would do that. I definitely did that when I was younger, kind of the carp, carp ADM. Hopefully I’m saying that way. How many times have you put yourself on life on hold for another? Maybe you’re like, you know what, I want to go back to school, but I’ve got to put my kids first. Maybe there’s a solution to taking online classes are going to night school. How many times have you dimmed your life? Because you didn’t want someone else to feel uncomfortable or you let someone else do something first because you were afraid. Getting to the Y helps you clear it. Now Yes, I know. In an ideal world, we can talk about Pass all this on just release whatever’s going on. But I don’t believe most of us are there yet. And even if we are and have that capability, we can’t do it with every single thing. When I was going through this whole solar thing Cody’s like, what’s the bigger picture here? What’s going on? I said, I’m glad you asked that. Here are some things that it’s definitely relating to. And so I encourage you just get out there and do it. Don’t wait for when you’re 10 pounds less when you are. feel like you’re good enough to start painting again. I don’t care what it is. Just go out and enjoy the activities you do. And this is a time to have a boundary and say, Hey, I really need to go take a painting class. And I really believe when there is a will there’s a way I’ll never forget when I was interviewing Peter Walsh, and I was actually mentioned my sister in law and I said, Well, you know, she’s got you know, time How old are the kids been? Like, maybe they were six, five and three. And that’s a lot to have kids that close in age. It’s a lot to try to run a business and do things. And he was like, No excuses. And, and I thought, Wow, he’s right. I have to agree with him on that. I think it kind of get like, well, I understand where you’re coming from. And I’m always saying you have a choice. I always have a choice. So go do the activities that you desire to do. Don’t let anyone hold you back. Number 14, live alone for a while. I really liked this one. I would say agree with it. And was happy to see that someone posted it. I live by myself for a really long time. I did the remake thing I learned Dang. I have paid my dues on that one. But it really taught me a lot. I was more capable than I realized. Like fixing some things, I’m still not very handy. Don’t get me wrong, but that if there was a problem, a lot of times I could figure out a solution. And why I, you know, had really probably spent a spend or wasted a little bit too much time really wanting to meet someone. There were times I was able to appreciate
being alone, I
was talking to my friend Vince and he said, you know, if I’m a bachelor the rest of my life, I can totally hang with that. I’m good with that. And that is a fantastic space for him or really anyone to be in. But when I looked at the good things, I could make my own rules. I didn’t want to wear makeup, I didn’t have to. I could live my life on my terms. I spent time getting to know myself. I really, I found for me, personal growth is always going on hopefully, but that they’re big waves and spurts like I did sight School, which was a 13 month commitment, and then not too long after that I ended up moving here. I did you know, that women’s ribbon thing and worked really intensely for four years or whatever it was, and I’m kind of on the law and getting back on the upswing, but all the work I did, I was able to do when I lived alone. I’ve got it now if I’m committing to something I have to ask, Well, does it take me away from my family? How does it affect my marriage? And so when you live by yourself, you have a lot more freedom. Some people are afraid to be alone. Raising hand used to be that. And that can be for different reasons, maybe because they don’t know if they like themselves. And this is a lot more common than you think. They might be afraid of what they discover and they and they can’t be without aloneness. I know for me, the staying busy was an attempt to Keep some stuff buried. And when I did clear site that was all the work that I did there really allow that the possibilities to open up and for me to have discovery. But the best way I can put this is it was able to ease me into things and so my brain wouldn’t explode. I think if I had tried to, if I discovered some things in a different order, I just don’t it might have made me insane. I’m not exaggerating them. I just had a meltdown. I might have nervous breakdown, and I’m being very truthful. And I say that. So spend time with yourself and if you are, I’ve known women. This is again, not an exaggeration. I went to an all women’s college and there were a couple women I was friends with and one if she broke up with Joe on Monday, she was dating Jim on Tuesday. I and that’s the only time I’ve ever seen that. And again, it is what it is. But that’s such a different experience than what I have, but there was no alone time and you can be married right now in a relationship living with someone. And if you can’t live alone, then carve out that alone time. Don’t do everything with your husband or your spouse or your partner. Make sure that you are getting time to honor yourself.
