When have you used language that dehumanizes someone? What demeaning images and memes have you shared on social media? How have you lost compassion and empathy by seeing people and more as the “other”? Learn to become aware of where you may be dehumanizing another and being more compassionate.
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Julie Coraccio 0:03
Today on Clear Your Clutter inside now, we’re talking about where you’ve lost your humanity. When have you used language that dehumanizes? Someone? What demeaning images and memes Have you shared on social media? How have you lost compassion and empathy by seeing people and more as the other? Learn to become aware of where you may be dehumanizing another as we wrap up our month focusing on growing into who you’re meant to be? Do you control your clutter? Or does your clutter control you? Unclear your clutter inside now, we’ll teach you awareness as well as action steps to create change in your life. Come on, let’s get started. Today’s episode was inspired by civil if you’ve been a longtime listener, civil was like a second mother to me. And just a reminder that we should be friends with people that aren’t exactly like us and share our views and are maybe older. I met Sybil when I was 19. And she was in her 50s. When I was working the summers in Maine, I have a wonderful interview with her if you just sy bi L is how she spelled her name. If you just put that in the podcast with YouTube on my page, you’ll be able to find her anyway love civil. She was wonderful. And I’ve been thinking a lot about her lately. She went to the next adventure, and a few years ago. And she was a wonderful influence on my life. And when she went she said take me now take me now take me now. I mean, what a great way to start the next life right? Anyway, I’ve been thinking a lot about civil and civil and I were very close. But we had differences of opinions. I’ll just share a little fun story with you really quickly. I have a on and off relationship with Diet Coke. I think it’s the worst thing in the world you can drink and so I’ve long stretches where I don’t have any and trying ginger ale and making other home things anyway, Neville once said to me now, Julie, when people are at my funeral, are they going to be over my casket and saying she shouldn’t have had so many Cokes? As a way to just get me to be relaxed, a little more not so uptight about stuff. Simple grew up in Louisiana, Deep South. I live in Raleigh, currently that’s changing to go to West Virginia. But in the south, they’re just certain customs tradition ways. And the deeper the south I think the more these go and why I wanted rap civil is because even though civil and I had different opinions. One of those, the easy one I’ll share was on manners. I was like, well, so why would you inauthentic with someone and be like, hey, when you can’t stand that person and she was appalled at that she was like I would never be ill mannered manners above all. So even if you hate someone, and maybe I’m not being fair to myself, because I’m sure Sybil and I would have had a deeper conversation on it. Just meaning I would never be want to be rude. But I’m not gonna sit and have a conversation with someone I don’t like I’m just not gonna have idle chatter. Why do that if you don’t get along, nothing wrong with it. But I just to me, that’s an authentic. We’re civil with view, to some extent that that was implied why we’re talking about not losing our humanity or how we have is because civil is a great example. The civil was very religious. And she said to me, once, you know what I was raised, that being gay is not okay. I took a different tactic and like, people love one another. I don’t see anything wrong with that. But here’s what separate civil, she didn’t believe that gay was okay, because that’s how she was raised. But guess who
spent being with men who were dying of AIDS was before it was a celebrity cause they didn’t know. And I wouldn’t want to be a gay man and Louisiana in the 80s or whatever was but she would spend taking care of them as they were dying, and taking care of their physical needs and being a great comfort to them. And even though she said, I don’t think this is right, she said, I’m not going to lose my humanity over that this is still a human being. It’s not my place to judge and I’m going to love them and provide them comfort and that’s what we believe is Americans have lost that doesn’t exist anymore. That’s an unfair statement, let me rephrase that. It doesn’t exist a lot anymore, at least where I’m saying it, yes are tons of good people out there. But a lot of us, including myself, need to continue to work on this. When she was really sad, she had a basket of letters. And I am very happy to say that some of those letters that I wrote or made are in the basket, just, I took the time. And I’d encourage you to do this, if someone has been an influence on you, if they have helped you in some way, take the time to write a really not an email, write a really heartfelt old fashioned letter. Because I saw when she was sad, or needed, kind of like a virtual hug those letter helped her. And a lot of those letters were from the men. She had helped as they were dying, or from family members of the men that she had helped when they were dying. And then we’ll never lost her humanity towards anyone. And maybe part of that is because she grew up so poor, and she knew what it was like to struggle and have a hardship. And when Sybil died, she was the richest person I’ve ever known that died. I don’t know how much money she had. But talk about someone who was so loved, missed by so many people who would go to the end of the earth for her, you know, still had stage four lung cancer, I want to say it was 12 years, I think that’s practically unheard of. And in my view, one of the things that kept her going while it was her faith, her love and her friendships, because people would do anything for her because she was the same way and reciprocated. When I lived out in Los Angeles, I’ll never forget, when I’d see a homeless person, I don’t feel like I had a lot of humanity like come on, get a home. Now as I grew and learn more, for instance, I learned about dual diagnosis, a lot of times people who are mentally ill, or homeless, struggling also with