Ready to learn about going with the flow?
Do you try and control the outcome of events? Have you said yes to something only to discover later that it wasn’t the right decision for you? Are you afraid that if you don’t take some action that you may jeopardize the outcome?
I have been practicing the art of allowing a lot. Because I too often say yes to something I don’t want to do, or don’t think it through and check in with my guidance if this is the right thing for me.
How do we practice the out of allowing? For me, the first thing and probably the hardest is trust. When we have trust or faith, or whatever you may like to call it, we allow life to unfold and trust the process.
Allowing takes faith, patience, and trust. While these can bring you peace of mind and well-being, we aren’t encouraged to practice that in our go go go results-oriented culture. And, if not so great things have happened to us in the past, it is easy to see why we wouldn’t want to allow life to unfold.
How do you practice the art of allowing?
First, check-in with how you feel about this. This may be a new concept for some of you and very scary for others. How comfortable are you with allowing things to happen in your life? Are you okay allowing people to be who they are, and act as they do? Or would you rather control things? Try and become aware of how you feel about allowing and where you may become hung up.
I used to always try and control finding my husband. I would go somewhere where I thought eligible men might be or try to be someone who I wasn’t. When I finally didn’t try to make it happen and control who when how where what and was happy, I found my husband.
I used to always try and make business happen when I first started out. Networking, going to meetings, blah blah blah. When I started to let go of trying to control it all, I got more clients.
Think of trying to control as a straw. How much can get through? Not much. When you begin to allow, you begin to create space to make things happen. That s why I am all about clearing the clutter because when you clear it you can make life happen. When you have a bunch of clutter it is hard for things to make their way into your life.
Where do you not allow?
Observe where you tend to control and now allow. I used to fight being sick all the time. My body was telling me to slow down, but I didn’t listen. I would work and exercise, always pushing ahead despite being exhausted or sick. As a result, I got Epstein Barr virus that guaranteed I had to slow down. Had I allowed life to happen, I might not have gotten EBV. However, I was coming from a place of fear: afraid to miss work; afraid I would be labeled weak and worried my bosses wouldn’t be taken care of properly.
Where do you not allow it?
Do you try to control your body? How do your co-workers manage their work? How your husband does certain tasks? Choosing activities for your children instead of letting them pick? Where do you fight and resist flow?
Control can be subtle, so pay close attention.
Where are you not allowing flow in your life? What are you trying to control? What’s behind your need to control?
More things to consider when getting into the art of allowing.
Check-in with your emotions.
I wanted to share this from An Introduction to The Art of Allowing with Esther from Abraham Hicks. There is a PDF you can download from the internet. I thought this was a good capsule of information:
“Your emotions tell you everything that you need to know about your state of allowing or of not allowing. In other words, when you feel positive emotion it means you are in vibrational harmony with your Source, and you are allowing the good things that you are wanting to come to you. It is that simple. “
The only thing that matters is how you’re flowing in the moment. Right now is where all of your power is. Right now you are either open and allowing your Life Force to flow or not — and you can tell by the way you feel whether you are allowing or not. “
Are you focused on feeling good or on what you don’t have? Where the attention goes the energy flows. Focusing on gratitude, what you do have, what brings you joy, allows you to open up. Focusing on what you don’t have, why it hasn’t come yet, how it doesn’t look like what you wanted cuts you off. That straw comes up again.
Practice a physical art of allowing.
Do something physical that mimics being in allowance. To me that’s movements that are fluid, gentle, and easy; they aren’t fast, choppy or resisting. They are meditation in motion. Stuff like Tai Chi, breathing exercises, meditation, Yoga moves such as Sunrise Salutations, etc. When I am at the beach I float in the ocean.
It has been my experience that when I am doing gentle, flowing physical exercises, I resist less. It’s hard to have a tight grip on everything when your body is gently flowing. When your body is in physical flow, you become more aware as it is easier to observe your thoughts and emotions. These activities also support you in being centered, reducing stress, and increasing relaxation.
What ways would you like to try allowing on the physical front?
Create a mindfulness practice around allowing. Try and do
it daily. It doesn’t have to be some long, drawn-out practice. Many things won’t take a lot of time. Prayer, meditation, quiet reflection, or affirmation.
Why might you be afraid of allowing stuff to happen and need to control?
I used to have to control everything and I still struggle. When I was a child, I suffered some trauma. As a result, I would try to control everything in my environment. I wasn’t aware of this for a long time. I realized my need to control was coming from fear and was a reaction to being afraid to be hurt again. Usually, much was out of my control or things didn’t happen how I had expected. It’s my experience that when I quit trying to control everything and am in flow, life is easier and works out for the best.
Might control because afraid of being abandoned.
Or maybe you need it to feel powerful.
What’s beneath wanting to control and not allow? You may be anxious or afraid you will fail, be hurt, criticized, abandoned, disappointed, rejected, or humiliated.
Fear and anxiety of not having needs met. People are scared to be vulnerable and think if they aren’t in control then someone else is and that can be a scary prospect.
If you really like to control stuff and the thought of allowing life to happen scares you, consider getting support to examine why that is more closely.
Take actions from both blogs posts on allowing:
- Write down how you feel about the art of allowing.
- Practice meditation or another mindfulness practice to connect with your soul wisdom and life force.
- Try a physical form of allowing in motion.
- If you are challenged by allowing things to happen, can you dig deeper and learn why that is?
What clutter is stopping you from allowing life to unfold? What ways can you allow yourself to be more in flow? What one step can you take right now to release control?
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