Number 15 doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. Oh my gosh, I used to spend so much time on this. Oh my gosh, I don’t like me. What does they think I’m this What if they think I’m that? You have to remember, people are expressing their own secure insecurities. They are expressing their own issues. They might be trying to manipulate you. There’s a whole bunch of stuff going on. Don’t waste time. What other thing and I have to tell you I love I love some of these kids young People that I see these article on and like Greta Thornburg who one time person the year the the young climate activists who talk about walking your walk. Wow. And you know, she’s talked about how she has Asperger’s and, and she’s like, I look at the world differently and that’s a gift and that’s how I’m able to see thing. I truly believe that. I believe that, that especially people that have autism, we haven’t unlocked or understand all their gifts yet. And so, I mean, I can’t imagine I get potshots at me doing this podcasts and YouTube video. And it’s out there but it’s out there in a way that credit is and all these old men who all the horrible things that they said I was just disgusted by that and you know what? She doesn’t care. She just lets it roll off her back. You can tell she is on a mission. She’s an eco warrior, and she’s here to get stuff done. And she’s going to do that she a young age has already figured out. Yeah, whatever. Whatever world leaders say what you want about me. She don’t care what anyone else thinks. And again, I don’t know her. And I would think even if you’re human, something still kind of hurt. But I think she’s in a really great space. It’s such a young age. So I would encourage you remember, when people are sharing their stuff, it’s about them. Bring the focus back to you. Ah, that really hurt me. Oh, maybe that’s an opportunity for me to feel. One of the things I think that’s really freeing about turning 50 is you just don’t care as much. You just really don’t like when I was going on with this whole sort of thing. I’m like, and because Tony I talked about He’s like, we’re going to anger people. I don’t care. I do not care said we’ve been here how long and how met any of these people except for me they can hate me. I we have to stand up for what’s right and for ourselves. So let that stuff go Don’t worry about others.
You have all the answers you need within got clutter 365 journal prompts books, supports you in figuring out how to clear your clutter. get control of your clutter, so your clutter doesn’t control you. reclaim time, money, sanity and resources. Choose from physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, holidays, or compilation volumes one two and three. Free mp3 meditation with purchase. Learn more at reawaken your brilliance, calm or purchase on Apple. On. Number 16 stop expecting you from people. I love this. I had to read this one a couple time. Obviously I didn’t post it. I had to read it a couple of times to understand it. Hopefully I’ll do it justice for the person who posted. Meaning give yourself what you desire instead of looking at and other people. If you are expecting someone to stand up for you, stand up for yourself. If you are expecting someone else to love you, love yourself. If you are expecting someone else to write your novel, you sit down and write your novel. You focus on you. You do what you need to do from you and Give the gift of not burdening someone else. Trying to get that from someone else. Give that to yourself. If you want courage, do something that scares you. Again, that’s kind of tying in with the earlier. lesson of you’re a lot stronger than you think you’re a lot stronger than you know you’re more capable than than you realize. You really are. And it was like I mentioned about expecting a man or partner or boyfriend to bring me happiness. I was expecting happiness for me from someone else. Then when I kind of phrase it like that, like how ridiculous seriously, I spent a lot of my time of my life doing that. So be you own you, celebrate you and give you you
Number 17 stop apologizing for everything. And I wanted to share this as the only time that I took a direct quote because I thought it was so powerful and I thought wow, I haven’t heard this so the person who wrote that shared I hear women apologize for knocking into in animate inanimate objects and the people who bumped into them raising hand used to do those. You do not have to say you’re sorry for how you feel. Your feelings are valid. Why are you apologizing for them? The thing The same thing goes for your thoughts and opinions. I love that Gosh, is that true? And of course they added if you’ve wronged someone, you need to truly apologize it but I believe, especially for women. We are on apology automatic automatic auto drive. It’s so ingrained To us, that we do it, I want you to check out someone that you really admire that you think’s awesome or courageous or whatever word you would use, and watch them tap into, they apologize. Or just sit and observe, see if there’s someone at work and they bump into something and they apologize. And I think with some people who come from a place of, I don’t know if it’s privileged is probably the best word who just kind of feel that they’ve been allowed to steam roll through life, and are going to continue to do so. kind of expect that from us, right? I’m going to get what’s mine and I don’t care if I roll over anyone and just get out of my way. And so when you stop apologizing, that coming from Whoa, be aware of where you’re apologizing, and take the time to observe others. Because I bet you notice you do it