being mentally ill, I’ve learned about PTSD and how we have a lot of these vets come back and we don’t take care of them while you served your country. How can I get mad at you for being homeless when we as a nation haven’t given you the tools that you need to get better my husband was, is a vet and served in the Army and it took us almost six years. I’ve seen him as helped to cheer it took us almost six years, they were gonna try to take his benefits away. Six years. That’s his prime as far as I’m concerned. Because why my husband has challenges. I know there are a lot people more people worse off. And I’m hopeful that people will step up the game. But that’s just one example where I had lost my humanity. Until I became a cat mom, I wouldn’t say that I had a ton of humanity towards animals. I wasn’t cruel, but I was kind of like, maybe neutral. And so that allowed me to open up. I remember one of the things I do always check in with myself, you know, should I do something or help someone I read ages ago and so I always do this I will look someone in the eye waved them smile because I remember a homeless person saying it just felt when people just ignore you like you don’t exist. And so I don’t want to be like that. I remember once I was a man who was outside the grocery store, I said come on, let’s come in Let me buy you a lunch or buy them a lunch and I was like a cookie because everyone needs a cookie and and just anyway, the looks that I got in the grocery store. Boy, were people angry at me and I thought I never want to be like that. I don’t care if he smells or not. I’ve purchased groceries for someone. I mean, I remember and then she was crying because she said I had to take a taxi to get here and I never money. I said it’s okay. It’s my gift. Just you know, if you’re able to in the future, pay it forward. I always try to remember the humanity of everyone. And have I always been successful? Absolutely not. The more I’ve grown, the more spiritual I’ve become, I’ve been better able to do that. So this podcast is not only for you, it’s a reminder, for myself, isn’t coming from a preachy place. I never want to be that way. I always try to keep it with real with you and share
when I fail. dehumanizing can create clutter in our lives. What you do, do another you do to yourself. You create spiritual clutter because you’re not coming from love and that permeates everything. You’re creating mental clutter if you’re spending your energy on top thing about someone and taking them down. Instead of focusing on what’s important to you, or how you can be a better person creates an unmet amount of emotional clutter because when we dehumanize another, it creates feelings of hate, anger, fear and rage that what motivates You did dehumanize another, it can create tension in relationships when people aren’t like you. And you don’t want to be around people that are different and create a host of clutter. How has dehumanizing someone or animals or plants? I would add now to the list after taking plant medicine? How has that created clutter for you? I wanted to do a brief kind of history of the humanizing. I got this from a Vox article, The Dark psychology of dehumanization explained by Brian redneck from March 7 2017. It’s a good article, I’d encourage you to find it and read it. And I just want to share a bit of history because I thought that this was really interesting. 1000s of years ago, humans would have felt a pang of anxiety when they saw a foreign tribe marching over a hill, right, we still got that caveman stuff going on. And that anxiety is still inside of us. Susan Fiske, a psychologist at Princeton University, and a leading expert on prejudice shared, quote, people, spontaneous knee jerk reaction to other people who are dramatically different from them is negative. And quote, it’s especially true when we have quick, minimal exposure. Right. And that’s kind of what we have in the media, we see these, gosh, that tick tock thing aren’t those videos like 30 seconds or something like that. So we get this quick snapshot, we don’t see the history, we don’t see millions of other things. And what that does is it creates conflict, it creates us versus them. And because of the caveman era, and what we’re wired to do, it just feeds into that I’m reading a really good book called America’s racial karma now. And it’s by Dr. Larry ward. And he brings that up again, and talks about how racism start in the beginning. And it brings a Buddhist spiritual perspective, it’s a really small book that I’m taking my time to read it, because it kind of talks about that and how we’ve been in certain things have been ingrained. So part of it’s just, it’s how we’re wired to respond and operate. If you look back at some of the tragedies in human history, look at the words and images that dehumanize people in the Nazi era. And in the film, The Eternal Jew, they depicted Jews as rap. I haven’t seen that film and I never knew that. If we look at World War Two, psychologist wanted understand how genocide had happened. Stanley Milgram infamous electroshock bearment showed how quickly people cave to authority. I remember talking to my husband he found on YouTube Philip Zimbardo was, quote, Prison Experiment unquote. And that showed how easily people in positions of power can abuse others. And Justice drives me nuts part of my frustration with the HOA. On our annual meeting they shared Oh, you know, we’re so lucky to have them because it takes so much time and we had a meeting separate from the meeting afterwards. And people were like, if they hate it so much, why are they doing it and we’re all like, because they want power. They want power to lord over others. And that’s what it’s not about losing the money. I’m not jumping for joy, but it’s about seeing people because it it goes way deeper than are lost and other things that have happened. But they don’t feel empowered in their life, and they want to take advantage of other people. They want to feel power over the people. Now that’s a sad place to be. But this prison experiment showed how quickly and easily that can happen. And at Stanford, Albert Bandura show that when participants over here and experiment, call another study subject, quote, an animal, they’re more likely to give that sharp subject a painful shock.
