Today’s episode on Letting Go of Perfectionism was Inspired because I used to be a perfectionist and good enough wasn’t even in my vocabulary. Life is about living and when we try to do everything perfectly, and not even perfectly but at an impossibly high standard, we can have the joy sucked out of it…so don’t think it’s just about being a perfectionist.
We are moving. And we don’t have paint colors, so we’re leaving in the screws, picture hangers. That has to be good enough. As does the pack job. I moved all the breakables when coming to see my parents. We did a lot so this is going to be relatively smooth move. I trusted I could get it there without breaking. It’s good enough and it’s helped me even more to work on letting go of perfectionism.
Take actions from today’s podcast on letting go of perfectionism:
- Acknowledge where not accepting good enough has created clutter in your life
- Be aware of the signs that everything has to be just so
- Where do you not feel good enough?
- Release the emotions of feeling not good enough
- Embrace being good enough
- Trust all is happening in divine timing.
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Certified life coach, author & award-winning professional life organizer Julie Coraccio shares steps and tips to support you in creating the life you choose, deserve and desire through decluttering your life, mindfulness and how to organize your life.
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Julie Coraccio 0:02
Today on Clear Your Clutter inside now we’re talking about embracing good enough. Do you tend to be a perfectionist even if it drives others around you crazy? Have you found some of your standards? Or the expectations of others? Impossible at times? Are you often tired or sad? Because you feel like you’ve failed? Learn how to accept good enough. As we continue our month focused on starting over do you control your clutter? Or does your clutter control you? Unclear your clutter inside now. We’ll teach you awareness as well as action steps to create change in your life. Come on, let’s get started.
Today’s episode was inspired. B because I used to be a perfectionist. Good enough was in my vocabulary. It wasn’t even in my realm of thinking. Life’s about living and learning and loving and when we try to do everything perfectly, and doesn’t even have to be perfectly because this episodes really not about perfectionism. It’s about having on impossibly high standard, and it just sucks the joy out of all of it, right? It’s like if you are doing you’re an artist, and you keep it has to be perfect has to be perfect, perfect. Then at some point, you lose the joy, right? And it becomes a chore and you kind of trudge along and whatever sparked that happiness to begin with, is now probably gone. So don’t think of today’s episode as talking about being a perfectionist, it’s more about getting that joy back and embracing good enough. So we’re moving and look at is we didn’t we did a little bit of painting. And if we were staying, I would have painted a lot more. But anyway, if these really it’s just this meant green, that’s horrendous anyway, so they didn’t have any leftover paint colors. They had a like kind of the beige color, the neutral color, but not all the other stuff. And so we are leaving in the picture hangers now good thing is my mother helped us hang a lot so they are done correctly. I’ve learned a lot from her and I’m grateful for that. And so the perfectionist in me was like oh no, you’d have to go out and you know if you’ve ever painted especially if it’s a couple years old you just never get the quote unquote match and that would lead to probably having to paint paint a lot more than entire walls and I’m like no and so they were leaving the screws and the paint hanger and all that in and they can use it and the realtor is like it’s all good you know don’t worry about it we can just say this is why it was done. You know we had a stager come in and give us feedback then I love my bathroom. It is my the best bathroom I’ve ever lived in it’s different shades of purple and like a lavender. It’s really pretty awesome. And I have my own separate sinking area my husband has his and there’s a door that shuts the toilet. I mean it’s perfect and nicely his bathtub and I have window by the bath and can put out all my bubble baths. It’s really I hit the jackpot with it anyway. The stagers like oh no, you got to repaint the gross like people are just gonna be turned off by it. And I thought you know what, it’s just gonna have to be good enough. Now the good news is is the market is hot and that where we live, it’s the lowest inventory ever. And we have a lot of other good things go on. I thought you know what, if they hate the bathroom that much, they can paint it, it’s just gonna have to serve as good enough. Kind of like the pack job. As long as it don’t doesn’t get broken. It’s good enough. It’s been taking all the breakable stuff up. I’m just before been like, oh, it’s got to be got everything labeled blah, blah, blah. For everything that I’m dealing with now good enough has to suffice. The books I did are another great example. I have proof them. I have had the four published to grammatical error editors, errors 40 and slip their editors because my grammar stinky and content, another one for content. So three editors. They’ve been proof read by people numerous times. I’m sure someone’s going to find another typo. That is probably is going to happen. There. You’re going to get what you need from the books. And so I had to get tuned. You know, I think it’s part of the writing process. creative process like oh my gosh, I can massage it make it better, blah, blah, I could have edited forever never published a book and I didn’t want to be in that space. So the books are good enough, they are serving their purpose to support people. Kind of same with the website, I’m sure their way to take it another level, you know what it’s, it’s good enough it people can learn about me, it serves its person purpose. So how can not accepting good enough, create clutter. You know, it can create a lot of mental clutter if you’re obsessing and trying to rework things in your head, to make everything just so. And that often creates anxiety.