more than you realize. Do I still do this? Absolutely. But I’m much more aware. And I do less. And again, if I have wrong someone I apologize for like, I’m know that there are some people in my neighborhood expecting an apology, it’s not gonna happen. I’m not going to apologize, telling the truth. And I’m not going to apologize for standing up for myself and people are angry at me. And what I’ve learned with this two, part of the anger, I know some, some things I’ve learned is because they didn’t stand up for themselves. And you know, when you need to have a target if you can’t own your life, if you can’t own certain things, and you’re going to find that target to express it. So I’m really clear on that. And I have to laugh. I’ll just share this. So this kind of woman reached out to me behind the scenes and she said, You have more support than you realize because oh, everyone in the neighborhood hates us now. She said there are a lot of things and what yours is drama light and I thought oh my goodness. Anyway, and she said I said oh, the President talked about how He was they didn’t name it was very indirect and social media postal on she said don’t worry about his man tears and I have to admit, I laugh and I’m not wanting to for male bashing It drives me nuts when it drives me nuts when people bash and entire sex and entire race, whatever, whatever. And then there are times when you just got to laugh and I’m sorry the man tears made me laugh because I thought, buddy I see right through you. You’re trying to be the mild mannered guy and you are a control and power freak trying to come off as new. So anyway, long story of it. I want you to become aware where you’re apologizing and stop it. Unless you truly need to say you’re sorry. Number 18. difficult conversations are always better than not having them. Right. I did a podcast about that last year on having difficult conversations. Do it. You’ll feel better. It’s true. It might stink. But once they’re done, you can move forward. You know, I talk a lot about prior to doing when I’ve had the reawaken your brilliance internet show, and I’d interview people and from my own personal experience, it takes so much energy when we don’t do things and when we store them because remember, emotions are energy in motion, they want to move, you want to feel anger, whoo, feel anger up and out. feel sadness, up and out, feel joy up and out. You know, again, it’s that constant being present. And so I held on for so long ago afraid, afraid to look for trades afraid. The energy that it took to hold back, be afraid to not confront my fears. was tremendous until I didn’t did it. I had no clue. And I’m like, Oh, my goodness. And that’s one of the reasons why I’m really working to stand up for myself. Like
I don’t want to regret it, I want to stand up if I do that, because if I didn’t stand up for myself I’d like wash the water cuz I didn’t I stand on myself truly dah dah dah, dah. Encourage you have those difficult conversations because it’s the same thing. Not expressing how you feel. Not having the hard conversation takes a lot more energy than actually having the conversation and check out that previous podcast if you need some tips. Number 19. Go back to your true self that’s been buried by society’s expectations. Are you so true? How many of us have a mask? From the moment we’re born people are putting their expectations on you. Have you taken them to heart? I shared that a friend was an attorney and didn’t want to be an attorney. But those expectations were placed placed on him since he was a kid, went to law school practice law and finally, in his 30 said enough, I need to do what’s best for you. And it’s never too late. Never ever, ever too late. It is finally able to release those expectations. Honor your own expectations Be your own measuring stick, release what others have to say, you know, I was always a tomboy, very athletic as a kid that was seen as a bad thing. I wasn’t feminine enough. I was told that, you know, that’s a bad thing. And then I think of my husband. And I have to laugh. We were I was driving the other day. I think actually, he was driving. He’s like, you’re a bad driver. I was like, What? And actually was really funny and we needed a laugh, so it was good. I believe my husband appreciates about me that I don’t mind getting dirty. I was like, we had to rake leaves the other day and I was like, Oh, honey, I’ll help you. I don’t want you to have to do this all by yourself. And that I you know, but for a woman to get 30 there still I you just don’t do that. That’s unfeminist Let all of that junk go and say okay, what’s mine and what else is someone else’s? I’m gonna release the junk that’s not mine. Number 20 it’s okay to fail. Just a lesson on how not to do it. Right? No mistakes or lessons. And I love the way that this person put it. You’ve learned something behind a lot of successful people, or a ton of failures, but they refuse to give up. I still find it amazing that Michael Jordan and that’s kind of after MJ quit I kind of quit I used to I love Larry Bird and Magic Johnson in that rivalry and would watch love the Celtics and watch that and then MJ with the bulls after I haven’t watched pro ball and in years, he was cut from his junior high team. The world might not have known the best or one of the best basketball players Of all time have you given up? I mean, that’s a great perspective for you right there. And there are tons of stories like that. And if you need encouragement get on Google. You can find anything on Google. I was thinking about this as I was making some notes and I created a course. And I got bad advice on it