If you’re someone that finds murder, and torture as unacceptable, then when you dehumanize the other because right, it’s creating a separation. It’s a psychologic loophole that you can then justify well, they’re less than they’re not human so I can torture them. Why do people to humanize? This is really interesting. I did some Googling and some research because it’s a subject that I don’t know a lot about. And I’m reading this book by Dr. Ward. I want to do a little research. Sociologists and historians often view dehumanization as essential to war. This from the previous article that I cited sociologists and historians often viewed dehumanization as a central to war. I had never thought about it. But does that make sense? Governments sometimes represent enemy civilians or soldiers as less than human so that voters will be more likely to support a war they may otherwise consider moral. dictatorships use the same process to prevent opposition’s by citizens. Seeing that in black and white makes total sense to me. Again, I might have had these disparate thought but that kind of connected it for me. In an article from Psychology Today from June 20 2018, by Dr. Paul the guard, David Livingston Smith’s book less than human documents and analyzes numerous cases of dehumanization, the practice of depicting groups of people as lacking in the essence of human beings. The cognitive processes include categorization, think about when you’re watching social media when you’re reading things, how are people being categorized, imagery, look at all the memes and metaphor that a humanized group is classified as non human animals. The categories used are not just verbal, but carry potent images such as long nose rats and swarming cockroaches. Saying that immigrants are infestations is not literally true. But metaphorically it has a substantial impact. Think about that wiring in our cave man and what that’s playing into. So this impacts emotional. The point of the categorizations images and metaphor is to generate the same kinds of emotion that people normally apply to non human agents that produce damage and disease to humanization depends on emotional analogies that transfer the negative feelings that go with vermin to the group that the speaker wants to attack. Characterizing people as akin to animals that are unclean prey or predators carries over the emotions that go with these categories. So some of the transferred emotions are disgust, fear, hatred, anger. And these are used to inspire and justify extreme measures against despised groups, ranging from separating children from their parents, to slavery to gassy dehumanizing groups of people produces a kind of emotional guest thought shift, replacing the respect and compassion that normally go with recognizing people’s human with a different emotional package that applies to threatening subhuman species. So that’s how in Nazi Germany, they were able to make that happen. People didn’t stand up, and more people just bought into this. And then the Holocaust happened. feel stuck, but have no clue what you need to do to move forward. Would you like to feel energized and excited every day? Are you ready to create the life you desire? Julie Coraccio supports you in finding the answers within and then taking action to make changes happen. Visit reawaken your brilliance.com to learn how Julie can support you with life coaching where have you lost your humanity? Kids in cages and being separated from their parents at the border. I think it’s a really good example.
