Do you panic at the thought of putting yourself first? Are you unsure how to say no to take time for yourself? What are the good things about being selfish?

Today’s clearing clutter blog is inspired because most of my life I have never been able to be selfish and I always put myself last. It still makes me nervous but I have gotten a lot better.

Not being able to be selfish really impacted my health. So much so that I developed mono after not wanting to stay at home from work because people were depending on me.

Thanksgiving had some unkind relatives here. I went off and read. Some might consider that selfish, I didn’t. It was for my peace of mind.

Practicing good selfishness is a continual process for me.  My time and sanity are valuable.

Do you see being selfish as a bad thing? 

Back in the days of dinosaurs, people needed to survive so you can understand why being selfish happened. And if you believe we are hard wired for some things, this makes total sense.  

Society also gives us a hard time when we are the good selfish I think and not enough of a hard time when we are bad selfish.  I also think women are criticized for being selfish.

The dictionary defines “Selfish as  lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit or pleasure.”

First, I want to be clear on the bad selfish and what I am NOT talking about today.  I am talking about when we are good to ourselves but being bad to others. If you don’t listen to people, eat all the cake, manipulate people into doing what you want…. think of bad selfishness as stuff that is really one sided.

What I am going to talk about today. Good selfishness benefits us but it can also benefit others. If I take care of myself, it allows me to take care of my clients, cats and husband.

How Can Being Selfish Benefit Me?

You’ll have better health if you’re taking care of yourself.

Be happier!

Better relationships.

Can help you be more compassionate when you take care of yourself can take car of others

Boost your self-esteem! We could all use that!

Good self-care affects all areas of life.

When you are selfish and own your life you wont blame others when it doesn’t work out. You will take responsibility and focus less on the actions of others

You can only help the world around you and be of service to it when you are happy and content with your own self. If you are constantly distracted and upset by those around you, you will not be able to be of service to anyone. Giving what you don’t have is always a horrible idea. Focus on your own personal growth and define what you want for yourself, and then you will be of service to those who need it.

Be more balanced.

Less likely be on autopilot. Take care of yourself and put yourself first more likely be aware, mindful and take action when necessary

Will do more of what makes you happy

Be an example for others to take care of themselves

How Can I Be a Good Selfish?

What is your definition of selfish? Do you see as good or bad? Is the thought of being selfish giving you stress?  If it is, redefine what it means to be selfish.

Know and Do You. Do you really know what you like? Are you a people pleaser and the thought of doing something for self sends into a sweat. Take time to discover who you are what you enjoy. When you figure that out, it is a lot easier to be selfish.

If you have a lot of guilt, work on a way to address. You’re a work in progress. I still have guilt.  Why do you feel guilty?  I have said this a lot but I really believe it when we boil it down, it is about not feeling good enough, worthy or loved. If we felt all that, we wouldn’t worry about what others thought.

You can be selfish and do it kindly and from a place of love.

Say yes to what you want to do. What do you want to do?  GO back to exploring what makes you tick.

Say no to what you don’t want to do. Flex those NO muscles. I did an entire podcast on that.  Don’t let others demands way you down.  Check in. Does it align with your goals of what you want to achieve? It is clutter say no.

Take care of yourself. Physical mental emotional spiritual needs. What do you need in this moment? If you need to sleep honor that.

Ask for help. So many times, we try to do it ourselves. Ask for whatever support you need when you need it.

Work on improving yourself. Be the best version of you.  Continual process. As you love and improve yourself it is easier to be selfish.

Practice being selfish. Put into action what you say you are going to do. Don’t just talk about. Awareness + action = change.

Take actions from today’s declutter your life blog on selfishness:

  • Review how you feel about being selfish.  Is that a challenge for you?  What do you need to do to switch your thinking?
  • When thinking about being: selfish ask yourself does it harm anyone?  Do not do it if it does. If it doesn’t harm anyone and supports others, go for it.
  • Write down the benefits you will receive for being selfish.
  • Begin being selfish!

DIY Options to Clear Clutter

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Certified life coach, author & award-winning professional life organizer Julie Coraccio shares steps and tips to support you in creating the life you choose, deserve, and desire through decluttering your life, mindfulness, and how to organize your life.

About Clear Your Clutter Inside & Out

Clutter is stuck stagnant energy and prevents you from creating the life you choose, desire, and deserve. We discuss clutter in all its forms: energetic, spiritual, emotional, mental & physical, relationships, health, finances, and more. We share tips and take action steps for clutter-free living and how to organize your life and death with end-of-life planning. We’re thinking outside the box on areas where people might not realize where clutter is blocking them. When we remove clutter from our lives we can discover our passions, lead the extraordinary lives we are all meant to live, and share our gifts with the world.

Declutter Your Life with Julie Coraccio