on a couple things, and I’m proud of it. It’s a good course. But I was like, yeah, you know, whatever. Just I can do better. I feel like the books are more me the courses that I’ve created. I have done those a little differently. And they’re better than that. First course. Why was the first course mistake and I think it’s a mistake. I think that it was good. It taught me some things I had to learn some skills, but I wasn’t quite where I wanted it to be. So I stuck with it. Remember that you just have to keep going. The first time I did the interview, well did this Internet TV show where you work in your brilliance? I think maybe we had. We have 40 people turn in tune in because Amnon, the producer, was able to see the numbers. And he’s like, that’s great. And he was like, you know, I was surprised you got any people, but I kept with it. And it kept growing and the numbers and people kept showing up. Because I didn’t give up. I could have walked away after that first episode and been like, and I stink at this. Mm hmm. Didn’t see that way just encouraged me to work harder. And for bonus number 21. And I love how this was phrased. Develop a wisdom practice. Right? It doesn’t define have a spiritual practice and mindfulness practice or religious practice, wisdom practice. During this really stressful time, I have
been rereading Marianne Williamson’s illuminata. And that’s a great little book and it has lots of prayers. And if anyone has, I am looking, please feel free to email me or drop me a line on social media. I really like that. And I really like, how on illuminata she does prayer. And so I’m looking for another one, someone that like, for instance, you have a prayer on fear. She had a prayer for anger for forgiveness, and lots of good stuff. Lots and lots of good stuff. But I’d like to find another one because I really realized that I like this. I like this kind of focus prayer, and I just found it. When I was incredibly stressed out, it was one thing I could do that kind of helped me focus that kind of got me in the spiritual thing. I was falling off the spiritual wagon and I was so stressed out and I thought, Okay, what can we do to bring yourself back so that really helped me that if I develop a wisdom, practice, Okay, people being unfair to me is not about me. It’s about them. People getting angry at me for telling the truth is not about me. And so when I understand those lessons, and I have that wisdom, practice, and the wisdom to be able to walk away, I want to tell you something, you know, we Tony said to me after I was like, we’ve got to cancel this, we can’t move forward. And he’s like, part of me wants to know that understand, I understand. But this is one of those moments where we’ve learned a lot in life, we feel like we have been told, it’s not the bad we don’t want to spend our time and energy. We have to trust that there’s a bigger reason for this. And I believe that and already, we have the Golden Nugget the same day we made the decision to not move forward. Something really kind of surprising and wonderful happen. So find a wisdom practice and you know, my beloved teacher, Judy Be like God, these are just some tools for your toolbox. What else can you learn? Take what you desire to learn. I am doing an online herbal course. As another tool in my toolbox I want to learn more about this. There’s this great course and I signed up for it. I’m very excited. And it just again can help with clients like Judy’s been able to recommend teas and certain things I want to learn how to make tinctures for my family. That’s part of the wisdom so be open be aware be draw from multiple things. You know, the Marianne Williamson book, I have spiritual friends who’d be really turned off that she says God like it, you know, it is what it is. That’s the way she uses to express it. I get what she’s saying. And I want to really get prayer about anger. So take the time to develop a wisdom practice. Take action from today’s podcast. pamper yourself Know You can do anything. Seize the moment. live alone or spend time alone. Release others opinions. expect nothing. stop apologizing. Have the difficult conversation on your authentic self. Except failures his lessons. Create a wisdom practice. Next month we’re talking about being green and eco friendly. Go out. Clear your clutter to create the life you choose. deserve and desire. When you clear your clutter, you can share your gifts with the world. Sign up for our free newsletter at reawaken your brilliance calm. If you’ve enjoyed clear your clutter inside now, please rate review and share us
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About Clear Your Clutter Inside & Out
Clutter is stuck stagnant energy and prevents you from creating the life you choose, desire and deserve. We discuss clutter in all its forms: energetic, spiritual, emotional, mental & physical, relationships, health, finances and more. We share tips and take action steps for clutter free living and how to organize your life and death with end of life planning. We’re thinking outside the box on areas where people might not realize where clutter is blocking them. When we remove clutter from our lives we can discover our passions, lead the extraordinary lives we are all meant to live and share our gifts with the world.
DIY Options to Clear Clutter
Purchase Julie’s books on how to clear clutter from your life: https://www.amazon.com/Julie-Coraccio/e/B07JGGL7ZL/ref=ntt_dp_epwbk_0
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Check out more of my decluttering tips and how to get organized on my YouTube channel. https://www.youtube.com/user/SeibertRadio?feature=watch