Why do we have knee jerk reactions? What are the types of knee jerk reactions we can have? How can we release our knee jerk reactions? Learn how to clear some emotional clutter.
HAPPY 250th Episode Clearing the Clutter Inside & Out!
Certified life coach, author & award-winning professional life organizer Julie Coraccio shares steps and tips to support you in creating the life you choose, deserve and desire through decluttering your life, mindfulness and how to organize your life.
About Clearing the Clutter Inside & Out
Clutter is stuck stagnant energy and prevents you from creating the life you choose, desire and deserve. We discuss clutter in all its forms: energetic, spiritual, emotional, mental & physical, relationships, health, finances and more. We share tips and take action steps for clutter free living and how to organize your life. We’re thinking outside the box on areas where people might not realize where clutter is blocking them. When we remove clutter from our lives we can discover our passions, lead the extraordinary lives we are all meant to live and share our gifts with the world.
TRANSCRIPT KNEE JERK REACTIONS
Julie Coraccio 0:00
Bam clearing the clutter inside and out. We’re talking about knee jerk reactions. Why do we have knee jerk reactions? What are the types of reactions we can have? How can we stop doing and having knee jerk reactions? Learn how to clear some emotional clutter as we finish our month focusing on 10 minute decluttering tips
Unknown Speaker 0:40
ready to clear your clutter and share your gifts with the world every Tuesday at 1pm. Join award winning professional organizer, author and certified Life Coach Julie Coraccio. On clearing the clutter inside and out as she teaches you how to navigate the waters to declutter your life. Julie Coraccio destroys the box examines clutter in all areas, physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, energetic relationships, health, finances and more.
Julie Coraccio 1:15
First, Happy 200 and 50th episode. I can’t believe it. I am really proud. This is a great year we crossed a million downloads and January on the 250th episode. I was reading in a podcast group that I belong to that most podcasts don’t even make it past the first episode. I was really surprised by that. And then someone said it was something like seven episodes where many people fall off if they get past the first. So superduper proud of myself patting myself on the back here. And thank you to everyone who listens and watches because if people weren’t tuning in, I will wouldn’t continue to do this. These episode was inspired because we all have knee jerk reactions. Probably for me, I would say the best example is when I’m in traffic. I’m a lot better than I used to be. I lived in Los Angeles for 10 years, and you’re surrounded by so much traffic, it is enough to make you mad. And I’ve been back to Los Angeles since moving here to North Carolina. And I have to tell you, I haven’t driven and hopefully it’ll stay that way when I go back to visit. I don’t know I lived there for 10 years, and I know the traffic has only gotten worse. It was just an insane place. In the past, I would have had a knee jerk default reaction dealing with anyone in traffic, I’d get angry, probably would scream something or not scream. I’m really not a screamer. have to be really upset to scream. So call them an unkind name. Make a unkind gesture. I was completely on autopilot and knee jerk reaction during that. I don’t even know if I could tell back then how automatic or knee jerk it was. Another thing that I used to have a knee jerk reaction to is if someone said something I would automatically say, or many times have the knee jerk reaction of I’m sorry. That was my default reaction. It’s my fault. How can I fix it? When the majority of time wasn’t my fault? I hadn’t done anything, which is I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. So that was another knee jerk reaction I have. I share this too, because I’m betting A lot of you. listening and watching can relate to that. What causes a knee jerk reaction? knee jerk reactions are quick defenses against anything we believe may harm us. So that makes perfect sense why we have them right? I’m getting mad at you in traffic buddy because you could have come cut me off and cause an accident. Our ego is trying to protect us. Our brains detect danger before our awareness kicks in. Now, there’s a benefit to this, it can save our lives. If you have a knee jerk reaction to jump out the window and the houses on fire, not so good if we pull out a gun or knife or our fist and road rage. They occur when we engage, but can also engage the future. Right? Have you ever gotten worked up about something that might happen as you’d go down the crazy road and get a little nuts I was pretty calm about my wedding. I have to say I was the best according the woman that helped my mother. The one thing that oh my gosh boy did annoy me was my husband’s friend and his wife. I’m very blessed that the wife did not come to our wedding. It’s a time to thank God for small miracles. Not going into too much detail. I had to call a friend to talk me off the clip. Because I went absolutely bonkers. I was in the future about what could happen. What are your triggers? Good inner triggers, right? If we know what triggers us, then it can help prepare us to not go into fight or flight hit on that autopilot. Does that mention traffic is one we can all probably relate to. My husband’s close friend triggers me as well, as I just mentioned, still triggers me I’m working on it friends, I’m working on it.
Having our integrity, or our intelligence, or our ideas, or fill in the blank, anything that makes us feel attacked our values, our beliefs, how easily do we slip into our reaction because we feel attacked. being ignored can also trigger us. I believe in that for sure. Drives me crazy when I feel I’m being ignored. Again, a lot better than I used to be. Perhaps you have a knee jerk reaction because you’re afraid of a loss or that your reputation may be adversely affected. We can all understand that. An example that comes to mind is you are unfairly treated or on social media. Someone leaves a bad review and it’s really unfair. You can understand why someone would go into fight or flight, if that’s their business, if that’s their livelihood. Some of us have these reactions because we want to win at all costs. Not a really good place to be in. If you’re in that place. I’d encourage you to begin to look at that and see if you can move past that. Are any of these sounding like reasons why you get triggered and have knee jerk reactions? What’s ringing true for you? Where are those aha moments coming in? As you listen to what I said?