It can create emotional clutter if you put a lot of pressure and stress on yourself. And you can also do that to other people, and create strange and your relationships. If the living room has to the TV room or y’all hang out as a family has to be perfect all the time, you’re going to drive everyone around you nuts. And if you have impossibly high demands that you put on others, not just yourself, that’s gonna continue to cause strain. I see that sometimes with parents and kids. Anxiety and stress, obviously aren’t good for your health. You can create financial clutter, if you’re always redoing say if you’re remodeling your kitchen, and you know I’ve met people like this always changing everything redoing. It takes them forever to get the project done. And you create additional cost. You can also have physical clutter, if you have a lot of unfinished materials. Or if you’re simply wasting, oh, you know, do this didn’t work. I’m just gonna check it off. And finally, you create spiritual clutter when you’re blocking your highest good, because you’re hanging out with your ego who’s demanding that everything be just so or to an impossibly high standard. How is not accepting being good enough? Creating clutter in your life? Consider that for a moment. And I want to make a distinction here. I’m not saying do something half assed. I’m not saying don’t give it your best effort. And I want to be really clear. So the example that I mentioned previously, a typo in my book isn’t going to change whether or not someone can declutter. So I hope that makes sense. I like to brag that my audience is super smart. So I’m sure you’ve got it. But this is not giving you permission to do do it halfway. This is saying, it doesn’t have to be perfect. There is good enough is good enough. So here are some signs that you don’t accept good enough, and leaning towards everything has to be just so obviously perfectionist, I’ve mentioned that that makes sense. You’re critical of yourself. How critical Are you? Are you of yourself? Or are you of others, although that kind of more slides into being judgmental, and what I was told years ago, and that I bring up all the time when you judge another, you judge yourself, when you’re critical of another, you’re critical of yourself. So if you see criticism, judgment, are you comparing yourself a lot, you know, one of the things that drives me nuts about social media, and then I’m hoping really changes is, and I feel for kids grown up with social media, I am grateful that I missed that boat. But we always are sharing most of us. I’ve done a lot of makeup free little videos and things like that, because I’m like God, the message is more important. And I’m not out to be the influence or and pretty much take it or leave it. What people say they appreciate is my authenticity. So that’s what I’m continue with and just continue to be me. But if you’re always seeing these lives that are curated, it’s not reality, and that you can get up Codding get caught up in comparison. You have a lot of anxiety. Another way if you’re not taking accountability, because it’s, it’s not the way it needs to be, I’m just gonna wipe my hand cleans of it and back off. And if you have a lot of uncompleted projects. So think about those, do you have any of the signs that you’re not good enough? How they’ve been showing up in your life? Is it a pattern, we’re going to talk about pattern, so that’s something to consider. Now, I’m going to do a little bit of an office oxymoron paradox here. But stay with me for a moment. First I want you to consider where you don’t feel good enough because that’s the paradigm talks here. So I’ve got to bring in one of my all time favorite quotes from Miss Eleanor Roosevelt. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. No one can make you feel good enough, or not good enough without your consent, or no one can make you feel fill in the blank. But that’s one of my all time favorite quotes. You know, I often say that I believe things distill down to not feeling good enough, or worthy enough for loved. And that’s something that is huge to me. So I’m going to encourage you to consider where do you feel that way? Explore this clutter. You remember, you don’t need to get to the story, you don’t need to figure out where it came from? What is the feeling of not good enough? And
