I didn’t expect lessons learned from 8 Mile, the movie based on the rapper Slim Shady’s life. My husband asked me to watch it, so I decided to give it a go.

Who is in your inner circle and how well do they support you?  How can we own being embarrassed and turn it into something positive?  How can we look past the outside to get into the inside?

I watched this movie with my husband and was pleasantly surprised. I’m not a big rap fan but as I’m always open to learning where I can. 

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As a clutter control coach, I’m always contemplating.

Here are my three takeaways from 8 Mile.

Rabbit surrounded himself with people who supported him. His inner circle believed in him.

For example, if you are trying to release your physical clutter. Do people support your decisions and offer to help or sabotage you by bringing you things even when you have asked them not to?  Or by insisting you hold all of the family stuff that no one else wants, but won’t let you throw away?

When you say you want to meditate do people say great or say do it later, let’s go have fun now.

When do you want to end a friendship because someone is unkind, do your friends support you or try and talk you out of it?

If you are trying to bring awareness into the spiritual clutter in your life do friends it’s a waste of time—you’re fine the way you are?

Are there people in your life with negative energy that overwhelm you when you see them? Do your friends honor your request to not invite them when you are getting together or does that person show up on every occasion?

What’s your inner circle like? Are they going to support you when you choke in a rap contest and still believe in your or are they off hanging out with the winner?

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The second lesson I learned: Owning being embarrassed.

In the rap off, lays out every embarrassing personal revelation his opponent might level at him.  He owns his embarrassment and the guy has nothing to shame him with and he doesn’t even rap. Just walks off.

By owning his embarrassment he defeated his competition.

What is an embarrassment?

We are most likely to be embarrassed when we believe we have not lived up to expectations whether it is our own expectations, friends, family, societies.  Context also matters.  If I fall down in my house in front of my hubs, he is not going to be surprised and I won’t be embarrassed.  Tripping on my way to the podium, I am going to turn beet red.

Embarrassment cannot be faked and shares our true emotional state. It is singaling gulit or shame.

Who is in your corner? Do you need to clear any relationship clutter? How have you handled being embarrassed?

Overcoming Embarrassment

How Can You Overcome Embarrasment?

Rabbit owned his embarrassment.  What else can we do besides owning it?

How do you rise above that overwhelming feeling that all eyes are on you?

Talk about things that embarrass you. We feel embarrassed because we start assuming what others are thinking.

When you share embarrassing stories with friends or other people you trust, you take away the power those moments have over you. You will most likely see that your friends aren’t going to judge you negatively. They might open up and share their stories and you realize you are not alone.  

Remember that turning red feeling awkward shows you care: We tend to see people who are embarrassed as people who understand when they have crossed a line or made an error.  We all know someone who seems to not admit they have made an error or acknowledge they crossed a line.

Ask a question: We fear being seen in a bad light by others and can feel even worse and blush more.  Consider asking yourself, “I blush when I’m anxious; what does that mean?”

This allows you to refocus back on the interaction and conversation taking place instead of your embarrassment. This can help slow down your embarrassment response faster than continuing to focus on your beet-red face. It places the focus on the external rather than the internal.

Remember most people are focusing on themselves, not you. Don’t take anything personally.

All of these steps have to do with lessening the blow of embarrassment and taking away some of its power.   

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My final takeaway is to remember not to judge a book by its cover.

I’m not a huge fan of Eminem seen some of his work as misogynistic, anti-gay, violent. He appears from what I have read to be a wonderful father.

If we choose to see the good in people, we will find it. I am not saying go be someone’s best friend, can you find something that is positive.  As I say often everything is energy. Wouldn’t it be better to be neutral about someone or remember the good than focusing on what you dislike and maybe even hate?

When Eminem comes up now instead of thinking of some violent rapper, I think what a good father.

What lessons have you taken away from other movies? How can you judge less and love more? How can you cope with embarrassment moving forward?

Take Actions from the two blogs on lessons learned from 8 Mile:

  • Look around you.  How supportive is your inner circle? Do you need to make any changes?
  • How can you get a handle on your embarrassment in the moment.  Which one of the steps would help you the most.
  • Think about someone you don’t like.  Is there any good you can see in them?

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