You can say that we need immigration reform and not lose your humanity. That’s the big point. I want to drive home. Sybil if she were alive, would have seen it, uh, her duty as a Christian to go to the border to help in some way shape or form. She probably wouldn’t cuddling babies doing anything that she could have. I had someone justify this separating kids by quoting the Bible. They said, Well, this is why it’s okay. Now, I you know, I don’t I didn’t even know how to respond to that. And I don’t want people to think I’m picking on anyone. So I’m gonna use a couple more examples. How about a wealthy church? Again, other examples are coming that didn’t open its doors to flood victims. I found it very disheartening that Joel Olsteen his church did not open Their church doors to floods in the victim they might have at the end after they got such backlash, but that church has taken in $650,000 a weekend. That’s what I’ve read, do your research Google, but that not only just heartened me, it angered me. And as a side note, I’m going to encourage you to do research to find out who got PPP loans. Josephine’s church got PPP loans. I think that is not what it was meant to be for it would be have so many small businesses struggling who didn’t get the money they need, but because the government didn’t have any oversight, or had poor oversight, Tom Brady’s worth 200 million and bought a yacht, and he got PPP. I’m not saying to use the PPP loans to buy a yacht, but you’re worth $200 million, and your company’s getting a million or 2 million. Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse. And a lot of these places, I believe Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse, sent the money back because people were so outraged when that happened. So we had restaurants that had closed the door. I know many people had to close the doors, especially if they had a brick and mortar thing. So just as a side note, Google and educate yourself. And again, whatever you decide is good. But the PPP didn’t go to what it was meant for. And so I believe that the old steam church should have opened their doors I to me, why didn’t you open up, I will let you contemplate that. Again, I don’t want people to feel like I’m picking up Christians or churches. So during the Rwandan genocide, Hutu officials called the Tutsis, cockroaches that need to be cleared out. And again, we have the Holocaust, an example. And one of the reasons I want to do this month and I’m just going to bring it up again, if we’re not going deeper on the podcast, you should look for another podcast, as I grow, I want to share what I’ve learned or give you the tools to contemplate thing. I mentioned that person in the room was super angry at me, if I’m not challenging you, or pushing you that I’m not doing my job. And this isn’t the easy thing to look at. But we have to, because if we don’t look at it, if we don’t become present, then it can happen again. I mean, don’t take my word for Google. But the far right Nazis are on the rise in Germany. There was an article I read not too long ago about how someone infiltrated the police departments and they have concerns about that happening now. It’s a bigger issue address why which we’ll talk a little bit about briefly, but it’s something we need to be talking about as a society. Who would you like to emulate in the situation? Who feels more loving to you? And again, only you can answer that? What language? Do you used to dehumanize something? And I want to remember that it’s plants and animals, earth, people, it’s everything. How we treat one another. But animal, the V word, the C word, and the P word about women. What images Have you shared that to humanize? It’s one of the reasons I’m really doing pretty well being on Facebook less. What are you sharing? What are you passing around? And you know, at first, you might be shocked. But then as you start to see these images more and you again, what they’re talking about the categorization all that then kind of that allows you to relax that standard. Because if you’re not paying attention to it, and it just comes across your screen, it’s that little subliminal messaging going on. What do you think is behind you do humanizing another? Have you considered that?
Do you need to feel empowered? Do you need to feel better than someone else? You to prop up your self esteem? Are you trying to fulfill a need? The HOA president sent a text saying that she wanted in all capital letters, only real Americans to serve on the board. Well, we all know what that’s implying. And again, what’s sad about that is well, there are multiple things that are sad, but we know she didn’t want anyone that didn’t look like her on the board. Because she’s dehumanized another, for sure. There are other actions that have been done as well. But that really to me is is just sad. Because if you’re willing to put that in writing, which shocks me, what else are you doing? Another thing I want you to think about the Do you crow when something is done to your side in quotation marks, but not the other? For example, if something upsets you about Melania Trump, but the exact same thing is done to Hillary Clinton, are you equally as upset? How can you be upset about one and not the other? And I just wanted to bring in one small example that cuz I see that all the time. You know, it’s not an either or you can’t be upset about this, if you’re willing. You’re dehumanizing. If you are, well, it’s not okay to do to her. But it’s okay to do it to her that you really contemplate about this. Where have you done this? And again, don’t beat yourself up. It’s about becoming aware, I just before I started recording, this got this phenomenal email from a client. And she boy did she dig deep. And it was tough. But it is completely empowering to her because she is aware of some things now she’s really going to be able to make giant leaps and bounds. But she did the work kept, excavating, kept looking at herself. How can I be a better person? What is this about? And that’s the purpose of doing this today. Because remember, when you judge another you judge yourself, when you disrespect another you disrespect yourself. When you dehumanize another ultimately, you dehumanize yourself, whatever you put out in life comes back to you in some way, shape, or form.
I’d like you to now turn it around. Where have you felt dehumanized? When have you felt to humanize? Who made you feel dehumanized? How did that make you feel? Didn’t feel good? Or did it feel kind of yucky and gross? And ooh.
