How can I stop wishful thinking? Have you ever asked yourself that or what wishful thinking means? Are you someone who flits and floats from one healer or healing modality to the next? Do you get annoyed when something doesn’t change instantly? Learn how to release wishful thinking.
This blog post was inspired because I got an email from someone and they asked,
“I listen to every organizing, clutter, and hoarding podcast or TV show in search of another magic word or phrase. And, of course, every book. I am hoping you have another magical word to help me think better.”
What I wrote back:
“I do not have a magical word that I can recommend. It has not been my experience that people find an idea or phrase and then the clutter easily disappears. While it is different for every person, most people need to get to the root of clutter and that takes some time and self-examination. I wish it were easier, but that hasn’t been my experience personally or professionally.”
Also inspired by a client who went to every healer, tried every method and she still purchased and purchased and purchased. At the root, in my opinion, she had never grieved the loss of her husband. He died and she was left with small children. Trying to fill that void that emptiness inside. Things aren’t going to do that.
With shows like Hoarders we see 48 minutes of stuff becoming magically transformed. That isn’t’ the reality.
As shown by the email I shared: one word to change everything instead of actually doing the work. You’re doing wishful thinking when you expect things to change in an instant. And who can blame any of us when we wish that? Sometimes we’re overwhelmed, exhausted, scared, lonely….any number of reasons why we’d want things to change instantly.
How do we let go of thinking that one word, event, or encounter is going to change everything?
Become aware. How is your life being affected? How is too much clutter in your life affecting you? How does it impact you on a daily basis?
Identify. What exactly are you afraid of? Sometimes we have this nebulous fear that has just grown or isn’t clear. Name it to reclaim it. Many times our fears aren’t realistic and won’t come to pass. We make a mountain out of a molehill.
Be like Joey Antonio and Athena, Curious cats. Get curious about what thoughts generate your fear, where do you feel the fear, and how do you react to it? Again, be an observer of what is going on.
Become present. The more present you become the better chance you have to release wishful thinking and take concrete steps to address your concerns and fears and move forward.
Do the work. This is probably the least favorite of most people. Doing the work can really suck sometimes, but I guarantee you it takes more energy to hold back then to go through the fire and be with your feelings and fears.
Feel your feelings. Many times we try and avoid unpleasant feelings. Of course this is understandable. We make the mistake of labeling our feelings as good and bad. Anger can transform us. Sadness can help us heal. Feelings are just energy in motion wanting to release and move up and out. When we feel, we find freedom and can move forward.
Where do you have wishful thinking? What are you wanting to change? What steps can you take to move forward in your life?
Other ways to release wishful thinking and move forward:
Take action. One foot in front of the other. A little bit of work adds up. When we’re stuck and don’t do anything, things won’t change. If you’re feeling paralyzed, ask for help.
Gratitude. The more gratitude you can have, the more you open your heart, this only helps you. This can help you ease your fears. You can’t always have gratitude and that’s okay. If you’re really afraid it might be difficult. See if you can be thankful for one thing each day: having a home, having food, having running water. This might allow you to see that you’ll be okay.
Journal. I am a big fan of journaling. That’s why I created my Got Clutter? 365 Journal Prompt Series. You have all the answers within. Increase your awareness by figuring out more about your wishful thinking.
Get a perspective. We tend to focus too much on the negative, so by looking at all the options, you often realize that you’re making a big deal of nothing. There are so many things that can happen that it’s impossible for you to predict.
If you’re afraid of what may happen when you dig deep or are worried that something else isn’t going to work… your mind may think up obstacles. You oversleep to attend the energy healing class you have always wanted to.
If you remove self-doubt and uncertainties from your mind and remain confident, you can lessen wishful thinking.
Overcome Perfectionism. This can be a big one. I know people have to be perfect or don’t want to do it at all. You might engage in wishful thinking because your want your home to be perfectly organized or declutter. Get comfortable with good enough.
Surrender. Surrendering to what is can be very powerful, because as long as we try to change what is, we will never be at peace. Trust me, I’ve tried to change the past many times and have never been successful.
Let go of the story. We all tell ourselves a story about our fear. When I started my business, I was afraid I might be awful at starting a new business I tell myself a story (in my head) about how I’ll fail horribly, people will tsk tsk, or even worse, no one will ever hire me. What’s your story?
Release Control. Where we don’t have control, we experience fear. But control is an illusion. Give it up baby give up. If You are a professional baker you can still mess up a dessert. Even if you can swim, you can drown. Trust and try to be in the flow of life.
Find meaning. This isn’t necessary and if you’re really struggling, don’t attempt this. Many times after the fact I can find some golden nugget or consolation. Maybe I needed to learn something, or I often say that I needed to clear some karma. This might not work for you, but it does for me. Try to be as open as you’re able.
Take Actions from the blog on how can I stop wishful thinking?:
- Where in your life do you do some wishful thinking and avoid an issue?
- What is the root cause of the issue? Can you release the story behind it?
- Begin with one action step to move forward.
How can you let go of wishful thinking? What do you need to let go of? What do you need to embrace? What benefits can you receive by stopping wishful thinking?
DIY Options to Clear Clutter
Purchase Julie’s books on how to clear clutter from your life: https://reawakenyourbrilliance.com/shop/
Subscribe to Clear Your Clutter Inside & Out Podcast https://reawakenyourbrilliance.com/resources-concierge-services/podcasts/self-help-podcast/
Check out more of my decluttering tips and how to get organized on my YouTube channel. https://www.youtube.com/user/SeibertRadio?feature=watch