where do you feel it? Now, it might not be expressed as feeling good enough, you know, we have lots of layers to everything. And it might come out as anger, it might come out as fear, I tend to hold things in my stomach. When I’m not feeling good enough, I then what I try to do is completely feel it. So I can release it. I have finally I have had a lot of pain in my left hip. Now I know that they’re the left hip is related to moving forward, I know I’ve got some resistance going on. And I think maybe that’s my ambivalence towards moving. There are lots of great things. But I have some ambivalence, and that’s okay. And I have to embrace that and say it’s okay to feel. I don’t know how, how this is gonna work out. When you embrace where you don’t feel this, then you can fully embrace good enough and what you do, you know, you did your best, it’s ready to go and move forward. So a little bit of the paradox there. So hopefully, that’s making sense. How do you embrace good enough? Unplug social media media isn’t real, don’t let that be your measuring stick. Because you know, I’ve shared before people are using think there’s another term I use, but I would call it Photoshop, using Photoshop. They’re spending hours to get a picture of a piece of fruit. You know, all these crazy things they do. It’s not real is that really what how you want to spend your energy and time so step away, unplug. Get out of the comparison trap. I know that I did an entire episode on comparing so if you need to check that out. But stop comparing yourself you are on your own journey your own path. Even if someone has similar journeys. They’re going on similar upbringing, you’re still unique. It is your path and my belief system. I believe we chose why the lessons we wanted to come here and learn on this crazy place called Earth. So get out of the comparison trap. Embrace progress, not perfection that’ll help ease you up and, like allow you to embrace good enough. I remember who my brother was getting my baby brother’s eight years younger than me and this is what I would consider a typical baby brother and even in his 40s This is not stopped and his son Max, my nephew who I love dearly is a lot like his father, although my niece Emma, I think is even more so. Like my brother in this disregard know only a couple people that can really tease me to death and, and they are three of them and get me to take a step back and laugh at myself. So anyway, I remember when we had the rehearsal dinner for Justin and I don’t know what I said we were rehearsing walking down the hall and I said I’ll good enough for close enough and he like said some kind of thing like, practice makes permanent, to just give me a hard time. But I’m gonna encourage you to let that one go and go with progress, not perfection, you know, we’re always going to be learning I hope that’s my motto. I’m always going to be learning hopefully until the day I go to the next adventure. And so it’s not about reaching some apex or some enlightenment. I used to think that all the time. It’s like what can I learn in this lifetime? How can I move forward? Do you have obsessive, repetitive or unsettled thought? Are you often overwhelmed or anxious? Do you spend most of your mental energy in the past or in the future? Ready to kick your fear to the curb? get control of your clutter, so your clutter doesn’t control you. Reclaim time, money, sanity and resources. Money So got clutter 365 Journal prompts supports you in clearing your mental clutter, free gift with purchase to support you even more in your journey to declutter your life.