Unknown Speaker 7:48
Do you keep saying you’ll declutter, get organized or pursue your dream someday, but someday hasn’t come? Learn how Julie Coraccio can support you at reawaken your brilliance calm
Julie Coraccio 8:05
How do we stop? No, your triggers just talked about that. If your mother in law triggers you at holiday dinners, have someone that has your back. They can take her away when she starts gabbing. You can have a peppy answer response. You can go into an empty room and meditate and practice deep breathing. Practice. Prepare for situations. The more you prepare, the less likely they will have power over you. That last part’s really important. When you’re having knee jerk reactions, someone or something is having power over you. I write down everything I have to say in a really difficult discussion. I might talk it over with someone get from Tony or kadhi, kind of plan it out, practice it in the mirror. And that really helps me. Stay calm and centered when I have to have a difficult conversation. Have a mindfulness practice for in the moment. That’s your kind of mindfulness, knee jerk reaction. Maybe it’s you count to 10. Maybe you draw smiley faces. Maybe you do breathing or something like tapping or EFT. If you have something that’s your go to, when you know you’re about to react, that is going to go a long way. Focus on your intent. Bring it back to the present moment. For the for triggering something that’s most likely from what’s happened in the past. If you’re driving. The goal is to get safely home, but work to the grocery store. If You are at a family dinner. The goal is to have a nice family dinner and honor your spouse or partner’s wife. Whatever it is focus on the intent that’s important to help bring you back. Wait for a better time to respond. Pull your jets and respond later if you need to. You’re going to be more effective. And your point or what you have to say is going to be heard. More likely if you I mentioned a moment ago practice write out what you need to say. Be very clear. Someone might be able to hear you better instead of one girl. Think about that. How do we all respond that right shut you down or don’t want to listen to that. So it’ll serve you to respond to it and you know you need to respond to some situations. This is you can do everything from love. You can have healthy boundaries from love. Slowing down your knee jerk reactions is To help you, it’s to make you have more peace of mind and make your life easier. It’s not about other people. But that doesn’t mean you don’t have to respond to certain situations. I just want to be really clear to make sure people understand that I’m not saying just go away and become angry. Have a confrontation, have a discussion, whatever you need to do. What happens if you start jerking? Your humans that happen? Don’t go down that road of judgment. Bring the self kindness in now. Become present. The mindfulness part is really going to bring it home for you if you notice what words you’re using. So bring that focus. What words Am I using? How is my body feeling? Am I in my body, or my muscles tense are my teeth clenched is my pulse racing Focus on something, what am I hearing? What am I tasting, focus on something to bring you present? shift your attention, bring the focus back on you. what others do and say is about them. How I respond is about me. How do I want to be in this moment? Can I rise above this occasion? Or do I want to lower my vibration and energy? no right or wrong here, no good or bad. It’s a choice. It’s always a choice. I can tell you from years of practicing this, when I choose better, I feel better. Walk away. Take a break, so the situation doesn’t get escalated. You can always walk away. If you have to make a phone call. Do whatever you need to do to get away from the situation. Take some deep breaths and relax and not take it Further, I think so many instances of road rage
wouldn’t happen if someone were to take a break and not escalate. Because what is it once we start going and it’s kind of the energy of that, I’m gonna ratchet it up and escalate it because I don’t want to back down. You’re not the lesser quote unquote person for backing down, get out of thinking like that shift your thinking on that. I choose to be the better person. Here are some previous episodes that can support you. From February 2017 Episode 164, spectacular self care also from 2017 during the holidays number 213. Holiday self care plan from December 2017 165 from February of that year, on Your truth number 62. From April 2015 acknowledge your emotions. And finally, number 25 from way back in October 2014 honoring all emotion. take actions. Pay attention. Where do you have knee jerk reactions? Write down what your triggers are. For you to plan to combat, you’re reacting. Consider a mindfulness practice if you don’t already have one. All right, everyone, remember next month, we are taking a vacation. I am taking vacation from the podcast. This was Episode 250. So you have an archive 250 episodes that that should keep you busy over the next six weeks. Or take a break. If you’ve been doing a lot of decluttering take a break. Your clutter is not gone anywhere and taking breaks are good. You can have some fun. Go find your joy, and then come back renewed to tackle more clutter. I returned on Tuesday, August 21. With all new episodes, I guess not all new because they’re always a new episode. They aren’t an old episode. Alright everyone, enjoy the break. Don’t forget you can follow me on social media. I’ll still be posting daily so if you need some inspiration, check me out. I’m on all the major channels Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn, YouTube, I think I’ve got everything covered. Go out. Clear the clutter to create the life you choose. deserve. Desire.
Unknown Speaker 16:03
Ready to live a more joyful and fulfilling life.
Unknown Speaker 16:06
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Transcribed by https://otter.ai