Today on our blog we are tackling emotional clutter by feeling our feelings.
Do you avoid your feelings? Are you afraid to express your feelings for fear of what others may say? Do you think you have dealt with an emotion around an event only for it to pop up later? Listen as we offer tips to clear clutter through feeling!
This is one of those blogs for me that I hope you are able to do this in some way, shape or form. Working on feeling my feelings has had a huge impact on my life. If you have listened to my earlier episodes, I talk a lot about emotional eating which is something I have struggled with for years. This is one of the things that is helping change that for me.
Don’t forget to check out part 2 later this month!
Feel Feelings: Why we avoid Feelings
We avoid some feelings because they don’t feel good—grief, loneliness, heartbreak, and outrage. Other emotions that we create through the stories we tell ourselves, such as guilt, shame, depression and emptiness, aren’t fun either.
Who wants to feel yucky feelings?
Research has shown that suppressing or avoiding your emotions in fact can make them stronger. So, if you are sad because you broke up with your boyfriend or girlfriend but want to avoid feeling sad, you may watch funny TV shows and movies or act as if the break up didn’t occur.
The sadness is still present in your mind and in your body as we store emotions—everything is energy. Something minor may cause you to fly off the handle. Even if you were avoiding sadness, it may come out as anger. Suppressing emotions is your body’s way of protecting you during trauma; emotional release in a non-traumatic situation is your body’s way of protecting itself from further damage and releasing stuck emotions.
How feeling our feelings Supports Us
While it isn’t fun to feel unpleasant feelings, they actually help us. They intuitively know if something is wrong, like cancer. Many people will express they knew something was off in their body, but chose to ignore what they were feeling.
If we check in with ourselves, our feelings let us know if we are not on the right path. At a fork in the road with your career? Check in with how you are feeling about the choices.
They also alert us if something is dangerous. I ignored my feelings and was a victim of a violent crime. I do a lot of journaling and about a year after it happened, I discovered I had written about it. I noticed that something was off, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. By not being in touch with my feelings I suffered harm.
By feeling our feelings we can see where we need to create boundaries and whom we let into our life. They help us learn to say no and have better self-care.
Feel the feelings
First, give yourself permission to feel. You are allowed to feel whatever you need to. Try not to judge an emotion as good or bad. For example, anger can serve as great catalyst for change. Women would have never had the write to vote if Susan B and all her friends weren’t really angry.
It’s important to remember that unpleasant feelings are a part of life. We can’t avoid them through resisting them. “What you resists, persists,” said Carl Jung. If we accept our feelings it allows us to deal with them more successfully and once we do that we can release them. What I mean is sitting with your sadness or anger or guilt or shame and really feeling it. Know that it won’t last forever.
When I ended a relationship I cried for about 20 minutes. Howling, sounding unhuman. When I finished, I knew that my grief was over. That isn’t to say that a tinge would pop up every now and then, but when I fully felt my heartache I was able to release it. Prior to clearing the clutter inside and out, I interviewed a lot of people on my internet TV show reawaken your brilliance, all of them said that it was harder to suppress feelings than it was to release them. I also share this from experience.
When you feel your feelings, this allows you to not act on your pain, such as hitting someone or abusing yourself. Once released you can channel into something healthy such as writing or dancing.
Also, When we don’t feel anger or guilt, people can keep us oppressed and in their power. No matter where you stand politically, in America, people are angry. People are becoming angry enough to demand change.
What feelings are you avoiding now? How does your body feel when you keep your emotions buried? How can you best feel your feelings?
DIY Options to Clear Clutter
Purchase Julie’s books on how to clear clutter from your life: https://www.amazon.com/Julie-Coraccio/e/B07JGGL7ZL/ref=ntt_dp_epwbk_0
Subscribe to Clear Your Clutter Inside & Out Podcast https://reawakenyourbrilliance.com/resources-concierge-services/podcasts/self-help-podcast/
Check out more of my decluttering tips and how to get organized on my YouTube channel. https://www.youtube.com/user/SeibertRadio?feature=watch