I felt dehumanized as a woman for sure. No, we have this whole me to movement. And I’m talking to you Hollywood. And was reading a couple articles how they haven’t done anything all this money was raised? And what’s been done with it? What are people doing to change it? How things changed? That’s really we need to look how have things changed? Are we doing the same old, same old and just giving it lip service? Now I want you to kind of expand your thinking not only to how it’s affected, you are seeing others to humanize both how it’s affected you and when you see it happening to other people. How do you think it affects me? How do you think it affects your community? How do you think it affects our community? That we have a board president who only wants quote unquote, real Americans on the board? What do you think that says, to our community? What do you think it says to certain people in our neighborhood? How do you think it affects our world? When we dehumanize one another war is the obvious extreme consequence, when we dehumanize? But think about another way?
How can you have more humanity? practice empathy. Put yourself in someone else’s shoes. Believe in basic human rights such as food, water, shelter, and health care.
People have really dehumanized the people coming in this country. And I would just want to share and take a moment. Some of these people walk on foot, on foot, hundreds of miles with all their belongings in a backpack. They are in countries that have been torn by war. Some are overrun by gangs. What I’ve read that has happened to some girls and women and children in this country. Some of these countries is beyond heartbreaking. And again, I’m not saying you have to say hey, we need to do all this. What I’m asking you to do is to be like civil and see the humanity and everyone and catch yourself. Wow, I was really easy to write that off. Why is that? Because remember whatever’s going on. inside of you is going to be reflected on the outside if you feel the need to put another down. Why is that? It’s about you. practice empathy, as best as you can. It might not be easy for some of you and that’s okay. And if this episodes really angered you or upset you, I invite you to look within because what others say and do is about them and how you respond is about you. I talked at the beginning of the podcast how civil was very different than me. So I heard you talk to someone who doesn’t think look or act like you make those connections, you have to be BFFs with people. But if we start to see someone who looks or thinks or acts differently than us, and you find that commonality, because for most people, we can find that commonality. I mean, even people that drive me nuts, and when I get those moments like, oh, how can I someone think like that? I say, okay, Julie, bring it back. They are doing what they believe is best, or they’re trying to find a solution because their concern, or maybe it’s coming from a place of being scared when have you been scared in your life and maybe not responded in the best way. So practicing empathy daily, and getting outside of your box, getting outside of your comfort zone, and expanding your network. Because if we make those human connections, that keeps us from the other from seeing someone is less than I think it’s really important. If you are into astrology, definitely check out people is apparently the Age of Aquarius started this year, and it’s all about power to the people. I believe that most of us, the majority of us are awesome, nice, kind, decent human being, who are really connected. I just think a small segment of society want to keep us fighting want to keep us under their thumb. I don’t think most people do. I think we have more in common than we don’t just become aware of where you’ve lost your humanity, and you can learn from it. I talked about how I’d see homeless people in Los Angeles, I believe. And I learned about dual diagnosis, not treating our soldiers peih Gee St. and all that stuff, then allowed me to open my heart. Anytime you do something kind of like think of the Grinch and his heart growing and when you open your heart a little you can open your heart a lot.
Take action from today’s podcast. Contemplate where you’ve lost your humanity. Think about what clutter dehumanizing someone has created for you.
Examine what language you use to make someone less than recognize what images you shared that to humanize someone. On where you’ve been a hypocrite understand why you may be feeling what you’re feeling. Think about when and how it felt when you were dehumanized. Fake figure out how you can connect with all of life. People, animals, plants. practice empathy. act from a place of love and compassion. Alright, everyone, we are almost to the end of March. I’m going to encourage you to spend time contemplating how the first third of your year went is we’re almost done. I can’t believe it already 1/3 of the way through the year. A lot of us had a curveball from last year. Don’t let that happen again this year, there probably still going to be challenges and struggles. And again, your perspective and your attitude can go a long way to support you. Are you getting what needs to be done done? Are you breaking things down into manageable steps? How are you holding yourself accountable? At the end of the year I want to hear about all the things that you did again have compassion with yourself life happens I didn’t get the end of life draft done last year. Okay, but I still did other goals that I can work on. So check in and see how the first sort of the years go on what changes do you need to make ie to delegate delete, get some support. hold yourself accountable. Next month, or focusing on starting over? Go out Clear Your Clutter to create the life you choose deserve and desire. When you clear your clutter, you can share your gifts with the world. Sign up for our free newsletter at reawaken your brilliance calm. Even enjoy enjoyed Clear Your Clutter inside now. Please rate review and share us
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