Halt your negative voice, that little critical that ego run, that’s not your soul. Your soul is saying Good job, girl. Keep going. You know, I’ve been meditating with my first ever teacher, and I love her dearly and I cracked up. And so we do this meditation and you talk to your soul, Higher Self, sovereign self, whatever you want to call it, and my sovereign soil. First of all, our hair always looks awesome. I would like to wake up every day and have hair like that. But she’s always you can just feel it when I’m in touch with my soul completely different vibe than when it’s the ego. So that’s a good way. How does that feel to you when you hear that voice and check in because your souls always going to be supportive, it’s not to say that it’s not gonna say, Whoa, hold on now, or tell it like it is. Which sometimes, if you’re sensitive that might like, oh, let’s come across harsh. But there’s a difference between that being needed and being critical. So just stop the tape playing in your head. Heal any trauma you have, or the voices in your head, or the people around you, telling you you’re not good enough. You know, we’re sponges when we’re kids, and we absorb everything, and our perspective is limited. So if we have something traumatic, or even if just an everyday living, we get these false messages, I can tell I still tell you things that adults said to me as kids that I’ve had a break and say that’s not true. That might have been their truth, but it’s not my truth. So any healing you do, we’re gonna talk about healing later in the month, really is going to support you in the list all your awesome sauce qualities, I know you have them. I know they’re things that you are amazing at. And if you’re struggling with this, ask the people around you that love you, there might give you a perspective that you didn’t think like, oh, wow, I am really good at that, oh, I’m a good listener. Oh, I didn’t realize that or you know what, balancing the checkbook every month, I admired that my checkbook never comes out the same. That’s a thing to be proud of yourself for. That your kind. You know, kindness is a quality that seems to be unlimited supply these days. So don’t underestimate all of those amazing things about yourself. And what I’m gonna encourage you to do. Write it out, write all the list of all the groovy things about you and put it where you can see it and remind yourself of that. You are good enough you are worthy in your love. A Biggie coming up, adjust your standards. I know for some people that is going to be a huge struggle. And again, when we dig deep when we’re willing to examine ourselves and what’s going on, and you have compassion for yourself. And you just have to adjust it now I’ll share a little thing that kind of cracks me up I’m one thing that I have been able to completely embrace good enough is when I iron I am not a good iron ore and I embrace it. I tell this funny story. My parents were visiting me when I was living in Los Angeles and my dad said Can yarn my pants. So iron my dad’s pants. He looked at him and said, Can you have your mother arm my pants. So you know, luckily, my husband’s not a perfectionist. I was reading something the other day about a woman from 70. And she said, you know, if I have a stain on my shirt or wrinkle on my shirt, the world will live and that’s kind of how I feel like, you know, my earning job is okay. It’s good enough, right? And I completely embrace that. So there are certain things like I don’t my husband because he’s in the army, he can fold a fitted sheet. It’s pretty amazing. And so now I just have him fold things like that when they come out. But yeah, I actually had to redo the linen closet one time because that’s another place where I embrace good enough you know, the sheets are folded good enough. I’m not gonna spend more time on that. So think about where you are very exacting. Everything has to be just so are people are like, Whoa, my gosh, slow your roll. This is too much for me. Think about where you’ve have that feedback, or take time to think yourself. And those might be areas where you need to adjust your standards.
Be aware of how you talk to yourself. You know, one thing that I really liked so I’ve been doing these Monday meditations is I always feel boost, talking to my higher self because She’s always great. She’s always awesome. So one of the things, I have cut myself slack on, you know, I am doing a talk and I’m super excited. And so I posted in a career group I’m in for my college. And I was like, you know, my brother speaks a lot. And I think I have more slides. And I have too many slides. And everyone gave me feedback. And it was great. Because I was like, Oh, I’d forgotten I can do this, or Oh, I didn’t know I could do this in PowerPoint. And so my presentation just got up level. I wasn’t like, though, your ding dong for not not like, Oh, I didn’t know this, how grateful Am I that I reached out and asked for support? And got amazing responses. So instead of the literally myself for not knowing? I’m like, Well, have you ever taken a PowerPoint class? I don’t think so. And kind of with Excel? No, oh, I didn’t know that. Being proud of myself for asking for support, being open to feedback, you know, that’s the thing I want to concentrate on, not like, oh my gosh, you didn’t know that. So be really aware of how you talk to yourself. Pay attention to those closest to you, you know, I’m sure I’ve said this a lot. But it’s really important who we surround ourselves with. And when you’re in the thick of things, or if you are going through some stressful period, you might sometimes it’s all we can do to just take care of ourselves and kind of maintain living. And so you might not be aware. But are the people around you supportive? How well do they treat you because you become like the people you hang out with. And if they all think things need to be a certain way. And I belong to a group like this one I had done in Los Angeles and transferred here didn’t it was a different vibe here. It’s I think, other cultural thing. And so I was like, it’s too much, I’m not gonna be able to meet the standards of others. And that’s okay. And I wasn’t particularly close to them. But I was new to the area. I didn’t know many people. And I thought, yeah, you know, this is no, this is not where I’m gonna find my tribe. And that’s okay. But do you. And I think sometimes it’s hard. And you know, I would say the South is like that there’s a certain expectation among women. And it’s not for everyone, because where I am is changing. And I think some southerners really struggle with that. But just be aware of who you are. Also important to embrace good enough, is take breaks and recharge. You know, I’m all about clearing clutter, but sometimes you have to just relax, take a step back. And rest. It’s really important. If we rest and take care of ourselves, then it allows us to have more compassion towards ourselves. If we’re unable to embrace good enough, then we’re probably not getting a request. We’re always thinking or always doing or just trying to move forward. And taking a break helps you in so many ways. I think it definitely helps your creativity. I can’t write every day. I love writing. But I’d go nuts if I tried to be creative all the time. And so it just takes me back and remind me what’s important. Is it more important that you get the cluttering book out or that every single word is perfect? Right, it reminds me when we’re able to spend that time and being quiet, and focus on what really matters. If you’re able to, again, even 10 minutes a day, just sitting quietly, either dad’s like, you know what, I just need to sit for 10 minutes and close my eyes and put a heating pad on my back. And that’s what I did. So make sure that you are taking breaks and recharging. And I’ll just share this little tidbit that someone taught me years ago, I used to especially when I started out my business and probably in general in life, I did this where I would just schedule so much. And someone said Make way for opportunity. Don’t pack your schedule so tightly that if an opportunity comes up, you’re able to embrace it a couple times. That’s happened really great. I’m like, hey, I can do an interview or hey, I can grab that appointment. Don’t pack your schedule. Allow time for things to happen.
Love yourself exactly as you are now easier said than done. But I’ve experienced when I’ve loved myself completely. And resistance melts away and makes all the difference in the world. Because I know in every moment I’m good enough. I don’t have to try to prove it to myself or anyone else. I accept myself for who I am. I love myself for who I am and Everyone else can pound sand. And that’s not an arrogant point. That’s a firm strong belief, hey, I have every right to be who I am. And if that doesn’t meet your expectations or what you consider ideal, that’s okay. But I’m going to embrace myself think about what a different world we live in, you know, I’m always talking about sharing your gifts with the world. But if everyone loved him, or her selves or their selves, what kind of world would we live in? You know, we’d live in a very different world. Because if we loved and accepted ourselves, we wouldn’t need to go to war, we wouldn’t need to take from another we’d be happy with what we had, we wouldn’t need to prove we are more powerful than another. When you love yourself, then you don’t need to do those other thing. And really, when it boils down to it, isn’t that what we’re here for? Just to love, love ourselves, learn some lessons and see how can I keep embracing love. And again, easier said than done. I am far from loving myself exactly as is. But I work on it. And I know, the older I get, it’s like the good example of when I just try to control everything, when I just kind of relax into it, I know that then it’s going to be okay. It’s going to be okay. And I can love myself a little more. And finally, trust that all is happening in divine timing. And I might mention this more than once a month, apologies. But when I kind of go with what I’m inspired to write, and the more I live this and let it go, the more life easily rolls along. If you trust that everything’s happening for your highest good, then that allows you to kind of be like, okay, that if I put the book out when I did if I put the art project out if this happen, it is good enough because it’s all unfolding as it should be. And remember, no matter what, you are good enough, you’re worthy and you’re loved. Take action from today’s podcast. Acknowledge where you’re not accepting good enough, has created clutter in your life. Be aware of the signs that everything has to be just so contemplate where you don’t feel good enough. And release any of the emotions and feelings that go along with that. Embrace being good enough. Trust that all is happening in divine timing. On our next episode, we’re talking about where you need to make peace. Go out Clear Your Clutter to create the life you choose deserve and desire. When you clear your clutter, you can share your gifts with the world. Sign up for our free newsletter at reawaken your brilliance calm. Even enjoy Clear Your Clutter inside now. Please rate review and share us
Transcribed by https://otter.ai